Depressed-retail-worker

Australians are genuinely the sweetest customers. I just had an older Australian gentleman come into the shop, looked about for a bit, bought something, and as he was leaving he complimented my t shirt, which said “due to unfortunate circumstances I am currently awake”. We had a good laugh about it and before he left he said “I just wanted to mention it because its genuinely the funniest shirt I’ve seen in a while and I didn’t want you to think I was staring at your chest”

So it’s fairly early still and I’m alone in the shop. One of my coworkers comes in and asks if I’ve seen a cereal bowl around anywhere. I said I haven’t so he goes downstairs and as he heads down I shout after him “has it been a bowl more than three times, then?” He was like huh? And I explained that to be a serial killer you need to kill at least 3 people. In mock exasperation he exclaims “it’s not a serial bowl!”

man walking past the shop door: this is top secret

Just had an American granddad in who tried to haggle with me and when I said oh we don’t do that here he was like aw. you look like a haggler

12 year old girl to her mum about her brother:

I’m in awe of the stranglehold labubus have on people. Within the last two days I’ve had:

A child came in with his parents and sister and went right up to our button badges, picked one up and proudly yelled “this one says fuck off!”

Hordes of zombies chanting labubu are after me

I gave a tourist a £5 note in change and she turns it over and goes “who is that fat guy”