Dermatophagia

Photo one: A month or two ago, before I stopped biting

Photo two: a few weeks ago a few days after not biting

Photo three: 3 weeks without biting

I got my vertical labret pierced yesterday and I’ve found it as a barrier for my biting. I typically always bring my hands to the center of my mouth. It’s more of a reminder than anything. Usually I bite every minute or so if not less time than that. I got the piercing yesterday around 8pm so tonight at 8pm I’ll have gone 24 hours without biting. Again, I’m always biting. I can’t go 5 minutes without biting so last night when I got home around 11, that three hours was a giant accomplishment as is. I’m sure I could work around my piercing but I don’t wanna find out so I’m just tricking my mind into thinking I can’t bite. It’s 10:26am the next day, and I’m extremely fidgety, panicky, and it’s hard to breathe correctly but I’m really trying to kick this. Another thing I’ve been doing is not feeling my fingers for loose skin or looking at my hands.

So I just sat in my chair in my room in a call with my boyfriend and did absolutely nothing but bite for a whole fucking hour. It was what I identify as a “bite attack” or a “biting fit”. During these episodes I completely zone out and forget about everything except biting. I lose track of time, I forget what I was doing to begin with. Lately these haven’t been happening very often. I bite 24/7 every day. I can’t ever have friends take a surprise picture of me because it’s extremely likely I’m biting in it. I bite for a few seconds all the time, most of the time. However there are times where I sit and do nothing but bite anywhere from 30 minutes to 1 hour and 30 minutes and I can’t pull away. I’ve found the few 30 some seconds I do end up pulling away that I’m on the verge of a panic attack. Like extremely anxious and I can’t do anything.

There are also many many times that I can’t write anything or type or do anything with my hands for very long without stopping and biting for a few minutes. Idfk. It’s getting bad as fuck and I can’t get help.

Hi. I’m Ash. I have dermatophagia. I went to a diagnostic appointment to see if I had bipolar and I brought up that I obsessively and compulsively bit my fingernails and cuticles and hands in fucking general.

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He told me “oh it’s just a bad habit” just a bad habit I said? Alright.

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I’ve been biting every. single. day. Since I was about 8. I’m almost 18. I did stop for a while when I first painted my nails last summer (I think it was then?) but I relapsed and felt like shit about it.

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I remember people are always telling me these things:

“Stop biting”

“You’re biting again”

“That’s self harm”

“That’s disgusting”

“Your hands are disgusting”

“Oh it’s not a disorder. It’s a bad habit”

Etc. etc. etc.

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