deactivated.

3% human 97% stress

You can probably tell which family member is coming upstairs by their step pattern but wouldn’t be able to pick out your own

If my own footsteps were coming down the hall towards me I reckon I would have bigger problems on my hands…

So my neighbor was out camping and met Keanu Reeves who was also camping (I guess he likes dogs because he came up and said “I love these dogs!” about her rottweiler) and she said she thought she was crazy for a minute because no one else knew he was there and it turns out Keanu was just there chilling with a one-man tent and a cooler and his little Dodge car and every time someone looked at him he’d just turn his face away and it’s kind of just solidified in my mind that Keanu Reeves is a cryptid.

you just

You never know if today is gonna be the day that they’re gonna throw it back to you

to catch a bus you have to think like a bus

bro, i dont even care anymore. fuck it! *continues to try very hard*

this is the best most pastoral and engaging pic ever i just want to be their friend

like this post if that you worked at Starbucks and Jared Leto came in for a coffee you’d act like you’d have no idea who he is because you think that it would really annoy him and that when you ask for his name to write on the cup he’d be like “it’s Jared Leto” and then you’d be like “I only need your first name” and then you write Jacob on the cup.