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Ferdinand: Please don't eat lava

Hubert: Eat it and let us know

Linhardt: Actually, since it's made of molten rock, it would probably taste very dusty and bland

This gangly, grungy-haired goth dude who is awkwardly too old for his peers and thinks laughing ominously all the time will make people take him seriously. “What if the archbishop just straight-up died wouldn’t that be shocking lmao just kidding did I scare you?” He loves board games, but he gets freaked out if anybody else realizes that he loves board games. He secretly wants to be a pegasus knight but he’s afraid of heights. He’s such an awkward nerd. 

While Ferdinand was out there with Constance being crowned king and queen of Nobility Prom, Hubert was practicing his sinister laugh in the mirror alone in his room. 

There is a reason he gets along so well with Bernadetta. In the high school AU I will never write, they would be the only two members of their anime club. They’d research poisonous plants together and she’d draw him pictures of his dark pegasus rider OC that he’d keep in a secret binder and never show anyone else. 

Hubert thinks threatening a teacher who is also a famous mercenary is not only a smart tactic, but one that could work. Hubert is so proud of the fact that he’s scheming against the church that he’s practically walking around with a sign that says I Have Many Dark Secrets and he desperately hopes somebody will ask him about them.