not today, dad.

Twenty-one. Ciera is now officially twenty-one and so much has happened since her last birthday that she almost can’t believe it. She’s now engaged and a mother to a beautiful baby girl. She knows she’s still very young, but she couldn’t be happier.

Leo looked down. “I’m not the best person to ask. They don’t want me to be here either,” he said in a small voice.

‘Oh, honey. You know that’s not true at all.’ Blue signed, shoulders falling and offering Leo a hug. 

“I’d come to the infirmary and let you heal me.” Leo placed the cookies on the table before he sat down beside Blue. “Everyone knows it wasn’t you,” he said softly.

‘But that’s because you knew me before the takeover happened, Leo.’ Blue pointed out with a small frown on his face. ‘Yeah, but what about the new people? They already don’t want to be here and that happened.’

Leo put a hand on Blue’s shoulder. “Just give it time,” he said. Even if he was barely doing his advice.

‘What if I never manage to heal people again?’ Blue asked, looking scared just at the prospect of it. ‘I don’t want to go to the infirmary and scare people because they saw me hurt other people.’

Leo stiffened for a second before he reminded himself that he wasn’t possessed now. He had been avoiding any physical contact for days now, even with his sloth child Aleo. “You didn’t deserve that… We were all helpless against them,” he said, and that was what he had been trying to tell himself against the thoughts that said that if he just didn’t live before that day, he wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone again.

‘It’s hard to believe that I managed to hurt all of those people. I couldn’t stop them.’ Blue signed, before sinking on the bed. ‘I couldn’t even step into the infirmary without thinking that they didn’t want me there anymore. Who would even want a healer who hurt people?’

Leo would’ve wondered why anyone would attack Blue at all when the only reason he could think of was that it was the only way to stop him. He looked at Blue with the same sad expression, as if he was saying, me too, and that they both carried the burden of the sins their bodies had done to other people. He kept having nightmares, with him destroying beautiful things and hurting every living thing in his path, and for him it was exhausting that he barely fought them off, Leo keeping himself awake or just succumbing to endless sleep, wishing it would end. “I know,” he whispered.

‘I was hurting people instead of healing them and I couldn’t stop myself.’ Blue explained, before pushing down his sleeve rather angrily. He looked at Leo and reached out gently, kissing his cheek. ‘I’m sorry you had to go through that.’

“Were—” Leo cleared his throat. “Were you hurt?” he asked, his forehead creased from worry. “

Blue shook his head again, holding his hands up though they were shaking hard. He couldn’t even sign what he wanted to say, not knowing how to explain it. The healer just opted to push the sleeve of his sweater up and showed the cut that a camper had made during the takeover. 

Leo hesitantly took the jar, careful not to make any physical contact with the other. ’Thank you,’ Leo signed back before he walked over to a lamp and turned it on for Blue’s sake. ’Are you… alright?’

‘You can talk, if you want. It’s fine if you don’t sign.’ Blue blinked at the sudden brightness, looking at Leo. He smiled sadly and shook his head. ‘No, not really.’

It took Leo a second to understand what the older male signed to him since it has been a while since he last communicated in ASL. Leo and Blue talks verbally, but with the recent event in Camp, he supposed the other had been on the bad size as well. Without a word, Leo stayed in the shadow of the door as he pilled the door wider for Blue to come through.

‘Thank you.’ Blue signed, grabbing the jar again before entering the cabin. He looked around, trying to get used to the darkness before offering the jar to Leo. ‘I’m sorry, I just didn’t know what to do with the cookies. I figured you’d want them… I didn’t mean to bother you.’

Leo’s sloth child didn’t even stir from the knocks that followed. What in the hell? Leo was so envy that it made him sigh and walk to the door. The cabin was dark, most of the curtains left untouched and not pulled back, but Leo navigated the place easily, having been an occupant of the cabin for years. He could still feel a life force outside the door, so he opened it slightly, just enough for him to see who it was, the slit of light bursting almost blinding him.

Blue had to squint to see who had opened the door, before holding up the cookie jar that was full of freshly-baked cookies. He knew it was Leo, just by the color of his eyes. Putting the jar down, he started to sign. ‘Please let me in? I have cookies for you.’