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dean winchester, glistening and naked, bouncing on a vibrator that plays british male pop music against his rock solid weenie:
castiel, taking a vow of celibacy as he's pinching dean's balls 'in a mean way, like you want to divorce me but haven't found the courage yet so you hurt me to take out the frustration instead' like dean requested:
harry styles, contractually obligated to watch any man fuck the vibrator he released, quietly singing watermelon sugar high to the tune of the vibrator:
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God I just wanna hug Sam and tell him he’s always been a good person.
That he doesn’t have to cut people off when they’re apologizing to him—brushing it aside like it’s nothing. He doesn’t have to follow it up with some self-deprecating comment. How he’s done much worse, it’s okay. That he doesn’t always have to compliment the person right after. It’s not his job to empathize with the people who hurt him. He doesn’t need to compare the things that has been done to him to the amount of sins he thinks he has.
It’s valid to expect people to be better and learn from their mistakes. That he can apply the same standards he sets for himself to the people in his life.
He doesn’t always have to lift people up. It’s okay to accept their affirmations. Hear them say what they really think of him. Give him the confidence to hear all of it without adding something to undermine himself.
I need Sam to understand that it’s okay to feel angry and betrayed. It’s even fine to feel it for a long time. Really give himself the time to process it all. That it’s okay to recognize what’s been done to him. To remember things as they really were, no matter how hard it is to see them for what they really are. And I want him to believe me when I say what an amazing person he is for remaining kind and compassionate after all of it.
I want him to know how strong he is. But I also want to let him know he’s allowed to feel tired and afraid. He can panic. That he’s allowed to just feel—to even show people this side of him. Because it’s not always his job to be the levelheaded one.
I want to tell him he’s a good person, repeatedly.
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☁︎ Parings: Castiel x GN!Reader (romantic), Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Crowley MacLeod x GN!Reader (platonic)
☁︎ Summary: Cas is happy to sit in you're lap, you're happy to have him there, Dean isn't, Sam and Crowley find it far too hilarious and one poor waitress judges too soon and regrets it.
☁︎ Warnings: comedy, fluff, suggestive, swearing, friends to lovers vibes with Cas - possible establish relationship - title refers to the term "lap cat" in case that wasn't clear, could be read as Cat!Cas if you wanted to but nothing specific about that
☁︎ Word Count: 1.2k
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Sam and Dean took the red, latex, probably-had-unimagineable-things-cleaned-off-it seat on one side of the booth while you slid into the other. You motioned for Cas to take the spot next to you, until the grand supreme bitch just had to butt in.
"Well that's all well and good for you lot" Crowley started "But where will I sit? The table?"
"Oh for fuck's sake" You muttered, bringing him along on this family fun time road trip or whatever the fuck was going on here was bad enough, but he had to find an issue with every little thing.
You rolled your eyes, grabbing Cas' hand and dragging him over to you "C'mere Angel"
He was practically gliding in, surprisingly easily finding a place in your lap.
In your lap.
In your lap.
In your lap?
Cas was in your lap. Hm.
He found no issue with it, happy actually, that you wanted him that close, that you pulled him towards you. You were happy too, he was surprisingly light, must be an Angel thing, you thought.
Dean was not happy.
"H- wai- hold on" He stuttered, like he'd just seen the world unravel, and not his best friend sitting in his other best friend's lap "What the fuck?!"
"Hm?"
"Wh- you can't just- you can't do that!"
"Why not?" Cas frowned, adorably.
"Because- you just- you can't!"
"No Dean, tell him why" Sam nudged, suppressing a laugh.
"Not helping Sammy!" He whisper yelled back.
"Go on Squirrel, this should be fun" You hadn't noticed Crowley take up the spot beside you and Cas, but there he sat, kicking back to enjoy the show.
"Because. Cas is- he's a guy! Guys don't sit in people's laps" Dean crossed his arms, pouting like a 4 year old, as per usual.
"I mean if you wanna go there, Cas isn't a guy" You chimmed in, chin on his shoulder.
"What? I-I don't get it. If he's not a guy, he's the butchest woman I ever seen. Butcher than Rosie, damn" He mutter the last part, immedate thoughts verbalized.
"I didn't say Cas was a woman either"
"Wh- I don't get it"
"You want to or should I?" You asked the Angel, hand squeezing his side gently.
"I will" He turned back to face Dean, subconsciously pressing back into you just a little, close as he can be "My vessel, Jimmy Novak, is a man, so that is how I appear. My last vessel was a woman, I have no control or preference. Angels inherently do not have genders, we just are"
"Right. So wait- does that mean when I called Uriel 'Junkless', I was right?"
"Oh my god, that's what you're getting from this?" Sam turned to his brother, dumbfounded.
You rolled your eyes once more and Crowley wondered if they might get stuck there, he'd make a joke about that but this conversation was far too entertaining to interrupt.
"The point is, shut the fuck up and order a milkshake and a burger, Scooby-Doo" You snarked, arms encircling Cas' waist.
"So let me get this straight-" Dean started, you grabbed Crowley's knee before he could make the joke you were both thinking of "Just 'cause Cas is an Angel, he can give lap dances to whoever he wants?"
"Dean, you should know better than anyone that this is not a lap dance, though I wouldn't turn one down"
"You what?"
"Shut up and eat" You mumbled, attention fully on Cas as somehow, angelically or whatever, you could hear him ask you what a lap dance involved. This was a crucial moment.
The waitress came to take your order - goddamnit.
She took one look at you and Cas and stared at her notepad "What um, what can I get ya?"
"How abou-" Dean started to eye her up and down before you stopped him.
"May I?" You asked, never having any intention of taking 'no' for an answer.
You looked up at her, making strong eye contact as your hands drifted up and down Cas' sides, silently saying "Fuck you we're not moving"
"Hi" You used your best customer service voice, fake smile and all "Can we please get a ceaser salad and a glass of bottled water, not tap, with a few but not too many ice cubes for the the giant across from me, a strawberry milkshake with extra pink food dye to make it look like something straight outta a 70s cartoon and a double bacon cheeseburger with extra bacon, extra cheese and no pickles for the bisexual disaster next to him, with a side of your phone number if you have daddy issues and loose morals, a scotch for this bitch" You nodded towards Crowley "And chamomile tea with a drizzle of honey for my cutie pie" You squeezed Cas' waist, pressing your cheek to his shoulder, all with the fakest smile you could muster.
"Uhm, w-we don't- we don't sell alcohol"
"Find some"
She practically fled the scene, hoping not to be eaten alive by you purely from the look in your eyes.
You shifted your attention back to your table, resting your chin on Castiel's shoulder once more, quiet, comfortable.
"What the fuck was that?" Dean asked, voice barely audible.
"What? I know you bitches. If Charlie was here she'd get loaded fries and either a coke or a chocolate or caramel milkshake. Kevin would get waffles and a strawberry milkshake or the most disgustingly sweet soda you can imagine, Bobby'd get a burger, plain and simple, Ellen would get the same, maybe a coffee too, Jo would get your exact order purely for that reason and Ash would probably go for something from the all day breakfast menu, I'm thinking eggs Benedict, though he is a hard one to pick"
"That's just plain scary"
"Hm, and to think, this is only your roadside diner order. I know a lot of other shit too"
"Oh yeah? Like what?"
"Rhonda-"
"Oh! Food's here!"
"No it's not"
"Yeah anyways-"
"De-"
"Hey, how come you didn't get anything to eat?"
"Why would I need food when I've got this tasty dish right in front of me, hm?" You placed a quick kiss against Cas' coat.
He leaned back just a little, tone slightly worried "Please don't eat me"
"No, Cas, I-" You swallowed heavy, holding in a laugh, barely "'s just a- an expression. Means you're cute"
"Oh, thank you. You are…a buffet"
You let out a soft chuckle, breath fanning his neck before you place a tender, lingering kiss "Thank you Angel, but you're the restaurant"
"Okay" Sam clapped, desperate to change the subject before one of you was the farm the food was grown on or some other corny shit "So how's Hell Crowley? Hot?"
"Yes. It's Hell. Did you get hit on the head?"
"No. But you might"
"Ohhh" Dean muttered, causing everyone to give him a disapproving glare.
"How childish"
"I'm childish?! You threw a hissy fit on the way here because I wouldn't stop the car!"
"I felt sick!"
The argument continued as you glanced over, seeing the waitress ready with everyone's food but too scared to approach. You couldn't really blame her.
General Supernatural Taglist - 45 - more in reblogs!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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