This could have been avoided.

Or maybe it couldn’t have been. Like I do actually have to learn this time and rebuild and not go back.

So bad. It hurts so bad.

I still like you is the problem. Because I’m broken.

But you are not a good partner. And won’t ever be. Not until you heal your own problems. They will forever be mine until you do that.

Sucks.

And now I’m suffering because I’m changed because of you. You say I’ve always been like this but I haven’t. I’ve just fallen apart a little and I’m hurt still. You brought out the wounded child in me. And make fun of her constantly.

Oh well. It is my karma. Forever will be punished for being a bad person to so many other people I think.

Idk.

It all seems so silly. Cuz what if I just gave in. And just fucking killed myself finally. I’m not a good person and I’m finally being treated as such.

Because he sees me. He sees me for how ugly I really am and I know he hates me. Why wouldn’t he?

I’m almost at my limit.

And then I’ll jump.

And then it’ll stop.

Now I know it’s true.

Feel you slipping right out of my hands.

It was always going to end this way.

Me getting my heart broken.

The way I tried not to. Like I couldn’t help it.

Would love to stop clouding my mind with so many substances to be able to connect with the dream world again.

Like it’s my subconscious, right?

Just me and my silly brain dumping all my thoughts feelings and experiences, right??

I think I lost you a while ago.

Like how gross it that?

I have never been so used to being used.