“all my soul within me burning”

“i did not wait for you—

i didn't know you were coming.

when you walked into my life

i didn't know it was you

because i didn't know there was a you

you were never a list

a goal, a dream or

an expectation—

you were a surprise

a gift, an adventure,

a beautiful new beginning

to a story i never thought l'd have.”

my love has made me selfish. i cannot exist without you - i am forgetful of everything but seeing you again - my life seems to stop there - i see no further. you have absorb'd me. i have a sensation at the present moment as though i was dissolving - i should be exquisitely miserable without the hope of soon seeing you ... i have been astonished that men could die martyrs for religion - i have shudder'd at it - i shudder no more - i could be martyr'd for my religion - love is my religion - i could die for that - i could die for you.

“[…]you make me sick with desire, with a desire to posses you, to have you around me always[…]”

“i want to utter you. i want to portray you not with lapis or gold, but with colors made of apple bark.

there is no image i could invent that your presence would not eclipse.”

“i love you and i discover it little by little, minute by minute, in a long wonder. you can't know; like a very young girl. all in love. nothing is more important between you and me; nothing or no one in the world and if you live and if i live we will be us forever, in spite of time and distance, and ideas and other people, and good and bad health.”

“love. lay me down under grass & sunlight, and touch me [right here] and here and here. where the ache & hurt have gone to nest.

[(now again)] my fingers will find yours, tangle & sweeten the air, and the birds will cry [for] us alone.”

“no, we're not soulmates. this is not divine intervention. and this is most certainly not chance. i willed this. i knit the threads of fate myself until they spelled your name. i love you intentionally. i love you with every bit of conscience i was born with.”

“pure, & i mean that:

her hair touching my arm as she sleeps.

imagine feeling that safe. i can.

i do. the terror of all times stops, the night

freezes. she shifts quietly but doesn't wake.

soft midnight breathing like a blue hammock,

paradisiacal. everything becomes bearable.

& i think, i've loved you the whole

of my life, which isn't possible,

my life only started when i loved you,

which is.”

“i fell for your thoughts,

the way that you said my name, how you make me speechless

i ache to be inside your mind,

hear the whisper of every thought, get lost in your deepest desires

i want you lying down next to me

caressing the soft curves of my face, running your fingers down my back

i fell for you.

i ache for you

i want you.”

“i show you my favourite books

because i love you

and i play for you my favourite music

because i love you.

what is love if not the sharing

of something beautiful?

something that will make your life brighter?”

“i woke up wanting your lips on mine.

i woke up wanting your arms around my waist.

i woke up wanting our hands laced together.

i woke up wanting to gaze in your eyes.

i woke up

wanting you.”

“but when i think of you, i want to be alone together. i want to strive against and for. i want to live in contact. i want to be a context for you, and you for me.

i love you, and i love you, and i want to find out what that means together.”

“i don't know how you are so familiar to me— or why it feels less like i am getting to know you and more as though i am remembering who you are. how every smile, every whisper brings me closer to the impossible conclusion that i have known you before, i have loved you before— in another time, a different place some other existence.”