Itâs 4 am and Iâm still tossing and turning on my bed. Finding the right position to give me even just a minute of slumber. I already counted 514 sheep but sleep doesnât come to me. Iâm looking for a thousand ways to calm my thoughts but I couldnât grasp any. I got my phone and reread the last conversation I had with Jooheon.
Joohoney: I donât think this will ever work. Iâm sorry
I stared blankly at my phone. Trying to process everything. Did he just dump me over a text? I canât believe my eyes. The tears already dried up since I was crying for like 6 hours already. Is he drunk? Maybe he is. Heâll never do this to me.
My eyes grew heavy and sleep finally found its way on me when I suddenly heard a light knock on my door. I covered my head since Iâm pretty sure I look like a mess.
âHey sleepy head.â I heard Hyungwonâs happy foot steps as he came towards me. Heâs in a good mood.
âHey.â I answered back without removing the covers.
âSomethingâs wrong.â He declared. He didnât even ask. He knows me too well and even if he doesnât see me, Iâm pretty sure he knows. Heâs my best friend. I handed him my phone. I heard him cursed and he slowly enveloped me in a tight hug. He removed the blanket covering me and brushed the hair thatâs all over my face. He stared at me, intently.
âCoffee?â he asked and I started bawling my eyes out again. I cried as he held me and he patted my back. We went into the kitchen and he prepared my breakfast. Heâs clumsy but the effort made me smile. Minhyuk woke up and saw my puffy eyes and looked at Hyungwon and then me.
âWhat?!â asked Minhyuk
âWait what? Are we talking about Jooheon? The Jooheon who canât get his eyes off of y/nâ Hyungwon nodded and proceeded to preparing my meal.
I pretended not to hear. I was already thinking of some sort of a wicked revenge that I can plan so Jooheon will suffer as well but I donât think I can cause my heart somewhat agrees with him. I donât think it will work between us. 3 weeks on the line and we are already bickering and blaming each other for petty things. But the boy is good and Iâm crying because he is a really good catch. Heâs like a baby sometimes but within the three weeks that we are together, I felt really special because thatâs how he treats me.
This day is a day I dread the most. Itâs time to face Jooheon after that one liner break up text that he sent me. I was not up to it. I was straight out declining Wonho for the invite but he insisted. He doesnât know. I tried to pretend that I was sick but Wonho didnât buy any of my excuses. So here I am, staring blankly in space and trying to calm myself before Jooheon comes.
âHello.â I heard from my back. Everyone stood up and greeted the person that just came. He seated beside me and nudge my shoulders. He flashed me his dimple smile and looked at me straight in the eye. My stomach turned and butterflies danced inside. I still like him, I thought almost loudly and I covered my mouth with my hand because I was about to blurt it out.
I acknowledged him by nodding and smiling a little. Everyone was enjoying at their feet and here I am drinking my not so cold drink trying to process what had just happened. Hyungwon silently approached me and offered his hand.
âLetâs dance?â he asked shyly.
âYes Iâm fine. Donât mind me and just enjoy. Iâm really enjoying here by myself. With my iced tea.â I grin, trying to reassure him. He gave up and made his way to the DJ booth.
âWhy are you alone?â his familiar voice sent shivers on my back. He held my hand and squeezed it. I brushed him off and ignored him
âIâm sorry.â He uttered.
âCan we talk?â I gathered my courage to say this to him.
I saw Hyungwon and he asked me if I need back up through his eyes. I snorted a little and shook my head. âI can manage.â I mouthed.
We reached the park and I sat on the swing. Joo pushed me lightly before going on the swing next to me. I removed my shoes and played with the sand on my feet. After a long silence he finally said something.
Joo: I really am sorry. I shouldnât have done that.
Joo: Breaking up over text. I shouldâve said it in person.
I felt a pang in my heart.
Joo: You are an amazing person Y/N but I donât think it will work between us. Look around. I know you canât see it now but try to look. Youâll find your way.
Y/N: Iâm confused. Do you have somebody else?
Joo: What? NO! Iâll never do that to you.
Y/N: Did you even like me?
Joo: Of course! But I think itâs you who like someone else.
He uttered this as if he was whispering but I heard him clearly. I can see the disappointment in his eyes when I didnât contradict him. He became silent so did I. I still donât understand why we are breaking up but I held my hand in front of him.
âI donât want to be awkward or anything but can we be friends?â
âSure!â Joo said a little too enthusiastically. And I laughed at him. He pulled me towards him and gave me the tightest hug. He kissed my cheek and he apologized again. My face flushed at his sudden move but I laughed as well. As I turned around Joo held my arm and said âLet me just confirm something.â I looked at him confused as he inched his face towards mine. I was in an utter shock and couldnât move but he just smiled and squeezed my cheek. âCONFIRMED.â He said. âWHAT?!â I asked. âAre you messing with me?â He shrugged and just laughed and guided me back at the bar. From a distance, I saw Hyungwon making his way back to the bar as well. I was looking for Hyungwon and Minhyuk but I only saw the latter. He was so wasted that I had to carry him to my car and this is what I hate about not being able to drink. I was always the one to carry them even if I was the girl. I canât seem to find Hyungwon. I called him to no avail. I was waiting for him as I start the engine when I received a text.
âHyungwonâs fine. You can go.â I received from an unknown number. I called the number and a girl answered.
âWell who is this?â I asked angrily. I was surprised at myself.
âThis is Tina. And Hyungwonâs with me. He told me you can go home. Heâll be home tomorrow morning.â She said enthusiastically. My mouth dropped because Hyungwon never did this. Did he just?... I brushed the thought off my mind and I drove back to our place. I carried the almost limp body of Minhyuk and guided him to the door. I sat him on the porch and let the cool breeze envelope him. He was laughing.
âHeâs really drunk.â I uttered shaking my head laughing. My mind went back to Hyungwon and Tina. What the hell are they doing? I collected my thoughts and opened the door. I dumped Min on his bed and removed his shoes. This guy is a handful. I donât know what will happen to his girlfriend if he had any.
I finished preparing for a good long sleep when my phone buzzed.
HW: I see you made up with Jooheon?
HW: Somewhere. Iâll be back tom đ
Y/N: Pls take care. Donât do sth that uâll regret
My eyes started to drift off and as I opened them itâs already 10am. I rushed to Hyungwonâs room but he was not still there. Iâm starting to worry, a little too much for a best friend. I tried to calm myself and prepare our breakfast. I woke Min up so he can take his hangover soup.
âYou the best,â he said as he pinched my nose.
âWhereâs Hyungwon?â he asked.
âI dunno. He was with some girl. He didnât go home yesterday.â
âReally?! I never knew Hyungwonâs a little sly.â He said laughing. His comment made me sick. I heard the door being opened and Hyungwon walked in. I tried to be less angry but I couldnât hide it. I ignored him as he made his way towards his room.
âMaybe heâs tired.â Min said wriggling his eyebrows. âTired of what?â I asked annoyed. He laughed at my innocence. âY/N you really need to go out and discover the world.â He said. Hyungwon didnât go out of his room until dinner time.
âYou hungry?â I asked him coldly.
âEatâ I said as I gave him a plate. I was too immersed at my annoyance with him that I almost threw the chopsticks at him. He looked at me bewildered.
âYou okay?â he asked but I ignored him as I made my way to the living room. What is even wrong with me? He went out with some girl last night and that does not concern me. He can do that. What is this anger that I feel?
Hyungwon and I werenât in good terms since that day at the bar. He didnât talk to me and I didnât as well. I wasnât sure what was happening but I will not be the first one to ask him.
I was sitting alone hearing everybodyâs stories when Jooheon approached me.
âWhereâs Hyungwon?â he asked.
I pointed towards Tina who is happily chatting with Hyungwon a little too close.
âI see you havenât sorted it out?â Jooheon asked.
âWhat?â I asked bewildered.
âWell all of us know except you two.â Minhyuk chirped from the distance and approached us.
âIs that why?â he asked Jooheon and he gave Minhyuk a slight nod.
âDo you still like her?â Minhyuk asked Joo. I punched Minâs arms because I was getting uncomfortable. Min laughed and Joo chimed in.
âLetâs go.â Joo said pulling me and made his way towards the exit.
âWhere are we going?â I asked.
âTrust me. I need to do this for you.â He said.
He cornered me in some dark alley and stared at me intently. He was staring at me a little too long that I was getting uncomfortable.
âWhat is this about Joo? This is not like you.â I sniffed him. âYouâre not even drunkâ I said a little afraid because weâre in the dark. I was about to shove him off when a hand was suddenly on his shoulders. He smirked and he whispered âFinally.â A punch landed on Jooheonâs face, once then twice. Oddly, Jooâs not fighting back. As soon as I saw the blood dripping out of Jooâs nose, I stood between them. Hyungwon almost punched me and he immediately retreated when he saw my ghostly blank face.
âWhat are you doing? Are you insane?â I shouted at Hyungwon. He stared at me apologetically. And he made a bee line towards the bar. Joo told me to follow him and I did after I checked on him. Jooheon was laughing.
âYou know, this is the right time.â
âIâm confused Joo. I donât know what youâre talking about.â
âYouâll be able to if you follow himâ he said.
I caught Hyungwonâs arms and squeezed it hard.
âLetâs talk.â I pleaded. He wasnât moving an inch so I dragged him to the park.
âSit down.â I told him. He complied. He was silent.
âWhatâs happening Hyungwon?â I donât understand any of these. All I know is you stopped talking to me. And what was that back there?â I cried almost instantly. I was angrily wiping my tears when Hyungwon stood up and kneeled in front of me. He gently wiped my tears and looked at me with worry.
âIâm sorry. I was blinded by anger. I thought he was doing something that you didnât like. I guess I was wrongâ He uttered nonchalantly.
âWell, for one, I donât understand what Jooheon did but you donât have the right to do that. It didnât even concern you.â I blurted out but I regretted it as soon as I saw the hurt on his face. He was silent and angry, I guess?
âWhat about her?â he chirped.
âAre you going out with her?â
âthat night at the bar, when you didnât come homeâŚâ my voice trailed off. I didnât want to hear his answer. âYou know what, never mind. I donât wanna hear about it.â I said. He smiled at me accusingly. âYou are jealous. Is that why you didnât talk to me?â He said confidently.
âWhat? Never!â he was laughing hysterically now.
âI wasnât with her that night. I asked her a favor and told her to text you. I just did that because I saw you and Jooheon made up. I thought you were back together. I was so jealous thatâŚâ he stopped as he realized what he said. I blushed and looked away. He was jealous?
A long silence followed that confession. We were looking anywhere but each other. And then he confidently held my face in his palm and brushed my hair backwards with his other. He stroke my face with his thumb and it reached my lips. I noticed that he was staring at my lips and I unknowingly covered them with my hands. He laughed and removed them from my face. He put his lips on mine. His lips were so soft and they taste like mint. He parted his lips and playfully bit mine. I punched his shoulders and he let out a loud cry. We were laughing and crying and that was the moment when I found the answers to all the questions I had in mind. The question that all of my friends know the answer to. I am in love with my best friend.