Bored To Death

Bored to Death Issue #005 Zine: http://www.mediafire.com/file/ubzr78g1t13h3jy/BoredtoDeathZine005.pdf

ADDRESS IS:

No Age live November 25th 2017

Freak Style x KXLU Presents a MEXICO EARTHQUAKE RELIEF SHOW @ Top Space 2.0 in South Central LA Sat 11/25

Adult Books live November 25th 2017

Freak Style x KXLU Presents a MEXICO EARTHQUAKE RELIEF SHOW @ Top Space 2.0 in South Central LA Sat 11/25

Traps PS live November 25th 2017 

Freak Style x KXLU Presents a MEXICO EARTHQUAKE RELIEF SHOW @ Top Space 2.0 in South Central LA Sat 11/25

11/25/2017 @ Top Space 2.0 DTLA Presented by Freak Style Booking & KXLU

No Age //

Adult Books //

Traps PS //

When you’re a stoner there’s nothing worse than seeing all those reports on the news about how the police are doing so well in raiding cannabis dispensaries. Well, there is something worse: when those raids have a direct knock on effect on your supply. You sit there cursing your bad luck and the fact that everything feels way too real and speedy. Then your friend puts you on to a really handy delivery service. They deliver direct to your door, and you don’t even need a doctor recommendation as long as you're over 21. Sweet. Problem solved, the only thing better than that would be if the pizza delivery guy delivered a baggie as a side dish. Discovering The Myrrors is a little like finding the number for the aforementioned delivery service in your back pocket after all your other avenues of tripped out stoner rock have dried up. After all, there are only so many times you can listen to Destruction Unit. So as you may have guessed The Myrrors are, without a doubt, one of the best modern psych bands to listen to when you're seshing. Specifically, their limited edition cassette Archives Vol.1: Lunar Halo. Any doubt you may have had disappears after about two and half minutes of opening track Lunar Halo Pt.1 when an ambient sweep of noise gives way to the sound of a drum kit falling down some stairs before it settles down into an assured solid beat that leaves you little option but to embrace it. Great fat grooves are everywhere on this cassette, as are breeze block heavy guitars that drop ten tabs of acid, steal a toke off The Doobie Brothers and head off to flirt with Black Sabbath and Hendrix. The result is a release that is easy to get lost in as it weaves its hypnotic spell. Archives Vol.1: Lunar Halo is limited to only 10 copies and is only available at shows and their bandcamp (pre-orders are set to ship out December 1st). These tunes sound current and of a different age simultaneously. Those unfamiliar with the band will find this as good a starting point as any of The Myrrors previous releases, while those affected by police raids and the lack of any illicit party materials will find the album a reasonable replacement for stoned kicks until the weed delivery guy arrives.

Los Angeles, make sure to catch them at the Moroccan Lounge Monday November 20th put together by the wonderful people at Dirty Laundry TV. RSVP HERE.

Stream and purchase their music HERE.

releases December 1, 2017

OK. So, this happened about 6 years ago when I scored 60mL of oral solution morphine sulfate. I began plugging because after doing some research I find out that it is not recommended to shoot up the oral solution I came up on and actually taking it orally just didn’t do it for me. That being said, I'm not ashamed to say I've plugged. When it comes down to social stigma / your own hang-ups vs. better bio-availability - getting more out of my drugs wins every time.

I’ve only told this story once, at a party, and I don't think anyone believed me when i told it to them but, whatever, it happened. Letting you know now, it's a little graphic. So yea... I would go about my usual plugging of oral solution morphine sulfate. I take the solution that I scored, I measure some out, mix it up real well with hot water, then I shove this ear flushing device (I lost the oral syringe it came with..) up my ass and blast a warm morphine enema into my rectum. 

Usually it works real nicely; I get a good blast, feel fucked up and like I violated myself. But lately the morphine enema's have been hurting going in because of the fissures that have formed in my rectum from chronic constipation (horrible diet and lot’s of opiates). I was on day 3 of feeling like I was getting butt fucked by a scapulae.

So, just to clarify, my ass was all kinds of fucked up and all and all I’m just not looking / feeling right. But is that going to stop me from the morphine enema?

OF COURSE NOT.

It will hurt yes, but then I’m going to have 1mL of morphine being blasted into my spongy rectum, I'll get to feel my opiate "warm blanket", and the baby inside me will stop crying. 

So I shove it up there, and I want to shove it way up there this time to ensure I get the entire dose, so I shoooove it up there, and then I squeeze real hard on the bulb part, real hard, and as usual it doesn't shoot too well. My ass has been in rough shape, it looks like shit... But then I give it a good fist squeeze after getting a hold of it real well, and POP some water shoots in and oh no.

So does the top of the ear bulb piece...  I had covered it with lotion hoping it’d help my situation, but of course this works to my disadvantage. I put too much force on the bulb resulting in the whole plastic piece coming off. I couldn't feel the piece of bulb at all, all I felt was morphine water drooling down the back side of my taint and nuts. I didn’t get the shot inside me.

A bad booty bump...

So like I would do if I missed a vein, I try again. In this case I see a good deal of water in the bulb still and look behind me for the plastic piece, because I didn't stop to think that

"hey that thing actually went up my butt".

I just didn't feel it at all, I thought it had fallen off the bulb and was sitting in my boxers. I try to hurry this up as I realize I was taking longer than usual.

I look for this plastic piece and can't find it, it's not on the floor or in my boxers like it's supposed to be (little did I know, it was en route to my colon). I’m tearing apart my entire room, getting more and more frustrated, thinking it must have flown off my boxers when I got up quick and it must have fallen under the bed, behind the dresser on top of the dresser into my shoes into the vent etc. etc. Never does the thought cross my mind that this plastic piece could be IN MY ASS. So after searching and searching I give up, I grab the bulb and SHOVE it hard up my butt past the bleeding fissure wounds and squeeze nice and hard, and the rest of the morphine shot goes into my rectum.

Ahhhhhhh, it's done.

But no the ahh doesn't last nearly as long.

I still had no idea where the fuck the plastic piece was?????

Where could it be? did my dog eat it? Did it get caught behind the pictures? (check all the pictures. one falls and front glass piece shatters, cut myself while putting it back together...errr) and then about an hour later in a blink of a thought - 

Duh it's in my ass. Yes, it's in my ass, only until I start to feel very uncomfortable down there, like a stomach ache only different, like obstruction different. Huh… no way… it couldn’t be. I don't feel that much pain, at least not enough that a plastic piece was in my rectum scraping the sides. So I do my research, learn all about how there aren't any pain receptors in your colon so you could have a knife up there and it could be slicing and dicing you up and you're not going to feel it until it cuts through your colon and blood starts seeping into your stomach and other organs. I start freaking out, I start feeling sick. I puke. I feel , real nauseous, and I start thinking about how embarrassing it would be to go to the ER, and have this bulb piece be surgically removed from my ass and how it would be easy to figure out what I was doing.. and all the trouble and all the problems… Shit. I’ve got to get this thing out of my ass now. I press around on my abdomen and I swear, there it was, I could feel it on my lower left hand side of my stomach, this solid piece that is in there that I can rub. It's about 5 inches above the top of my thigh. I wonder if this is really it, I still wonder if it was, it felt like it… but does the colon go from the back towards the front or does it just stay in the back? I'm not sure. I sit all funny trying to get the plastic piece to go down my distending colon and then my rectum where I would feel it, then I would do little baby squeezes until the little guy would come out. No problem. I think about posting on Bluelight about my ordeal for some advice, but then thought about the pages of replies;

"hey dumbfuck, we're not doctors! you could puncture your colon and internally bleed and vomit up your intestines! You're going to die dude.. GO TO THE ER NOW!!" I eat a bunch of food, I mean a bunch, and just thought fuck it i'll take my chances at having it get pushed out?.. I go to work and put up with the discomfort and come home, try to take a shit and I can't. Which isn't a big surprise i'm usually so constipated from the opiates that I shit a brick (that really does look red) about once a month and that's all. So I wait through the next day and start feeling stomach pains and am getting freaked out and wondering if I should just get to the ER. I decide to take some laxatives and finally that night got to go to the bathroom. After a long waterfall of watery shit I feel something actually solid going along for the ride and then

POP

Just like it came in it comes out, and drops into the toilet. Bliss... I thought it was a guarantee I'd get fecal obstruction, literally.