A demon that writes messages on your mirror with blood but they’re useful messages. Like “remember you have yoga at 6 tonight”

Obama on gay adoption 

Fun fact: Obama has attempted to fix almost everything that he promised to fix, but the republicans have voted almost all of his bills out of congress. He’s not the problem.

Social Anxiety will make you do weird things, such as holding onto an apple core for 45 minutes during a meeting because you’re too anxious to go to the trash can that’s 10 feet away

i love seeing girls close ranks when their fella is cheating, instead of defending him and attacking the other girls. like seriously. it warms my cold, cold heart so much. 

i need the rest of this story, where did you put the body

Are you actually defending mayonnaise? 

Im choking omg

And let it be known that on this day, tumblr user jennykrigg-court actively and unironically attempted to defend mayonnaise as a gender.

*walks into tattoo store*  I’d like one of them permanent stickers

maybe i’m still single because i didn’t forward that chain email to 17 of my closest friends 5 years ago

that’ll explain the little girl with no eyes at the end of my bed too

I want to see a reality tv show where straight dudes have to read the shitty messages they send to women to their mothers.

to catch a redditor

better yet, the mom reads the guy’s texts to him so he can feel as uncomfortable hearing them as the women had felt receiving them

SOMEONE START THIS SHOW IMMEDIATELY

So I met my 6, 8 and 9 year old cousins for the first time today and one of them asked me if I’m a girl or a boy and I told him both. The whole night they alternated between male and female pronouns and the only question they asked me was: “wait, if you’re a boy AND a girl, what color is your bike?” Kids are five hundred times more accepting than adults and it’s kinda sad.

so what color was your bike?