"Hello there hey do you have a good stapler I can borrow? My teams scout is just asking to be stapled to the wall" - Emji of @rainbow-of-teams
Anamalech puts a hand to her face, pinching her brow.
"You're asking me to help you staple someone to a wall? Why, exactly, should I be keen to do that?"
"well our medic can easily heal him and duct tape stopped working"
"And why does he want to be stapled to a wall?" She speaks with a tired voice, very much done with dealing with shenanigans like these,
"oh trust me Sean is gonna hate it but stuff like this is common on base"
"So, you want me to give you a stapler so you can staple someone to a wall even though they absolutely don't want that to happen?"
"yes and if you don't give me one I'll find it elsewhere"
"Well, if you're that insistent, I guess I can at least guarantee you'll have the safest option available, so here." They hand her the requested stapler, along with a pack of spare staples. "Just try not to be more exceedingly stupid than you're already being."
"thank you!"
"Don't mention it, just try not to get yourself permanently killed."
"respawn is pretty reliable so I should be fine"
"I'm sure it is. Now, did you need anything else?"
"well the TFI teams are all new to the area so I wouldn't say no to something like maybe a map"
"That much we can agree on. Unfortunately, maps to this place are effectively worthless, thanks to the variable geometry constantly changing even basic facts about general layouts and relative positions."
"bloody hell...well I know that won't stop Scout from trying to map out the place...he's pretty proud of his role as a scout and his mapping skills"
"He's more than welcome to try, if he would like, so long as he doesn't mind his maps being more conceptual in nature. Oh, and tell him to bring a gun. It won't be much help in killing anything most of the time, but it can give you the moment you need to escape."
"please pretty much none of us go anywhere without a weapon we're mercenaries after all"
"I'm sure you do. Just don't try to actually kill anything, it's not worth it. Fire a few shots to make whatever's after you flinch, and then use that moment to get out of there."
"got it...my flamethrowers air blast might be useful...good for getting enemies off balance"
"As long as it gives you an opening to run, it'll do."
"ya sure I can't just burn it down or are these dangers immune to fire....no fair if their immune to fire it's like a pyros whole thing"
"It's more like they're immune to death. You can't really hurt them much at as someone like us. Still, they can be made to flinch, and that's all you need to escape."
"alright then" Emji messes with the pack holding her flamethrower and grabs a lighter "got anything that needs burning? Like say documents headed for a shredder or something"
"No, I do not. In my line of work, documents headed for a shredder reach it rather promptly."
"aw man...I haven't burned anything in about maybe an hour... getting kinda antsy"
"You should probably see someone about that. It sounds like a rather unhealthy state to be living in."
"hey I'm not as bad as other pyros... I've heard ORGs pyro has got really bad pyromania compared to me... Fire is a part of life and job for pyros it's important to us"
"I appreciate that it's part of your job, but getting antsy because you've gone an hour without anything is generally a sign that it might be worth seeking professional help. I've had to recommend a number of colleagues to the same for similar issues in the past, albeit not fire-related due to that rarely being present in an office environment."
"don't worry I got a good Team that helps me out. Poe is pretty good at listening and Ulf got me a good anxiety prescription for this stuff"
"Well, if you think it works, then there's not much I can do. Is there anything else you're in need of?"
"nah I don't think so"
"Well, i imagine you've got a team to get back to, then."
"yeah see ya" Emji walks off humming softly and holding her flamethrower
Anamalech watches her leave, before getting on with her work.
