drmonspawn

Hes running out of excuses. Especially with his tight fitted suit and all.. until someone starts a rumor. And what does he do??? He fuels it

BREAKING: Beloved Gotham billionaire Bruce Wayne admits to fans the work he had done. The billionaire even joked that he could have bought a new company with the money's he spend on "looking this good"

Breaking: in an intreview with X magazine Brucie wayne admits to having transplants and often leaving the house in a body suit to give him that so called muscular figure and perfect body ge is known for.

Bruce: well I am proud of who I am. I paid for this body I am not ashamed to admit this.

Intreviwer: what about your hairline. We cant seem but notice your constant trips to turkey over the last 5 years.

Bruce:... no comment.... about the gala tonight...

Social media be like:

User A: I knew his chin was rather droopy. This comes with all the injection he's getting. HIS SMOLE LOOKS SO FAKE. Look at him he can't even move his brows anymore.

User B: i knew somehting was suspicious about his hair for his age.

User C: you think he got breast implants too? There is no way those are real. Someone needs to tell bro that this is too much

User D: after listening to his intrveiwe today I learned that calf implants are a thing. Like si there somehting real about this man? Next thing we know that jawline is fake..... tell me why I jist googled jawline implants and thats a whole thing.

User E: i have been looking at his shoes in some of the photos recently and he 100 percent wears height increasing insoles

The internet goes crazy. People posting before and after pics of Bruce. Phtotos form his childhood. Photos of his children comparing how diffrnet he looks so non of his looks, body, fake, hair, or even height should be from genitics.

He becomes knows as the plastic prince.

Starting with the parent special when their child is sick.

Brucevhilling. Walking aorund the manor

Damian: father. I have been compromised

Brice: *approaching him slowly* what happened

Damian: father my stomach hurt

Bruce:, putting a hand on his shoulder and bending down to look at his son

Damian: bleeeeeehhh *proceeds to throw up all over Bruce's front

Bruce: ....

Damian: father it hurts *whinning*

Bruce at work in a very important meeting

*Phone buzz* bruce: and so about the budget

Bruce: lets move on to- *buzzzzz*

Bruce:... *putting phone on silent

Bruce: let's countinue

Bruces PA *breaking in*: Mr Wayne, your son called.

Bruce: tell him I'm in an important meeting as you can say

PA: he said it was an emergency

Bruce:*running to the phoene* Damian, son, what's wrong, what happened?

Damian: father am I permitted frozen desert as I have assisted pennyworth with his chores and finished my homework

Bruce: let's go tim, I mean dick, I mean Jason, i mean Cass, ehhh-

Damian: father this is fumbling is beneath you

Bruce: whoever you are just let's go

Damian: sigh

Bruce enjoying blissful sleep. When suddenly he hears it.

Father, father, followed by poking father

He opens his eyes just to jump out of his skin when he sees a figure lurking in the dark

Damian: father father *resuming his poking*

Bruce: groooooann Damian what it's the middle of the night

Damian: it is noon,

Damian: I mastered a new kick!

Bruce: I'll see it later

You are rich, Bruce! Act like it! We can't have people thinking batman can't even afford lollies!

Jason comes in with: maybe he only approaches traumatized orphans cz normal children know they can do better.

Umm...

I feel like it is extremly important I know this

Im not kidding this is cannon

...

AND THE JOKER FUCKING GIVES BIRTH

If you wnat trauma go read this

Edit:

The evidence

Ok the one woth the sword is damian. The blue batman is Bruce. And thee child.... BABY ALFRED THIS YOU??

He's playing with a batman figurine i can't 😭💖

UUMMM HE IS WEARING A ROBIN TSHIRT

"Its 10 pm, do you know where your chidlren are" that got Bruce to pause. Dusk have just arrived and he is getting ready to head out as batman.

Dick and Jason are already out in the city, he can hear the hum of conversation from his coms from his cowl, wiating to be picked up. He heard it again "Hey, ist 10 pm, do you know where your children are" it must have come from the coms. The Comercial has been airing every night through the city. Arkham has not been able to hold the rogues for long these days.

Tim is passed out on the chair next to him. The case he was working on has kept him awake for days. And he's finally able to rest after a break through.

Cass and Steph are both on a mission in Hong Kong, having just sent updates earlier.

And damian, he has not seen damian all day. Its a shcool night. Surely he should be in bed right now.

It is ridiculous you'd think her son, an assasin, who started his training since he could walk, would probably have better survival instincts, but Nooooo the baby in him years for death

She is busy running around the world for missions here and there, and damian is just too young to tag along all the time. He's outgrown his baby carrier, and she's desperate.

Her solution: hand him to Jason to take care if him

Whats the catch you ask? she tells Jason his job is to baby damian.

But she also tells damian that his job is to babysitter Jason.

Que baby damian who thinks he's in charge of this guy that's like 4 times his size.

He does what mother and other servants do for him usually. He is very proud to be repsonsible:

Damian pushing Jason to eat his vegetables

Asking jaosn if he needs the bathroom every so often.

Helping jaosn put his socks on. Atempting (and fialing) at helping him tie his shoes.

He even tries to share his bottle with him when he sees he doesn't have one.

Tucking Jason in during bedtime, and even sacrificing his loyal guard, Blaze the tiger plushie, to Jason for the night.

This one is so cute and sweet!

Damian wayne centric and actually good dad Bruce 😭👌. Trick or treat au.

My continuation of the fic lol:

Later that day, bat group chat

Tim: i think I am hallucinating

Tim: how king haven't I slept for

Tim: wow 2 days, that not bad at all

Tim: the demon spaw went trick or treating apparnelty

Tim: i am possessed. I think he was adorable... he even gave me some candy

Dick: !!!!!

Dick: BRUCE

Jaosn: pictures or it didn't happen

Dick: BRUCE!!

Dick: BRUCE SEND PICTURES

Dick: you went rick or treating wihtout me???

Bruce: *insert damian staring at th

Divk: *sobbing* he is adorable i can't handle this

Dick: how dare you go trick or treating wihtout me. I missed baby's first halloween!

Bruce: Damian saved some candy for you and pentunts

Dick: MY HEART, I CANT, WHY IS HE SO CUTE

Damian is 9 btw he doesn't have a phone lol

Tim: i got some candy from damian

Jason: where is my candy?

*later that night post patrol, jason breaking into damians room. Kid, kid, wake up. So I heard you went trick or treating. Where is my share?

Then Jason absolutely melts because the second damian heard the mention of candy he shots up running while shouting over his shoudker "I left some for you!"

Pulled out my psp and was curious if I can still connect to wifi. After lots of problem solving here I am. Google browser don't work anymore on the thing but guess what does?

Now I can look cool while reading my fanfic.

First ever bookmark: Damian wayne centric tag