Psychotic and Iconic

It's all in the flesh anyway This physical touch It's electric and will buzz through Unbreakable, tough skin This kind of love Or whatever you may think of it Will adruptly stop When it reaches the certain layer This kind of love It's physical, messy and heart-racing The shortage of breath, exhilarating excitement Feeling each other's heartbeat Pounding in the same speed Like it has reached some kind Of perfect equilibrium This love can never be silent It is the cries of help Inside an abandoned home Driven by the mission To satisfy that hole in your chest Driven by the chronic need to end boredom Or the eery silence in my head When you're not here Driven by the feeling of adventure The rebellion against all odds And the feeling of a sinner Driven by lust and the wonder of physical touch And all the excitement That comes running along with it Driven by the utter lack of maturity And actual rational thoughts to ponder on And then there's this massive Gaping possibility Staring right in front of me That this kind of love Is not driven by actual love After all And I still choose To look the other way

A Letter to No One in Particular

from long ago i started feeling the withering roses somehow the air pressure was decreasing swiftly this was the feeling, buried deep within scratching cement walls, trying so hard to escape you see, when you finally allow the thought to show you are admitting that it is real; the raw truth that you are fading gradually, too painfully that one day, you will be nothing but the empty memory on my hands i used to feel the soft, caring touch of your lips it's hard to believe that something like that will soon be nothing you were my beating heart when my own failed when we kissed, you gave me the air i craved for so long through your reckless breath i always thought you were something too hard to grasp you are going to leave, and this, i thought, is the hardest i don't know how i'll be able to breathe without you

When I first saw you I remember thinking Wow, you're something else Back then I didn't know How this felt a lot more like Punching through glass Walking through fire And how it felt satisfyingly painful All at the same time I don't know how I survived Silently loving you from a far There were many things; But there was us, above all things And you were absolutely the only one I loved You are at least a hundred explosions and bursts of fireworks And yet the silence of the smoke trail imprinted on night sky afterwards You are the distraction that caused car accidents--crashing and burning Even the drivers were thankful for your existence You are the feeling of screaming on a mountain top, the yell of freedom You are the simple things Sipping coffee, reading books Humming to a song You are every act of kindness I can think of Every laughing smile That lights up everything about you You are random dances between hallways You are excitement; passions burning out each other You are the ringing in my ears when everything gets a little silent Constant and steady You are calm and composed Held together with lost strings and unshakable walls You are the only castle I ever wanted to explore You are everything And I don't know how I can handle that All I know is that I will love your everything How you carry your strength with you everywhere Like its a necessity Even when you are darkness itself I will love you Wherever you are--I will be Whatever you are--I will love I only hope to be something, too

i hope to see you one day flying through the sky and pushing past clouds bringing the spring on where you walk mending broken hearts and your very own and you will feel all air in your lungs when running through endless stretches of grass and all your broken pieces that you've spent four fucking years finding-- you will find them and maybe you'll show them to me too and sometimes i even hope our hearts will beat in sync when we are close in all the ways possible maybe not now when we are blinded by sullen indifference and i will see nothing but ashen eyes when you do not love me and i'm delusional enough to have sprinkles of hope thinking that you'd come back i stare at the empty halls you no longer roam you will come back i am listening to the songs imprinted into your heart you will come back and i know that the world's infinite in our human eyes and it's all for you, baby everything. the splendor of it all it's for you and i am simply not worth it easy as that i hope you take the beauty of the world and tuck them in between your fingers and carry your strength like that i hope to see your smile gleaming with the stars i hope your love's well deserved and when you look away from my miserable gaze i hope you know i loved you

some pretty important reminders for myself(and for whoever might be reading this) this 2015. i hope you take these to your heart. you are special and may you have a fabulous new year.