McLovin

"Marc...can I ask you something?" You finally voice while you're washing up for bed. "Do...do you still love me?"

Your question is a knife twisting in his gut. He stops and stares at you in the mirror.

"Y-yes," he quickly stammers, before you think he paused for too long.

You swallow hard, nodding once. "You're so quiet lately."

He exhales shakily. "I'm sorry." He doesn't know what else to say.

You nod again, finishing up in the bathroom - the two of you staying silent until you climb into bed.

Marc dutifully reaches across you to make sure your phone is charging.

"Did you see your work uniform?" He asks.

You did. He always washes it for you.

"Are your feet cold? Want your socks?"

You sigh. Marc is so...helpful. He really is an angel. Yet somehow you still feel so distant from him sometimes.

Every time something gets challenging, deep, emotional, difficult - he's a statue. Or Steven shows up.

You reach for his hand. "Thank you...for everything you do for me. I love you so much."

The response is instant. His body, stiff and held back, softens as he crowds in beside you in bed - the shape of him molding to you perfectly.

Eyebrows pinched with worry relax as a shaky sigh passes his terse lips.

His nose sinks into the crook of your neck - strong arm winding around your torso. "Love you too."

"Thanks for saying it," you hum a quiet response, raking your fingers through his curls. "It means so much to me. You mean so much to me, Marc."

He smiles more the next day. You make a point to voice your appreciation for the lunch he puts in your hand, and tell him he looks good.

He nods out a quick, "thanks".

But right before you walk out the door, he clears his throat. "Have a good day. Love you."

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Marc Spector-Centric stories

Moon Knight Masterlist

Jake’s breathing was uneven, laboured, the smallest sound of discomfort between his lips, punctuating little whispers of words.

It took you a moment longer to realise he was still asleep. 

His speech made no sense, some of it garbled, others fragments of sentences in English, Spanish, and Ladino. 

The few words you could make out made your stomach twist. ‘No’, and ‘stop’, and ‘help’. 

You moved closer to him, turning to face him fully as you sat up and gently put your hand on his shoulder. 

He was warm to your touch, sweating and shaking. 

“Jake.”

His whimpering continued.

Now that your eyes had adjusted to the faint light you could see the frown on his face, how his eyebrows were pinched together.

“Jake.” You shook his shoulder ever so slightly, speaking louder this time. 

He didn’t stir. 

You swallowed and bit your lip. “Jake.” 

He flinched like he had been hit. But still did not wake. “Por favor… don’t… hurt…” the rest of the sentence was lost in another shuddered intake of breath. 

Panic started to twist in your stomach, the idea of him being under some curse, of him never being able to wake up started to take root in the back of your head. 

You shook his shoulder again. “Marc? Steven?” Hoping that the others could hear you and wake him themselves. 

But Jake flinched again. “No… hacerles daño… leave th… alone…”

You leaned close and cupped his face with your hands. So carefully, as if he were some small thing that would break between your fingers, you began to run your thumbs over his skin. Gentle circles along his cheeks before trailing upwards and tracing his eyebrows. 

You pressed lightly on his forehead, trying to massage the tension away. 

His breathing hitched, becoming a sigh. 

“Jake.” You pressed a kiss to his temple, your voice soft. “It’s time to wake up now.” 

He didn’t jolt awake, but it was sudden nonetheless. Asleep one second and not the next. He grabbed hold of your right arm instinctively, his fingers digging into your bicep, his stomach muscles clenching. 

You braced yourself, expecting him to roll you over and pin you down. A move you often practised while sparing. Sure that he would still be so caught up in the nightmare he would think he was in danger. 

Instead your name fell from his lips, panicked and small, before his eyes opened. 

“You were having a bad dream.” You gave him a weak smile, instinctively continuing to trace his features with your fingers. 

He stared up at you for a second before he nodded, closing his eyes and swallowing hard. There were tears at the edges of his long lashes. 

“Yeah.” 

There was a moment before you spoke again. “Are you okay?”

Jake shook his head, keeping his eyes closed. 

“That’s okay.” You press another kiss to his forehead. 

As you started to move back Jake’s grip on your arm tightened. “Stay.” He swallowed, his eyes still closed. “Please.”

“Of course.” You kissed his nose, and massaged his temples as he slowly wrapped both arms around you, urging you closer. His movements were sluggish, heavy, sleep trying its best to pull him back. 

You shifted a little, trying to move your legs from their awkward angle. 

Jake let out the smallest sound of distress that cut deep into your heart. 

“I’m staying,” you whispered, moving slowly, “I’m here.” 

He clung to you as you moved, hugging you against his chest until you ended up laying on top of him, like his own personal weighted blanket. 

His rapid heartbeat echoed through to your chest. Though it was slowing now, gradually becoming something closer to normal. 

“Are you comfortable?” You said quietly.

Jake hummed, his breathing peaceful but his arms still firmly holding you. 

Especially when it was dark with the sound of your soft breathing next to him. Rain and dark and not being alone.

It had been one of the things that had annoyed him about London, the idea of it at least. But it was pleasantly surprising when he realised that it didn’t actually rain that much in the city, not really. Despite how often its inhabitants seemed to talk about it.

More often than not it was that spitty rain anyway, the kind of stuff that felt like you’d been sprayed in the face with mist. It made everything damp and by default made 2 degrees celsius feel colder than 30 in fahrenheit, but other than that it was okay. Bearable. 

Not like tonight. 

Tonight it pelted down, the wind howling faintly. Tonight it reminded him too much of… well, things best left buried. 

He tried to focus on the sound of just your breathing instead. That gentle, even rhythm and was normally so soothing. Would usually drown everything else out. 

Don’t think of drown.

Don’t think of anything. 

Just breathing, your breathing. In and out. In and out. He tried to match it, held his breath until you breathed out. But no matter how he tried he kept slipping out of your rhythm. 

Marc turned onto his side, opening his eyes to look at you, your face faintly illuminated by the glow of this fish tank. He’d forgotten to turn the light off. 

Steven would tut and scoff at him in the morning. ‘How would you like to sleep with the top light on, hmm? It’s not good for them, buggers up their internal clocks and all that.’

He’d have to tell Steven that he didn’t think fish had internal clocks. 

Part of him wanted to get up, to turn the light off. And not just to avoid Steven’s disappointment, but because really he did feel kind of bad for the poor fish. 

Not tonight though, he couldn’t do it tonight. The thought of getting up, walking through the darkness of the flat despite the glow from the streetlights outside, with the sound of the rain. Dark, walking, rain. No, not tonight. 

The fish tank light stopped the complete darkness, the sound of it hummed lightly. Even if Marc couldn’t focus on it enough for it to completely block out the rain the absence of it would be worse. It would make the drip, drip, drip of the water going through the tank’s filter louder. The kind of sound that would give birth to stalagmites.

No, not tonight. He would say he forgot, apologise to Steven and the fish in the morning. 

He could put his headphones on, listen to something to try to drown out the rain-

Don’t think of drown.

But he didn’t remember where he put them, which left him with fumbling around in the dark to look or turning on a light. Both would wake you. And that wasn’t fair. 

You put up with so much and here he was, not even able to deal with the sound of the rain. 

Marc pushed gently at the head space, a nudge just to check if anyone else was awake. If Steven or Jake would like a go at trying to get the body to sleep. He could just… slink back and fade. It was always easier to nod off if he wasn’t fronting, just sort of sink-

Don’t think of sink. Don’t think of drown. Don’t think at all.

That, of course, never worked. 

You shifted in bed, sighing quietly. 

It hurt sometimes to think about how much he loved you. Early on he used to imagine you breaking up with him every night, not Jake or Steven, no you’d still be with them, just him. Ending it with him. 

It was like he had to. Repeatedly going over and over the way you’d tell him you didn’t want to be together romantically anymore. In any and all situations he could think of. 

The more he thought about it, he reasoned, the more he would get used to the idea. Grow calluses over the hurt, so when it happened he wouldn’t cause too much of a fuss. Wouldn’t make it awkward for you or Steven or Jake. 

It never worked like that, of course. His thoughts very rarely did what he wanted, preferring to run among and spread all over the place like ink in water. Clouding everything to madness. 

Everytime he imagined it, the words you’d say, whether you’d speak them calmly or in a rage, coldly or with kindness, it didn’t matter. Just thinking about it always made him cry. Made his throat ache and skin hot. 

It got so bad once that Steven had jumped to the front, confused and worried at the tears on their face, at why their hands were pulling fistfuls of their hair. At why they were sitting curled up on the bathroom floor. 

Marc had bullshited something, he couldn’t remember what. Steven hadn’t believed him, Marc knew that for sure, but he hadn’t pressed him further either. It wasn’t surprising, Steven was far too smart to swallow whatever nonsense had been thrown at him. The opposite of  hook, line and sinker. Sinker. Water. Rain. Sinker. Sink. Drown.

Don’t think of sinker. Don’t think of sink. Don’t think of drown.

Of course you’d stay with Steven and Jake. How could you not? 

He’d seen the way Jake made you laugh, so loud that it reverated in your chest, so hard that you almost couldn’t breathe, so constantly that you’d beg him to stop, just for a moment so that you could compose yourself. You’d never give that up.

He knew the way you talked with Steven, both of you speaking so fast that it made Marc’s head spin, so excitedly and animatedly, not even needing to finish a sentence before starting the next one because you were both so in sync. You’d never let that go. 

What did he have to offer? 

Except for being scared of the rain. Too afraid to turn off the fish tank light. Too pathetic to even deal with the idea of not being with you. 

He really should just-

“Marc?” You turned, your voice filled with sleep as you reached out for him. You grabbed his shoulder and squeezed.

He swallowed, “yeah baby?” He sounded stuffy, almost like he’d been crying. Thankfully, you weren't quite awake enough to notice. 

You sighed, relief flooding your veins and shuffled closer to him, quickly embracing him and hugging him tight. 

“I had a bad dream.” You mutter against him, pressing your face into his chest. 

“Baby,” he squeezes you back and places a soft kiss on your temple. “It’s okay, don’t worry. You’re alright.”

“Dreamt I couldn’t find you.”

“Couldn’t find me?”

You nod. “I kept shouting ‘Marc’, kept calling for you, but you weren’t there.”

Something sharp digs into his chest, spearing his heart clean through the middle. “Shouting for me?” He whispers.

You nod and stiff, shaking a little. There’s wetness on his bare chest. 

“Hey, baby, hey,” he gently pulls you back and lifts up your face, cradling your cheeks in his warm, safe hands. “It’s okay.” He kisses lightly just under your eyes, presses his lips to your tears, “I’m right here, don’t worry. Not going anywhere.”

You nod, still sleepy and kiss his lips. “Love you.”

“I love you baby, here.” Marc readjusts his position so that you can lay your head fully on the pillow and he can wrap both arms around you, softly rubbing your back as you snuggle into his warmth. 

You both fall asleep at the same time. 

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If he had been back in his own flat, and not your home, he wasn’t sure if he would have been able to find the strength to take them off. 

You smile at him, putting your laptop down. “You okay?” 

He rolled his neck dramatically and looked at you, pouting. “No.”

Your smile widens, he knew he was being cute on purpose. “Aww, why?” 

“Customers.” 

“That bad?”

He hums and then shakes his head. “Not… bad, just.” He shrugs.

“You’ve had enough of them today.”

Jake nods and rubs his eyes. “Yeah.” 

“Awww, poor Jakey.” You lean forward, taking hold of his cheeks and kissing all over his face. 

He giggles and playfully swats you away so that he can kiss you properly. You relent and sigh happily. 

“Here.” You pull him gently as you settle back down into your seat, encouraging him to rest on you and wrapping your arms around him. 

You kiss his temple and take off his cap before gently taking his hands and pulling off his gloves with care before laying all three items on the arm rest beside you. He watches you the whole time silently, his eyes filled with adoration.

“So who was the most annoying fare today?” You ask softly. 

“Well, no real outstanding assholes, it wasn’t like that guy who asked me to wait and then took nearly fifty minutes and tried to get into a different cab and avoid paying the waiting time. Just everyone was so…” He pulls a face. “One was insistent that I took Mayfield Road.”

“Mayfield Road?” You said surprised.

“Mayfield Road, in rush hour.”

“What the hell?” 

“He said ‘it’s the fastest way,’” Jake put on a mock voice. 

“Yeah, maybe 50 years ago, or if there were no other cars on the road.” 

He nodded. “Exactly. That’s what I told him. Such a dickhead. And this one lady, she started to paint her nails in the back?” 

You laugh in shock. “What the fuck?” 

“Exactly.” Jake tuts. “I told her to stop, or I’d throw her out and charge her, well at first I asked nicely.” 

“Did she stop?” 

“Eventually.” 

“Arsehole.”

Jake nods sleepily, nuzzling closer to your chest. “I don’t think I’d care, but the smell in the enclosed space, you know?” He closes his eyes.

You stroke his hair softly. “Yeah, it’s not very considerate, plus she could have made a mess on the upholstery.”

He shrugs, starting to doze.

You smile at him, the frustration line easing out of his forehead as he relaxed. 

“I charged her extra though.” He murmurs.

“Yeah?” You smile. 

“Yeah.” 

He drops off to sleep quickly, breathing gently and evenly. 

After a few minutes you move slightly and grab your laptop so that you can carry on working, one hand typing, the other holding him close. 

He wakes with a gulp after nearly 50 minutes, moving his head up, confused. Before resting back down against you. 

“Oh, sorry, were you with Steven or Marc?” He mutters, his voice still full of sleep. 

You smile at him and kiss the top of his hair. “Neither, I was with you.”

Your grin wider when he stares up at you confused. “You fell asleep, you're still in your coat.”

“Oh…” He looks down at himself as if he was only just realising. “Sorry.”

You chuckle kindly, “what are you sorry for?”

He gestures with his chin to the laptop. “You’re working.” 

You tut and kiss him warm lips. “You’re more important, silly. You fell asleep while ranting. It was actually really cute.” 

Jake smiles, one of his little heartfelt expressions that light up his entire face. Then he makes an over the top kissy face until you laugh and lean down so he can press his lips to yours again. 

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