Wel it’s official
I’ve been cheated on. Again. First time since I graduated high school. 2011 was the last time I was cheated on. So congratulations homie. You’re the first of my adult life
I feel like I’m reacting similarly to the first time I was cheated on in 2009. Intense anxiety. Crying all the time. Nausea. God I just want to vomit. 
Thing is he has no idea I know.
He’s texting me like normal. The girl told me she was going to block him. Idk how to handle it. When I was a teen I kept in contact and him telling me lies after lies and our friends told me lies but we were all children. This I adulthood. Extreme adulthood because we’re in our fucking 30s.
He was sleeping in my bed every night but spending his days on the phone with some girl from socal
All while telling me he’s reconnecting with a friend he used to have when he lived down there. Planning on visiting his “buddy”
She straight said “hi Im buddy”
I feel sick
He’s a user and liar and a cheater. When we first met we said how we felt about loyalty and I explained how it hurt me so bad to be cheated on. He promised he wouldn’t do anything like it.
Apparently there was another girl last year he tried to talk to but she said he needed someone who had compassion and patience to deal with his emotional baggage. Yikes. Shes right. Im built of compassion and patience. But not for this.
Even tho I see his smile when I close my eyes and smell him when he isn’t around and see his shadows in my room where he usually is. I cannot let his embarrassment and disrespect go on any further.
