BROKEN BIRD

DISCONTINUED FOR NOW, SORRY BABES; SHE’LL BE BACK ONE DAY

{ HANDE ERCEL, 21, CIS WOMAN, SHE/HER } Is that DERYA SAHIN? A JUNIOR originally from ALEXANDRIA, VA, they decided to come to Ogden College to study PHILOSOPHY & PRE-MED. They’re THE BROKEN BIRD on campus, but even they could get blamed for Greer’s disappearance.

- SPOTIFY - WANTED CONNECTIONS -

     it was simple, the words that left her lips, yet they seemed to hold such an impact on link. they often found themselves wondering about what he felt with derya — he never said he loved her, not out loud. she was loud and proud about her feelings for him, yet link had a much harder time. still, derya being the angel that she was, was patient with him. even when he pushed her away and eventually took greer’s side for his own selfish reasons. there was always a voice in the back of his head, asking whether he would regret not saying everything to her, when he knew he felt it.

   though, it was finally catching up to him — he knew it would be too good to be true, to be faced with derya and not have to face what he did to her. he instinctively pulled his hands away, suddenly feeling like the air was leaving the room around him. “ — i don’t give a fuck about greer. i don’t know what i need to do to… to fuckin’ show you that. ” though, derya had every reason not to believe him — it was tough to believe link crawford of ogden, right ? and then she says she never stopped loving him, and his mind started to spin. it was always in shows of affection or intimacy that link felt the most exposed, weak, and with no knowledge of what to do next. thanks for that, mom. “ do you think we could… ever be friends again ? ” he asks in a whisper instead, avoiding everything else.

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Her eyes kept on wandering towards the dark room, then back to him and the light. It was difficult for her to really focus now and the whole situation, blackout and Link, too, only worsened her current mood. Untold and certainly hidden away emotions of her were slowly making its way towards the surface, threatening to take away their moment of peace before spiraling their conversation into the same darkness she stared into. Fingers angrily picked at her skin, unable to keep a clear head now. “You showed me already. We would probably still be on good terms, at least, if you didn’t make sure I knew about whose side you were on.” There’s a pause now, with herself catching up on all of her thoughts, “I’m just an idiot, naive and stupid. The most popular girl at school versus one of the least popular ones,” Derya rolled her eyes, her lips pressed together to suppress the tears by grimacing. 

“Daiquiri is a classic. Have you ever tried a Miami Vice? I doubt you can get one tonight, but if you ever come to the bar I’ll make one for you. It’s fusion of pina colada and a strawberry daiquiri. Unless you hate pina coladas,” Gabe encouraged, though giving her the chance to decline as Derya had just said she didn’t like sugary drinks a moment earlier. At her question about being the chaperone, Gabe couldn’t help but chuckle. So she definitely knew about Jesse and Kian. “I’m on the lookout in case I need to drag either of them away from drama, but as of now I’m off duty and ready to enjoy the night. Maybe you can show me how to play some of the games? I’ve played poker a few times, but never in a setting like this. I am pretty good at guessing people’s tells, though. I think we can make a great team.”

Taking a sip of his drink, Gabe couldn’t help the warmth in his chest as Derya commended his gentlemanly ways. “I try to be. It’s how my grandmother raised me,” he replied with a charming smile, wondering if he should delve into his family history with Derya. Deciding that it wasn’t trauma dumping as he’d since worked through most of it, he decided to let her in. “My parents died when I was a child, and she’s raised me since. She’s back in Atlanta, far from here but she’s always very excited for me when I tell her about my latest developments,” he beamed as he spoke fondly of Cassandra Monroe. “What about you, what’s your family like?”

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Derya’s mouth opened slightly. She listened to his explanation, in awe with how much he knew about cocktails. “No I actually like them. Only if you add loads of pineapple juice rather than too much cream.” Laughing at his answer, Derya instinctively placed a hand against his arm, her head slightly leaned backwards as she kept on laughing. “You really have to take care of everybody, huh? That’s actually really cute. And thoughtful. They must be glad to have you as a friend.” Looking at him, Derya couldn’t help but smile warmly. She almost forgot where they were and the purpose of today, but as soon as he spoke about playing Derya looked around. The various tables were at least filled halfway, but, if Gabe played, she’d play as well. “I can try poker with you. I’ve only ever played online poker, so it’s much easier, especially because you don’t see anyone’s tells. Like biting one’s lip can be a sign that you’re nervous.” She imitated it then, her lower lip got caught between her teeth while her eyes focused on his lips for just a moment before looking away. 

Jacqui missed the sound of her name, not hearing it in the cacophony of the room, only turning when they felt a hand grab theirs. Jacqui wasn’t one to jump from such a thing, a smile already on their face as they glanced towards whoever had grabbed them, their expression brightening up when they realized it was Derya. “Hi,” Jacqui greeted in a coo, throwing their arms around Derya in a hug even as the other girl dropped her hand. As they pulled back, a hint of confusion appeared on their face, forehead wrinkling. “What do you mean, you don’t know how to act around me?” they asked, eyebrows turning up in the middle. They hated that - the idea that someone wouldn’t be themselves around them. Jacqui was always one to try to get the root of who people were, seeing no reason to pretend to be anyone other themself, and wanting nothing more than everyone else to feel the same around her. “Just act like yourself,” she suggested, sliding a hand back into Derya’s as their smile returned. “But absolutely I’d want to spend time with you.” 

    he couldn’t help but laugh along with her — her laugh being contagious, a soft and warm sound that he missed. it was a nostalgia that felt both good and bad to experience right now. but he tried his best to focus on the good feeling that it elicited, rather than all the bad that came with any time he saw her from afar, or ran into her. there’s a lot he wished he could have done differently, or taken back. “ — maybe you’re just really easy to make laugh. because most people wouldn’t find the same joke that funny, derya, i can promise you that. ” he tells her with a small scoff.

    and suddenly she was getting closer, and they were realizing that their hands were still intertwined when they sat down together. her eyes got a little darker, her tone a little more serious — and the topic at hand that he feared being brought up the most around her was now open to discussion. he tenses up a little, the grip on her hand getting just a squeeze tighter. “ derya… i don’t — it’s not you, okay ? it was never about you. you’re perfect. ” it’s about me — the self loathing, the lack of ability to dive any deeper with intimacy, the decision to have some power and control over someone who genuinely made him happy… but he didn’t say that out loud. he tries to deflect instead, “ look… is it a good idea ? to talk about this right now ? ”

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She’d always loved to just be around Link, how they could so easily make her laugh with little to no effort, which was both the result of her love for him and his talent to tell jokes. They exuded power, which was particularly intriguing to her, but nothing more than knowing she remained a soft spot in Link, something they couldn’t quite forget. Shaking her head by their words, Derya’s giggling continued for just a bit, “it’s your way of telling the jokes that makes me laugh. It’s you.” She immediately regretted saying that even though they were true. 

“Don’t worry about it, we have all night,” Gabe assured her, feeling his cheeks redden as he watched the girl accept the flowers he had brought her. Did he extend his hand to her, or offer his arm? He didn’t really read up on it, but as she comfortably took his hand his nerves relaxed. “I’m really glad we’re going together, Derya. I really do want to get to know you more.” It wasn’t empty flattery, ever since she wrote her number on his arm (which he washed out after saving it and texting her) he’d been intrigued by the girl living down the hall from him. 

As they arrived at the event, Gabe admired the decor and overall ambience. The event planning team at Ogden certainly pulled out all the stops. “We can get a drink, what’s your go-to?” Gabe replied to Derya’s question, wondering if he could make it for her one day. “I’m an old-fashioned guy. As in… the drink. I’m pretty modern I think,” he added, cringing at his own attempt at smoothing over the conversation. Hoping he didn’t make Derya regret her choice for the night. “Do you play a lot of games like this?” he asked as they waited for their drinks, leaning against the bar casually.

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Derya nodded at his words, smiling in the process. Today would be a good day, despite her previous doubts and worries. Gabe was one of the kindest people she got to know here in Ogden, though she didn’t know him for long, she could still  recognize he had a a good heart and even better intentions. “Me too.” she shook her head, “I really want to get to know you better, I mean.” Pressing her lips into a thin line she waited for a response, for his facial expression to change into confusion, but he seemed happy, genuinely happy. And why would she try and sabotage their relationship already? Fear, perhaps, fear of being mistreated, left alone. For once she had to accept the fact at face value and not question anything.

closed starter for @derya-sahin when: october 8, 2022 where: outside derya’s dorm

Knocking on the door, Gabe’s other hand clutched a bouquet of asters and carnations that he’d gotten from the grocery store. They weren’t anything fancy, but he was trained by his grandmother to always bring a gift when taking a woman out on a date. A grin spread across his face as he saw her open the door, taking in her attire. “You look beautiful,” he complimented bashfully, holding the bouquet out to her. “These are for you. I… sort of forgot to get a vase. But I do have an empty bucket in my room that I can use in the meantime if you don’t have one,” he offered, checking the time. “Ready to head over?”

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Looking at herself in the mirror, Derya practiced her breathing to calm herself down. She wasn’t sure if attending today would be a good idea. She’d survived seven minutes in heaven and even enjoyed her time there, so Derya decided to go nonetheless. Any trip out of her comfort zone would be a great way to practice her social skills. Hearing the knock, Derya immediately turned her head towards its direction and hastily moved towards the door, opening it without any hesitation. What a pleasant recurrence, seeing Gabe in front of her door again. With a smile Derya’s eyes wandered from his towards the flowers and back, clearly excited and surprised. “Oh my God, thanks. And here we are again, in front of my dorm, you bringing me something,” she joked. Grabbing the nearest glass she filled it with water and dunked the flowers into it for now. “I’ll properly care for them later, I promise.” With a nod she took Gabe’s hand and moved out of the room, quickly walking down the stairs, laughing all the way. With Gabe she felt secure and not too nervous, so everything worked out in the end for her. 

her theme of the day: OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE;

One eyebrow raised up at Derya’s proposition of some fun, Nate glancing at her out of the corner of his eye - the fun people usually came to him for wasn’t something he would expect her to so blatantly ask, from the brief conversations they had had, so….yeah, he was a bit thrown off. Her immediate correction made things make much more sense, Nate’s steps slowing as he glanced down at her, a questioning gaze tracing her face for a few moments. He instantly wondered what the ulterior motive was, why she was asking him. There had to be some sort of catch - especially with the way things had stood with him and Rhia, the radio silence he was now receiving…he found it hard to believe that anyone would approach him with that much straightforwardness. “Why?” he asked bluntly, not able to settle on any obvious reason why she had settled on asking him. Other than he said he enjoyed beer pong - it was a college campus, it’s not like it was hard to find someone who did. “I mean, why are you asking me?” he said, expanding on his question as his head tilted up slightly, peering down at Derya. 

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     link doesn’t often allow himself to get close to people, but when they do, they make sure to really learn the other person — and derya, he learned her like the back of his hand. usually, him learning people was for the purpose of learning how to control them better. but not with derya — learning her was more about what link could do to help her, and make sure that she never saw any more devastating days. though, at the end of the day, he was the one to be the cause of one for her, and he hadn’t recovered from that yet. still, he knew her — he knew when she wasn’t being truthful. “ it’s okay…— you’re not alone anymore. ” they slowly begin to reach out, taking her hands in theirs in order to give her some sense of comfort. touching her again felt so comforting and nostalgic. 

     they sat down on her bed, on the other end of it — the last thing they’d want to do is make her feel even more uncomfortable. but it seemed like she had really wanted him to stay, so he stays. he smiles softly at her, letting out a small breath of a laugh. “ of course i do, you used to laugh at the most ridiculous things. ” it was one of the most endearing things about her. “ — you remember that one awful dad joke that always got you ? what was it… ” he looks down, before making an ah ! sound when he finally remembers, looking back up to derya, “ was it.. what do you call a fish wearing a bowtie ? sofishticated ? ”

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After what happened with Geer, Derya didn’t feel comfortable enough to approach Link, or even see them. Maybe she was overreacting, but Derya thought the exact opposite: she wasn’t far away enough while the sting of betrayal still continued to hurt. Would this be their first encounter after their break up? Pretty convenient. Seeing him here certainly hurt. it served as just another reminder of how much she’d loved him and how little it mattered in the end. Though, with Greer’s disappearance, was it really this horrible for Derya to think she could finally be at peace? Approach Link again? Feeling their warm fingers against hers, Derya tensed for just a moment only to visibly relax -- shoulders lowering, head tilted downwards to watch their hands instead. 

“Rachel, right? We just know each other in passing, she’s a senior too so we moved in at the same time,” Gabe replied, hoping he got the name correct and didn’t just make a fool of himself in front of Derya. “Why wouldn’t I? It’s not like it takes a lot of effort, plus it makes your life easier I’m guessing.” Gabe wasn’t naïve to the way the world worked, that there were unhelpful people or those who only lent a hand when there was something in it for them. But that wasn’t how his grandmother raised him. “I mean, I’m a student athlete so I’m prone to injury. Good to know I have a future doctor on call,” he quipped, knowing that he had Jesse already but it certainly didn’t hurt to have Derya right there. “I’m a psychology major, planning on going to grad school as soon as possible.” He had less than a year left of his degree, and then it was onto working while he decided what specialization of the field he wanted to focus on. “I’ve honestly been stalling on looking at grad school applications, so thank you for bringing that up. Maybe I’ll see more of you around during the next year?”

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“Yeah, that’s her. The one and only. Little miss I collect shampoo bottles and get mad if anyone else tries to get rid of them because they’re already empty.” Derya seemed to relax with every passing minute, even laughing at her joke, which was actually something that had happened in the past. For now she’d decided to just leave the other woman be and just stay separated for the most part. “You could’ve easily just opened the package and looked inside to see if that’s something for you. There are plenty of compilations on YouTube about people stealing things.” Though she shouldn’t judge him too quickly. He seemed like an extremely nice guy, taking extra steps for others without them having to ask, just because he wants to. “Yeah, I can help you out if you’re ever injured, um.” She took her phone and a pen and wrote on his arm -- her number, just for future reference. “You’d think I’d have a piece of paper around here. Just books, I’m afraid.” 

She listened intently now and as the coffee date transpired. An intrigue in this newfound LARP discussion and the brunette’s one true love: shopping. Their table casually alternating between interlaced conversation and occasional laughter. A promise settling within that Lara would be there in the morning. Honest and supportive advice at the ready. “Ten it is,” she responds, pink lips stretching out into an easy smile.

    he was both surprised and not so surprised to see how receptive she was at his arrival, the way she instantly invited them in — but he knew how she felt about the dark, and being alone in it.. so no matter who link would have been, derya might have let them in. they could already see the anxiety in her body language, though her face wasn’t so clear to him right now in the darkness. and then in her voice, it was a lot more obvious — the whispers, the shakiness. all it did was make him want to pull her in for a hug. perhaps, derya was one of the few in this world who knew how to tug at the soft sides of link.

    “ i’m fine, are you ? ” he asks, dismissing himself. “ — must be a power outage. you’d think they’d have generators lined up, for a college full of students living on campus… ” he thinks aloud, before letting his focus go back to derya. “ i know… you’re not a fan of the dark. so i thought you could do with some company. unless you want me to leave… ” their last conversation didn’t go so well, so link wasn’t sure if him coming here was the brightest idea.

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With her fingers slightly shaking Derya made sure to not reveal too much of her anxiety to them, but Link probably knew better. She could hide all she wanted, the truth was practically visible without being visible at the same time. Her body language revealed too much and Derya couldn’t stop all of her anxiety from showing right now. “Yeah, yeah I think so. I’m just low on sugar,” she lied to not worry him any further. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that she didn’t want Link to stick around for too long out of fear the Greer thing would come up. This wasn’t the right time to discuss that topic, but eventually it would have to be. 

“I’d like to see them try. If they get to have fun quests, so do we.” She notes the shift to her friend’s posture and how slipping into this scene is far more palpable on the tongue. A moment away from the surging anxiousness within her. “If you ever wanted to go to a LARP, I’d come with you. You’d have to break the rules down for me but I’d be there for support.” It’s a possibility for later - a promise that she’d be a soundboard for her anxieties if she needed it. “I would love that. Shopping has me in a chokehold. My wardrobe… Not so much.” It’s any wonder it’s still in tact at this point. Lara possessed a penchant for buying far too many clothes. “I promise to give you my honest opinion. Even if you do look hot as fuck in anything.”

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