⚘. LYRICS FROM NOAH KAHAN'S ALBUM THE GREAT DIVIDE. CONTENT WARNING: ALCOHOLISM, DEPRESSION, CHILDHOOD TRAUMA, ABANDONMENT, SELF-SABOTAGE, LONELINESS.
i can't recall the last time that we talked.
we got cigarette burns in the same side of our hands, we ain't friends. we're just morons who broke skin in the same spot.
i've never seen you take a turn that wide, and i'm high enough to still care if i die.
so i tried to read the thoughts that you'd worked overtime to stop.
you know, i think about you all the time, and my deep misunderstanding of your life. how bad it must have been for you back then, and how hard it was to keep it all inside.
i hope you settle down, i hope you marry rich.
i hope you're scared of only ordinary shit.
i heard nothing but the bass in every ballad that you'd play.
the world is scared of hesitating things.
i'm finally aware of how shitty and unfair it was to stare ahead like everything was fine.
did you wish that i could know that you'd fade to some place i wasn't brave enough to go?
i hope you threw a brick right into that stained glass.
i hope you're with someone who isn't scared to ask.
i hope that you're not losing sleep about what's next.
i stretched my arms real wide, tried to break your fall...
you got up, mad as hell, and told me that i had it all.
i tried to heal your wounds just to say i helped.
it ain't a high road now, it's just uneven ground.
you ain't a goddamn hero now 'cause you cry on live TV.
at least i got a soul still, even if i'm in a bad place.
i'm happy for your haircut, i'm glad you got your act clean.
you're showin' up like bad news and leavin' like a bad dream.
help me if it helps you sleep.
you grew your hair out long, now you think you're jesus christ.
there ain't nobody mistakin' your guilt for some great sacrifice.
drove your ass home. you walked into a haunted house and got angry at the ghosts.
oh, when my weight left the room, did you take a deep breath?
i stole a beer, drove home; there was only one left.
when i make my flight, i'm the devil, but when i stay the night, then we drink.
we stay up and fight 'bout the childhood lie that we both had the courage to leave.
i'm willing and able. if you wanna kick this rock around, if you've got a bone to pick with me, if you've got a flag, plant it in the ground.
i'll stay here 'til mornin'. we can fight like we used to fight.
look at you leavin' again; it's all you know how to do.
go ahead, take the last of the drinks; the world belongs to you.
they all say you're a light; all i see is a shadow.
'cause if i call you out, i'm an asshole.
i tell the truth when i drink.
so come home; let's fight 'bout the childhood lie.
we don't care what the other one thinks.
i wish you could know me, and i wish i could know you much more sometimes...
wish i could do nothin' with you. sit in the yard while the day dies.
leave it all on the table.
i'll say, "i love you," and mean it this time. say, "i'm sorry,” for everything else, if we found a way to the other side.
if you're willing, i'm able.
you always went lookin' for an easy way out.
and you tell yourself lies and disguise them as facts.
just when you think that the road's straight ahead is when the devil shows up on your dashboard again.
all your new friends look a lot likе your last, i wonder why.
it ain't our fault that you aren't suddenly somebody else.
you're an asshole after all.
half as drunk as i thought i'd be by now, that's good.
i can still see the people around me change shape. speak their minds and pretend they were misunderstood.
preachin' 'bout sin over lines of cocaine.
even when you're not here, it becomes about you.
they all want me to tell 'em your story.
you stand over half a foot taller than me.
naïve to believe you would come back.
stay gone. won't you stay gone?
tattooed your initials into my right arm.
there ain't nothing else here worth catching up on.
so, i hope that it's warm wherever you sleep.
i've got a feeling that won't go away.
i still ball up my fists when they mention your name.
no one gets to talk shit but the ones you've shit on.
well, i'll beat your ass in the morning.
you know i've been running all this time.
'cause if i never see you again, you could be anything i want.
i would ask you how you've been, it's all over the internet.
but, hey, i mean, you knew that after all.
if you're looking for an autopsy or a half-assed half-apology then i think you picked the wrong time to make this call.
it is not irrelevant that you stopped taking your medicine but i'm giving you the benefit 'cause it's raining out.
i'll tell you how the weather is.
but it's cold, and it's cold, and it's cold, and it's cold, and it’s cold.
i don't know, i'm alone, i'm alone, i'm alone, i'm alone.
i hope you tell me that you're winding down, that you lost thе taste to face the crowd, that whatever made you famous made you sick.
you can only do what pain allows.
it ain't up to you to make it out.
there ain't no shame in callin' this thing quits.
you're a ghost, you're a ghost, you're a ghost, and you're—
poison spreading to my lungs.
i ain't holdin' breath, ain't holdin' any faith at all.
and i'll pray for you, be in pain for you.
i'll leave the porch light on.
heartbroken, each morning when it's me that turns it off.
i try to drown out all the talk, the eyeballs in the parking lot.
i wanna drop the gloves, but you're far too patient.
i wanna see you lose it, i wanna hear you say it.
do you still have a heart or has somebody stole it?
i'm far too tired to watch you lie, so let's just watch TV.
another thing we don't talk about anymore.
don't worry, i won't bring it up.
you can scream at me when i come home drunk.
when i ask about the past, you deny-ny-ny.
we're both exhausted for different reasons.
i used to care to know your secrets.
you said you got a guilty conscience, but i ain't ever seen it.
i'm well-prepared to never meet him.