SUSPIRIUM.

This rinse and repeat feeling had not been pleasant for Avery. Being bound to a desk when she spent majority of the last decade out on the field didn’t settle well with her. Working as a field agent kept her mind occupied, but without that, the demons came crawling back into her mind. Even when they finally let her back into the field on the small cases again. Her partner, her brother, her mother — maybe death always just followed suit. It was something she grew accustomed to by now. Not when her own father and herself couldn’t even stand to be in the same room as each other anymore, refusing to confront their pain. 

Maybe she was a daddy’s girl after all.

The thought caused her to bring the glass to her lips, emptying its content in one gulp. Waving her hand at the bartender, he wordlessly refilled her glass. The blonde became a regular at the bar by now. Burying herself into the temporary relief that alcohol could provide. Prolonging her time from returning to her empty apartment. One which still wasn’t decorated even with her return over a few years ago. She didn’t plan on settling back in her hometown — yet here she was, losing a sense of direction of her own life. Life was a miserable thing. The thought echoed in her mind almost daily.

A figure shifted next to her. Avery didn’t look up and she could sense immediately who it was. A person from her past that was still alive and well was a rarity in her life. She ought to express her appreciation in that. But life as a FBI agent turned the woman sour. But uncharacteristically, the words came bubbling over her lips before she could stop them. For some reason, she always made the exception with him. “I could literally feel you brooding next to me.” She started, taking another gulp of her drink. “You’re totally killing my mojo right now. You know that, right?” Mojo, really?

starter for: @dckotajohnson​ location: los angeles, ca. date: may 26th, 2021.

The atmosphere in LA reminds Flynn of his youth. Weaving through familiar streets, the Hollywood sign in the distance, he pictures his father’s movie seats that he’d often visit. Flynn would spend his days traveling by golf cart around a studio lot. He’d occasionally meet the random celebrity, most likely a co-star and never the main event. Regardless, it was exciting, growing up within such a pivotal world. The world needs movies, Flynn recalls his father saying one time as he sat comfortably in his director chair. 

Though, despite a promise for stardom and fortune, LA does loose it’s glimmer once you breach adulthood. This alone makes Flynn nervous, thinking he should have taken Eleanor somewhere new, somewhere calmer and less plastic. He’s quiet the whole car ride to the hotel. Flynn had picked their rooms and where they’d stay. Two rooms, two worlds apart. Because that’s what friends do, of course, and friends they were.

“I thought we’d have dinner here,” Flynn says, hoisting their bags onto the luggage cart. “Unless that’s too boring for you, you big celebrity.” He says with a laugh, nodding to the small row of photographers hidden just beyond a series of bushes in the distance. Flynn nods to his driver who then takes off with a wave. 

Removing Catalina from the equation was perhaps what they both needed. The island was a place that brought Eleanor and Flynn together, containing a plethora of memories that would remain permanently etched into her mind, a smile subconsciously formed upon her lips whenever they crossed her mind. Yet those memories were entangled with countless of arguments they both shared in the past, and their latest one — even now in the past and supposedly forgotten, it still rendered her confused all the same. It’d always been the same since she could remember. The push and pull. It was almost the calm before the storm would inevitably happen.

Nonetheless, Ellie would take what she could get. She’d never deny Flynn’s company, simply because she couldn’t. Not when he was the few people that remained grounded in her life, and losing him — well, it was a thought she never dwelled on for long. That was always how her mind operated all her life, brushing everything aside until they all bursted open when the overwhelming sensation hit. Her head shook before her mind spiralled any further, and instead she focused on the present, climbing out of car as excitement bubbled for the weekend.

“For once, I just want a goddamn break from them,” A groan escaped her lips at his remarking, following Flynn’s gaze towards the photographers. As if instinctively, Ellie pulled the hood of her hoodie over her head, tugging at the drawstrings to hide her face from view. “But about dinner, I’m starving, so I can eat just about anything right now.” She grinned underneath her hood as they wandered inside the hotel. “You know, you’re gonna have to make this weekend not boring then, aren’t you? Don’t worry, I only have high expectation for you, Flynn.”

The way his mind rattles at what feels like a hundred miles per hour as he sits there and awaits the inevitable. Will Brielle openly admit to him that Emma is his child? Or will she bury the admittance in a response that could potentially hurt him? His mind, as well as the bubbling anxiety, lead him on this path that could further destroy the one woman he loves. However, Landon is going to react; it’s a mystery that he’s not prepared for. So, the former football player distracts himself in the ‘awe’ of the local coffee shop ─ one that underwent a remodel a few years ago (or at least what it looks like), but it’s been one of the staples locations of Cape Elizabeth. His azure optics lack the courage to focus on Brielle because maybe her expression will give him a response. Perhaps, he picked an unnecessary fight to begin with. It isn’t his place. Rarely does he frolic in the gossip, but it’s one that he couldn’t avoid for another second longer. There’s a part of him that hoped that she, of all people, would’ve made an effort to let him know because things could’ve been different. It would’ve been a wake-up call that his whole dream of playing professional football would come with heartache ─ agonizing pain jolting through his body and the lack of love. Then he wouldn’t be an absentee figure in the growing girl’s life. That he could’ve made things work with Brielle if he apologizes and pleaded to the point of repair. Everything could’ve been different. 

T-that’s none of your business, Landon.

This statement alone was glacial, snapping him back from the wonder he occupied himself waiting for her to say something ─ anything. He’s always been calm and collect, especially in these circumstances. “Hey, hey, that’s not fair either,” his hoarse baritone range points out, knowing both of them are coming out swinging in the form of protection. Although, he should’ve known this would’ve been her defense to remind him of his departure. Not only was he young, but dumb by thinking his life would make sense without Brielle Halstead in the picture. “I will always be the guilty one. I know damn well what I did wrong and how I prioritized my career over you. Trust me; you don’t think I go to bed every single night regretting the choice I made? Because I do every single damn day, Brielle.” At this point, he’s on edge as his emotions begun to enhance and create what feels like a whirlpool within him ─ like all of his organs have started to shift themselves in his body because it’s precisely what he’s feeling right now. But he’s wise. Even if Brielle refuses to lay it out flat, there’s an admittance in her words that he is the father. As the realization consumes him, his ears prickle into a state of red ─ whether it’s fury or embarrassment is unknown to him.

His throat has gone dry, forcing a heaving chuckle to roar through but, it could mimic the sound of nails on a chalkboard if you listened long enough. “I would’ve never asked you to give her up,” he points out, agitated by her words and wrongful assumption of the kind of person he is. From the first moment, Landon saw Brielle; the male began to believe in soulmates’ concept. The beam she gave to him while watching him on the sidelines, the way she crawled to him for protection when things went wrong at home, down to how he wanted a family with her. So, all of his put things in the right foot forward, but there’s something more he desires to know. “What have you been telling Emma about her father?”

☆

Her heart thumped against her ribcage as her anxiety spiked; this was the moment Brielle dreaded the most the moment she decided for both of their fates — one being Emma setting the course for the rest of her life, her once lifelong dream to flee Cape Elizabeth was no longer a reality, but rather a faint memory of a naive child who grew desperate to leave the toxic environment created by her parents. The other being stripping Landon and his family the chance of being a father, aunts and even grandparents. Although she always gambled on the fact that her former boyfriend would never return to their hometown. Not after everything she read about him, how his career excelled until the numerous of articles became unbearable to her, that their love for each other wasn’t enough for him. It was an never-ending cycle, from not being enough for her parents, she found once solace in the man before her, a sense of belonging — and yet, he became the sharpest sword to strike into her heart when the pieces were barely holding together. On the inside, she was broken, but she couldn’t behave as such for their daughter nor her siblings when they needed a lifeboat to clutch onto. Her own lifeboat used to have been Landon, but now, all she wanted was the drift away, get lost as she would wander through the rest of her life, feeling unsatisfied with all that she accomplished. His return was like a rope getting caught on something, refusing to let her go. For that, she grew frustrated. Even more so angry that he was asking this of her.

Then her guard shot upwards all at once when Landon jumped into defence too. If Brielle wasn’t so clouded her own emotions, then she would understand that everything he was feeling was justified. As he jumped into his admission, it merely made her realise how clumsily the wound of their broken relationship was sealed close, shooting pangs of hurt straight into her heart as the words immediately came slipping out of her lips. “Then why—” Her lips slammed shut when her mind reconnected with her body, realising what she was about to question. Then why did you leave me? But did it really matter, when they could never salvage the past? When all was done and neither of them could correct their wrongs? Shaking her head, she took a deep breath, allowing the aroma of coffee to rush into her nostrils to settle the chaos that suddenly arose in her mind. “What is this going to do, Landon? How is this going to help the both of us? Because look at us now, I don’t — I don’t know if I can keep doing this anymore,” Not if every time, besides the pleasantries they were merely going to let emotions get the best of them. Not if seeing Landon only made her want to sprint away from their unresolved past. Nor was she ready, to introduce Landon to Emma as her father. 

“I wasn’t going to tell you when I got pregnant, because you made it so clear that you wanted to prioritise your career,” Bitterness seeped into her tone, before she took a moment to take a sip of her lukewarm coffee to steady her nerves. “What good was that going to do for the both of us if I told you, at the time anyway?” She knew it wasn’t fair, considering she made the decision for the both of them without so much of questioning for his opinion. At his next question, she allowed the silence stretch for a moment, debating what exactly she should disclose to him, without jeopardising her own relationship with her daughter too. “She doesn’t know you’re her father, if that’s what you’re asking,” She started, shooting a wary glance at him. “She knows her father has never been in the picture. I didn’t badmouth about her father in front of her, that’s the last thing I wanted Emma to grow up with, considering—” Considering the life Brielle was brought up with. “She just knows that he isn’t around anymore. That he’s too busy with his work to come back.”

It’s been difficult for Landon to wrap his head around everything. When your whole world, the only thing you were good at get taken away from you, it comes with an adjustment period. It’s been approaching months, almost six-months, since he moved back to his quaint Maine town. Even when he was horrendous, self-centered and too invested in the career that brought him many of downfalls, the dirty-blond haired male knew his return would create a divide in town again. Or at least, people to tread around him  ─ specifically Brielle’s siblings who despised him for the way he treated their sister (which he deserves whatever comes from them). Still, he should’ve prepared himself for when he’d run into Brielle. The woman, doe-eyed and all, always caused him to be weak in the knees and his heart to abnormally race. Even now, sitting across from her in the public setting, there’s the urgency to reach out and tuck a strand of her nut-brown tresses behind her ear and ask if she’ll ever forgive him ─ or have the heart to do so. However, he resists the urge because not only because past Landon would’ve swept his worries aside and pleaded for forgiveness. But, his reason for extending the invitation to know the truth once and for all. Is he the father of Emma Halstead or not? 

His azure hues tighten at her quip as it punctures with harder than expected. While his features remain calm and collected, like the ocean before a hurricane begins to travel inward as he allows the blow to be taken internally as he lets the woman take the necessary blow. It doesn’t cross his mind to comment because he’s always been someone to let specific things fade into the background and eat him alive once left alone. Clearing his throat, licking his bottom petal whilst adjusting his position in his chair, azure optics stare dead-on to Brielle. “You have to promise me one thing,” his bass ranged tone insists, “The thing we promised we each other long before we got together.” Just saying that, it was a sting but all of his years of media training, along with people bashing him, it’s comes out like it’s nothing ─ but it’s the opposite. Landon sits on those words for a minute too long before blurting out, “Am I Emma’s father, Brielle?” Is all he asks before continuing on, ripping the bandaid off in one go. “Because if I am her father, I need to know because not only did you hide it from me, but you also hide it from my family who still loves and cares about you after I messed this up.” His hand now darts between them such as the past relationship, reflecting on how his sisters and parents would easily side with Brielle given any scenario. No hesitant in that. “I’m asking for one thing.” 

☆

Brielle remembered the day she found out she was pregnant with Landon’s child — curled up on the floors of her bathroom, surrounded by numerous of positive pregnancy tests scattered all over the tile floor, the sound of her siblings banging on the door that used to be the root cause of her annoyance faded into the background. Her mind was still too attuned to the heartache — a repercussion of her boyfriend deciding to leave her behind in pursuit of his career. She knew, that decided to keep Emma meant keeping a permanent piece of memory of the man that was now sitting before her. Some days, seeing her daughter gave her bittersweet memories, but on most days, she was still her pride and joy, and possibly the only other person she would allow to give her heart to nowadays. Never once, did she expect the father of her child would set foot onto the soils of their hometown again. Sitting before him, staring into those blue eyes that was reigniting emotions inside that she ought to have suppressed by now, made her realise, just how much she’d moved on. She wanted to, and she thought she’d put him behind her, just the same he did to her years ago, but the world’s last cruel joke was to bring him back into her life. Worst of all, working alongside each other in a place where she once fell in love with him.

Landon began with something that immediately caused her brows to furrow. Brielle wanted to argue that she owed him nothing — but the big secret that came in the form of their daughter stopped her otherwise. Instead, her mouth remained slammed shut, until the illusion finally dropped and the dreaded words finally slipped out of his lips. A confirmation of her worst nightmare turning into reality. If it was even possible, for a moment, she thought her heart stopped. “T-that’s none of your business, Landon,” Was all she managed to utter. Then the rest of his words sank in; she’d lie many times to Landon’s family regarding Emma’s true identity, when standing in front of them was their niece or grandchild. The guilt began to seep in, stirring at the pit of her stomach that her hands untangled from the warm cup and her arms found its way to wrap around her torso instead. But naturally, rather than addressing the guilt, Brielle got defensive. “That’s not fair, Landon, you don’t get to guilt trip me. Don’t you dare making me feel bad,” Her voice quivered with anger as she tried to keep her voice low, not wanting to cause a scene, knowing how much people talked in this town. “You left me,” Her tone was accusatory, but it wasn’t denial to his question. That, was probably enough to provide a confirmation to his inquiry. “And I sure as hell wasn’t going to give her up. No matter how hard it’d been for me. If your family knew, they would’ve just told you. So when you left me behind, then I assumed you wanted no involvement in this. If anything, I was just doing you a favour.” Her lips pressed into a thin line, unable to meet his gaze anymore to witness his reaction to her words. She should’ve been apologising, but instead, she was growing more angry and protective over Emma, worried now he wanted to demand his lost time with their daughter.

Since Landon’s last encounter with Brielle has failed to leave his mind once. It could be the way his former-sweetheart always made his breath hitch in his throat or how he needed to be delicate with his words ─ although, in the years he grew up, the ashy-blond male used little words. At the same time, those reasons could be a compelling reason why it often kept him awake at night. It’s the vision of her daughter that danced in his mind. The longer he observed the young girl to her mannerisms to things that she likes ─ a scoop of chocolate, or the smell of specific candles or how she doesn’t like Milky-way candy bars either ─ which means there are a few identical similarities to the girl and Landon. Another thing that adds is how she happens to have similar azure hues to his and happens to have his hair color when he was younger. It just doesn’t make sense. Maybe this is another man’s child, but the pit of his stomach screams otherwise. He’d be a goddamn fool not getting to the bottom of this once and for all.

So, he extended an invitation to meet up at the local coffee shop. It only seemed right because if his former-lover stormed out the door, it would hurt him but at least give him a taste of his medicine on how he prioritized his, now, failed career instead of picking the girl. After saying goodbye to his niece, who wrapped herself around Landon’s leg and wailed for him not to leave, the uncle promised he’d be back soon before she knew it. If it hadn’t been for his niece, the male would’ve been there sooner to prepare how he wants to approach Brielle without getting a smoldering coffee thrown in his face. As he entered the familiarized establishment, his azure hues searched for Brielle before spotting her in the quiet back corner. Lifting a hand, he falses a tightlipped smile before crossing the room. “Hey, thanks for meeting me,” he greets in his cavernous range. His hand waves off her apology for ordering already, sliding into the seat opposite as any other form of pleasantry made no sense. “Nah, you’re fine. I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long. I just had my niece clinging to me, thinking I was going to bounce for good.”

☆

How peculiar it was, that since Landon’s return, for every time Brielle wanted to drive some distance between them, the universe just made their mission for that to become an impossible feat. The fact that they were now colleagues under the roof that filled with nothing but bittersweet memories when it came to their relationship, to their latest run in with Emma in tow. Now, she was sitting opposite her former boyfriend like nothing had ever fell out of place for the pair. At least, on the outside, they just seemed like two ordinary people trying to catch up over a coffee together. But not in her eyes, when there was so much unaddressed history between them. Not to mention for every time her mind drifted down memory lane, it merely left a bitter taste in her mouth. But civil was what she was trying to be right now. For the sake of the public setting, and a part of her was curious as to why Landon made such gesture to meet up out of the blue.

Once Landon spotted her as he set foot into the café, Brielle could feel her heart pick up its pace, her throat turning dry which only made her take a sip of her coffee, burning her tongue in the process. Although she masked the uncomfortable sensation with a small smile, shifting in her seat for a moment while he took the empty seat before her. At his comment regarding his niece, however, the corners of her lips quirked up further more across her features, finding somewhat amusement in his words. “Not used to you being around so long, huh?” The quip slipped right from her lips without a second thought, although perhaps there was a more underlying meaning to her words than she’d like to admit. Shaking her head, her gaze fell to the cup in her hands, admittedly hard to control her thoughts and emotions in his presence. Even after all these years, Landon still seemed to have the same effect on her. “Anyway,” She broke the silence again, hoping to get straight to point as the sooner she could leave, the better it was for her. Even for him too. “What did you want to talk about? Is everything alright?” 

Her hands clasped then unclasped around the warm cup for the umpteenth time — Brielle didn’t exactly know why she agreed to meet Landon, at coffee shop of all places, all for the patrons of Cape Elizabeth to witness. Anyone residing in their hometown for long enough would be aware of their history, or the fact that Landon was probably what put this place on the map in the first place. She wasn’t sure what else they had to talk about since her outburst at the high school or when she bumped into him with his nieces and her — their daughter in tow. But if they had to see each other in the hallways of their high school, working alongside as colleagues, civil was what she was trying to be right now, even if she was unsure what this meeting was about.

She arrived earlier, needing caffeine from a particularly rough night with her daughter. As the brunette waited, she couldn’t help but shake the feeling that she may get stood up again. Just like when Landon left her for his career, and she had to take a sip of her steaming cup of coffee to dull out the bitterness in her mouth, burning her tongue in the process. Maybe she wasn’t quite over the abrupt end of their relationship, and his reappearance surely didn’t help that cause at all. Although she managed to muster a faint smile when Landon finally came in sight, before waving him over. Truth be told, she hated that he still looked good — too good, even. “Hey,” She greeted. “I hope you didn’t mind that I ordered first, I didn’t quite get as much sleep as I wanted last night.”

Asher: Did you guys know that there's a twenty-four hour shrink two blocks away from my house? A fucking shrink. The best Westbrook had was a twenty-four hour burger truck that sold stale burgers. I think it's a sign.

Asher: Also Finn and Maia showed up at my front door last night with no warning and I spent most of the day thinking I dreamt it. So, that shrink is looking really tempting right now.

Fallon: Gross. Don't they have apps for people to vent or whatever nowadays? It'll probably be closed down before you know it. Also, I don't know what you're talking about. That burger truck was good. Granted I was drunk every time I had it but...stop insulting good food, woman.

Life as a Barnes’ came with far more disappointments than perk’s itself. You’d think of the opposite with a successful Surgeon of a mother by the name of Ellis Barnes and a husband who loved this woman with all of his given will power to only witness an empty home and a wife who could’ve cared less, only looking out for herself, as it became the start of etching and life-rattling memories etched with Allison. Soon, as the miniature replica of Ellis’ aged, words were used as an emotional tool to physically and mentally ruin any optimism within Allison. As signs of trust issues started to arise was years went on and her lack of commitment to the slightest of relationships showed. She was never good enough for her mother. Regardless of how hard she studied, becoming the top of her class at Dartmouth University, successful passing her MCATs with flying colors, nothing was ever enough. None of it. It was still shameful words being splattered towards the young women full of ambition but growing further with hatred. It was her mother who made her this way. It was something she never wanted. She never wanted to be as cold as ice to Charlotte. It was how her mother raised her to be. The own people who brought you into this world were victims of crimes of putting their own children down instead of building them up. The blonde wanted to accept the possibility of someone else loving her like Nathaniel saw underneath all of the compressed layers of emotional damage Allison wore. Yet, it was far too difficult. Every single day was one worth learning and growing from. All of her mothers words no longer stuck to her like glue. Slowly but surely, she learned her self worth and importance in this world. Yet, she didn’t want to disappoint Charlotte with all of her possible ideas and figments of her half sister’s imagination over who Allison Barnes is instead over the actual Allison Barnes, who feels pain and terror as the days go on from a life she never chose to live and be forced because of her mother’s bitterness at the world. One thing Allison knew, it was Charlotte deserved better than her. 

As time passed on, the lack of effort from Allison in approaching and confirming the existence of her sister hadn’t once changed. She couldn’t keep up with this childish behavior. If one thing, Allison knew she wasn’t anything like Alex Meller, who ran away from his problems, but instead she faced them head-on. In this matter, she found herself struggling far more than any other scenario. They passed each other in the hallways. Regardless of how enormous the hospital was, the investment in her work and being the Head of General Surgery had always taken its importance on her. Yet, for how long would she deal with giving her the cold shoulder and avoiding any conversation with the mention of her sister’s name, well, that one is another story. Nonetheless, the information of her sister being on her service today brought an unwelcoming stiffness to the table, knowing due to their lack of conversation, Allison was going to attempt to keep things vague as possible. It was one procedure both of them simply needed to prepare for. Consultation after consultation, preparing her client for a prolonged surgery of removing the head of the pancreas, after the gallbladder and the bile duct to remove the cancerous tumors before reconnecting all organs. Figuring with how worlds traveled quickly over the hospital, the blonde knew her sister knew the procedure and how it would be an all-day orchestral. There had been a bit of time before the surgery but she needed the moments of preparation. Yet, as the ringing of her sister’s voice speaking toward her caused an instant turn on her heel. Allison. Dark blue scrubs, her arms laid beside her, allowing the other to speak until it was her given chance. Of course, there wasn’t any form of communication between them. The last thing Allison wanted was to be a horrible teacher, which she knew she was far from it. This procedure rarely happened and from her hearing, she had the best resident on her case. “Okay,” she slowly began, arms now stuffed in the pockets of her dark blue scrubs. It was something she should give to her. “Lay it on me. Anything. We got an hour before surgery. What better way to spend time.” Not a single sight of sarcasm to her words, as they were genuine seeing how she had been ignoring her sister. “How about we get a coffee? It’s best if we’re awake and alert during this surgery. I’ve set expectations high for today with our patient. I suppose on the way there, we’ll… talk.” It was the least she could do. To hear her sister out and know how she’s feeling. With that, she motioned the other to follow Allison in her moving steps, only waiting to speak to Charlotte once they were in the same foot pace. “I don’t hate you, Charlotte.” 

          The older man knew his nieces wanted ice cream themselves and along with the incident of Emma having dropped her own, it was an open pass for him to proceed forward and make an effort to spend time with her. Surprisingly, it all worked out, knowing he was going to make his nieces happy but also, he would be relived with himself having spoken to her after their encounter in the school, those few months ago. His own nieces were standing prepared, earnest for the adventure toward the ice cream parlor after knowing the constant nagging in the car-ride toward the park worked it’s magic on their Uncle Landon. With having little responsibilities, compared to the life he used to possess, every single day was one worth trying to figure out where he wanted to go. Eventually, he’d have to find a home of his own, settle roots or whatever those roots may be, find harmony in the fact Cape Elizabeth always had him crawling back home. It was where his grandest love story began. One he sadly blew for the sake of a sport and fame, but he was learning his lessons moment by moment. If only he could’ve gone back in time, avoided any of this happening, the awkwardness between the only woman he had ever loved, you bet Landon would’ve done it by now. There had been a lot of questions wandering over his mind over Brielle. Whether she was seeing someone or if there had been anyone worthy of her attention in the past. Who was the father of Emma? It wasn’t like he heard anything since returning back in town. Yet, his family by his requests pulled the mute train on telling him anything. Curiosity was simply starting to get the best of him, wondering what was all going on behind closed doors of her life, those moments when she used to share them with Landon in their late-night escapades of him confronting her and him always reminding her that he’ll be there for her. As his mind wandered aimlessly, each one of these thoughts tugging on his heart eyes, an answer could either break or make his world - and he wasn’t ready for any of that yet. A stuffed into the depth of his coat pocket, ocean blues hues focused bounced on the sight of the three younger girls at their interaction then every now and then, the quickest of glances toward the beauty beside him, as his heart further raced and ached at how time and his choices brought them here. It was something he’ll never forget and never get over. It was his fault and his responsibilities he needs to constantly own up too. “I did,” he chuckled, shaking his head slightly at the remembrance of his conversation with his sister earlier in the day. “Mom and her wanted to have a day of pampering. So, they went up to Portland and left me to watch the girls.” A singular side of his mouth rose to himself, looking over at Brielle before hues darted toward the near sight of the parlor appearing. “I hope she does. Then again, she wouldn’t leave the girls with any of our other siblings so I take that trust.” And, he found those words in a state of flattery toward his ego of being a babysitter. When all comes to worst in your life, a baby sitter is a route for Landon. Both of his nieces were off and ordering already, not even waiting for Landon to give them approval. After the kids and Brielle had all ordered, his hues quickly glanced over the options but none of them pleased him, “Let’s make that two cookie doughs. Thank you,” he kindly informed the employee, hues darting down toward the petite brunette beside him. “Brielle, you don’t have to pay. It’s a treat on me.” Hopeful, she would take his offer, at least just this once, since this whole idea started with his nieces and extending the offer. It allowed him a moment with her, even if it was a moment of silence but mostly a moment of realization, of a dream which died all too quickly by his choice, this was all he was asking for. To be with her and to find the ways of making it happen. 

Nothing mattered more to Camille than her family. Separated by thousands upon thousands of miles, nearly a six-hour flight, content with her racked up days off gave her an opportunity to return back to home to the nestled, quaint former stepping stone of her childhood of Napa Valley with ease. The startling news of their father’s sudden illness spread quickly. Almost like an awful virus, reflecting on one horrid winter year, knocking out all of the Abbott’s for an entire week at the same time. Each one of these unique plastered together child birthed from Goldie Abbott clearly managed to drive their mother insane by all of their whinings because who wanted to be sick? No one. In this case, it wasn’t an illness to pass over in a week or so. No, it was one far more serious. If it brought Isaac back home with Carson, leaving his established life in Los Angeles to run the Winery which rightfully belonged to the only boy in the family, everything upcoming was completely blinded. The quaint four walls no longer lingered with her rock posters. Instead, a fresh nude color painted the walls along with fresh white, cotton sheets revived the room but still held the disarray of unworn clothes items on her chair and her dresser full of perfume, jewelry and old makeup products. Unpacking her new set of belonging, the creaking sound of her bed underneath her younger sisters comfort on her bed. A grin instantly tugged on her mouth corners, turning on her bare heel toward the sight. “Sorry sweetie, if only I had magical powers, I would’ve snapped myself here nearly eight hours ago. Good because you know, I hate when there’s no banana bread left.” She admitted with a pleasant tone. “A few days over a month. Isaac is still pulling the sad puppy dog eyes? Have we figured out the cause for such agony in our brother?” Playful tone laced through her words along with a glint of wonder what else could be bothering the eldest Abbott sibling beside the given reason why everyone returned back home. Count on Camille to find the hidden meaning behind it all. For now, being able to catch up with her younger sister tugged on her entire focus. “Okay, boost my ego, tell me how much you missed me. I know you’re dying to do so, Indi.” 

special delivery for ;  @amberhcard

“Look who finally made time for me,” he teased, embracing his long-time time friend after having gone a few months without her face to face to him. Of course, he missed her. Most of his days over the years had been a constant up and down, attempting to find a steady flow and respected jobs came with quite a bit of disappointment. Opportunities came but then failed. There was hype around a show and then later, the network believed it was best to drop. After a while, Gage became unphased by the rinse and repeat of his career. He always joked about how the peak of his career was when he was a child actor. Starring in the biggest motion pictures alongside Laura Dern and Harrison Ford, something he cherished and surprisingly kept in contact with them. One good thing was everyone he once worked with were still steady members in his life. Just like Florence. Their brief stint on Disney came with a PR stunt all formulate by both of their publicists. In the beginning, it felt weird but as time went on, development of unhashed feelings still circulating with every time they spent together, he knew having met Florence became the best thing in his life. She knew everything about what he was going through with work and finding a role suitable for him. More of the time, he spent it outside of the limelight but he continually showered her with endless support because the rise of her career made him happy. She deserved it. Even if it meant he came around teasing her over the months they went without a face to face conversation. “I was starting to worry you had gotten too good for little ole me.” Unraveling his lengthy arms from around her petite torse, wandering around her place comfortably as his hand rested against a chair, a soft beam on his lips. “So, superstar, tell me, how has it been? Have you been lucky to have any moment with Chris Evans or Chris Hemsworth? It’s a shame Evans doesn’t have an Instagram but Hemsworth makes up for it.” If he had to pick a boy crush, it would either be two those good looking Marvel fuckers, as Gage put it sometimes. From his position, a flood of auditions came in, ones he would soon have to prepare for but when Florence came back into town, he always came running. Running to the comfort of home - her feeling like home to him. Something she’d never know but it eased him off the set of his worries around confiding in the pit of his chest. The steadiness of happiness resting on his face as he took in her. “It’s good to have you back, superstar.” A pause, beaming like a child on Christmas morning, “How long are you back for?” 

Madison didn’t know what possessed her to invite Logan over. Besides their professional relationship, or whatever the past they shared was…he didn’t have any reasons to spend time with her. She didn’t remember their past and it didn’t seem likely she was going to remember at this point. Yet whenever she needed him, for work or personal reasons, he always seemed to be right here by her side at any moment’s notice. Then that had fell into a pattern for the past few months, between her busy schedule and the small amount of time she had to herself, she often spent those time holed up in her own home so she could avoid being bombarded by paparazzis whenever she had to run any errands around the city. It was like she was living her life under a microscope between the public and her parents and the only time she felt as though she could take a breath was whenever she was in Logan’s company. Whether that was simply just binge watching TV shows or helping her with reading through her script, that seemed to be the new normal for the two of them. Tonight seemed to be the latter for her; now sitting on her couch and curled up with a glass of wine as she flicked through her script, the blonde didn’t even think twice before reaching over and grabbing her phone to send a text to see if Logan was free. She wouldn’t be offended if he said no, because a part of her did wonder if he had more to do than to spend time with her pathetic self and was just too nice to say anything about it. Not that she ever asked. The other part of her was being selfish and didn’t want to know. The blonde perked up when her phone made a noise, smiling lightly to herself to find that he was heading over to her place right now. Madison made sure she was at least looking decent before the doorbell rang and opened the door for him. There was no doubt in her mind that she could easily go through her scripts by herself, but this task was always easier when there was an actual person to speak against to. Maybe she was also making an excuse to spend some time with Logan too, although she definitely wasn’t going to admit that to any breathing soul. Taking a generous gulp of her wine, they both made themselves comfortable on their couch and began going through the script. There were always scripts that landed on her agent’s desk everyday, but this was the few that apparently the role of the main character seemed to be made for her, at least according to her agent anyway. But it was the story that intrigued her the most. It was a romantic story, something that usually wasn’t the type of projects she would take on. As the two of them went through the dialogues, she couldn’t help but look over at Logan as she watched him. Although the words were written on the sheets and he was merely reciting them, something was stirring inside her as he spoke. She suddenly wanted those words to be meant for her. She didn’t even realise that she was staring until he mentioned that it was her turn to speak, before her eyes widened slightly at the stage direction. “Uh, and then the two of them are supposed to kiss so let’s just skip over to the next act and then—” As her phone buzzed, her attention was pulled away from the script, and she looked up only to find Logan staring back at her. She wasn’t sure if it was the wine or not, but surely the distance between the two of them were closer than when they both first sat down. She held her breath as she couldn’t look away, heart thumping loudly against her skin before her guard gave up and she caved in, closing the distance between them and melting against his lips.

Brielle couldn’t be any more opposite to Landon. He was the popular kid in school — the quarterback, in fact. However, her surname was enough to set out some preconceived reputation about her already. Much thanks to her father and mother, she had to take care of her siblings and that allowed the rest of Cape Elizabeth to think that she was just like the addicts that were her parents. They were no more than just lab partners in classes, their conversations never really went further than what was going on in their class. Until recently, when he began to strike up a conversation with her while they were working on their assignment. He was charming, for sure, but wasn’t every popular kid in high school? But there was something…different about him. A genuine sense of kindness and seemingly interested in listening to what she had to say. So she grew curious too, wanting to know about the mysterious quarterback besides what the school population thought about him. Getting to know him through their classes together, she was beginning to find herself like all the other girls in her school - feeling her heart just sped up a little whenever she was in his presence. She hated herself for it, because he wasn’t ever going to look at her the same way — or so she thought. When he asked to hang out with her one day outside of school, she thought he was kidding. But the time they’d spent together made her realise the look on his face was anything but joking. So she said yes, because she found herself more drawn to him everyday, wanting to solve the mystery that was Landon McAllister and getting to know more about him. He took her to the local ice cream parlour before taking a walk around town just talking all night long, seemingly lost track of time in each other’s words. He asked her questions that had never crossed her mind before, and weirdly, despite not knowing him well, she gave him nothing but honesty. She told him about her hopes to leave this town and pursue her love for English literature. In return, he told her about his dreams and career plans for the future. Something about talking to him just made her wish those dreams would come true. Although that conversation was put to a pause when they both realised that they should head home after losing track of time since they still had school tomorrow. So that was how she ended up in his car, now parked right outside of her house. The brunette fidgeted with her fingers, suddenly silence lingered in the air between the two, both seemed to be coming up short to say anything else. “So, um, I’d invite you in, but then you’d be interrogated by a bunch of rascals,” She joked, before her grin faltered when she met his gaze. In that moment, she couldn’t turn away, lost in those green eyes of his, and before she knew it, she wasn’t sure who was leaning towards the other, or both of them were, her lips pressed against his softly, melting immediately against his touch. When she reluctantly pulled away, he tugged a strand of her hair behind her ear, before she smiled shyly at him. “I should go,” She uttered, before climbing out of her car, and turning back to look at him again. “Thank you, I had a really nice time tonight.” She started, still feeling somewhat lightheaded by the kiss. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow, and hopefully maybe I don’t have to wait until biology this time.” 

Logan had requested some time off of his job on purpose to focus most, if not all, of his attention towards Madison. Though his relationship with her went way beyond than her just being another client, he genuinely wanted to keep an eye on her since God knows that her parents weren’t doing a great job at it. At least, he assumed so since they’ve managed to let him down before. He felt like he owed her that much after all the lost time he wasted running after his estranged wife. Logan knew he wasn’t getting that time or money back from travelling quite literally around the world, maybe making an absolute idiot of himself, but he shifted his focus elsewhere or more like, to someone else. When Reagan told him about the accident and what happened, he almost wanted it to be a joke. A cruel one, but one he didn’t want to believe because that meant Madison was put in harms way and he never wanted anything to happen to her. If anything, Madison and Reagan were the only two people apart from his sister that were consistent in her life. “Really? Just like that? You aren’t even… You know what? Never mind.” Logan started though stopped himself while he could from going on a ramble before waving a hand towards the waiter. He tried to hide his smile and he did feel a little stupid that even the smallest things — like trusting him with her order — made him as happy as it did. It was jus an indication to him that maybe she was beginning to trust him again. Again, he felt stupid since it was such a small and unnoticeable gesture, but it made him happy nonetheless. Logan placed both of their orders in and turned his attention back to her before folding his arms over the able comfortably. He couldn’t help the slight roll of his eyes at the mention of her parents, the last thing he wanted to do was take advantage and plant judgement in her head without her coming up with them first. Although it was obvious that Logan wasn’t the biggest fan of her parents, he was hoping that they’d use this to theirs and make things right. “Nah, not at all. At least, not anything I can’t handle.” he smirked, his knuckles knocking once against the marble table. “Oh yeah, you would always ask me when its time to go home whenever we’re out at fancy events. Which was refreshing, because I’ll be honest with you, I never liked them myself.” Logan chuckled before clearing his throat, taking himself out of his trance at the memory. “I’ve been okay, just currently going through some… renovations at home. Yeah, let’s call it that.” he added, mumbling the last sentence to himself though it was probably loud enough for her to hear. Logan didn’t want to spend their time together talking about his former wife, and as far as he was concerned, he probably never wanted to mention or bring her up ever again. “What are you working on right now? You know if you ever need help going through lines or anything at all, you can always come to me. It was kind of a usual thing we did actually.” he said with a light shrug. “Have you, uh, met Reagan?”

Since her homecoming, often Madison noticed that she still hadn’t found her footing back in Los Angeles. Even with her parents breathing down her neck, showing her photos of her past or even worse, playing the movies that she supposedly had been in before, none of them were enough to convince her that this was truly what her past was like before. At least, it was still overwhelming to her and she didn’t know just how to handle these information just yet. So instead, diving into work and pretending to become someone else seemed like the next best option. When the cameras were on her, she didn’t need to think about the people trying to help her remember, she was always given dialogues and background information of the character she was portraying; because the truth was, the blonde wasn’t sure if she wanted to remember. Maybe she was given a second chance to live her life, but all she wanted was some space to discover her new life in her own time. Although with the last few months passed, she still came up empty, still uncertain of the decisions she made whenever she felt her parents’ eyes on her. She told herself that they both meant well, considering these were the people that shared the same DNA as her, so she often tried to remind herself that they just wanted to help her with her recovery and adapting back to her lifestyle. Brows raised at his ramble, she hadn’t gotten the chance to say another word until the waiter came and took their order. “Well, unless you give me a reason not to trust you, I guess you’ll be my best guide on my own life right now,” The blonde said lightheartedly, a genuine smile tugged at the corners of her lips at Logan’s expression. Granted, her parents warned her not to trust many people in the entertainment industry, but surely, the man sitting before would be an exception. Especially if his job was to make sure she had nothing but a clean reputation to the media. He probably knew just as much as her parents did about her. “You better not let my parents hear that, they might just work you to your bone.” She joked, before nodding lightly at his latter comment. “I’ll keep that in mind for the next event, I’m glad to hear you feel the same way. I don’t mind the nice outfits, but I’d rather sit at an In-N-Out, if I’m being honest. At least they’ll have actual food there.” Madison wasn’t sure where all the honesty suddenly came from, but it was refreshing to actually be able to be honest to someone for once. “Renovation, huh?” She tilted her head to one side, not quite understanding his words. “I mean, if you ever need help, I could do with a change of scenery.” She offered, as she didn’t really want to make their working relationship as formal as the title stated. He seemed like he deserved better than that. “You’d that with me?” She asked, surprised that reading lines was something they used to do before, which only made her wonder how close they were before her accident. “It’s a heist movie, which is different to my usual work...apparently. It seems pretty interesting though,” At his question, her mind drifted briefly to the encounter she had with the woman a few months again, before nodding again. “Yeah, I— um, kind of bumped into the her once? Are you close to her?” She asked, pausing for a moment before adding. “Was I...was I friends with her?”

This was an image of discomfort Isaac had never imagined himself to ever endure especially with Sophie. The history between both of the best friends easily overpowered any previous issues life had thrown their way but those were easier moments. The distance and lack of comfort of having the one person, who understood him better than his own family, was the person whom he was encountering at this precise moment as he was dreading any awkward moment between the both of them. Or, the whole awkwardness when both of them would’ve laughed at people who had to experience these such emotions. Oh, how much a young Isaac had never expected himself in this position. What made things worse was, he wasn’t the type to bring up anything - especially their past. If they wanted to talk about it, the evening both of them spent together, they both would’ve done it by now. Part of him hoped they did. Yet, it was just a curveball being thrown in his direction as he somehow managed to get through the day by day of his life, wandering and the assuming the worst about himself. Becca had done a bit of damage to his heart but Sophie, God, she was everything to him. Losing her was like losing faith in the world. Optimism simply lacked within him. The one woman he would instantly drop all of his plans for and come rushing her way without any hesitation. This was his person. The one who knew him like the back of her hand. Yet, they were broken. They weren’t familiar with each other’s souls, thoughts and bodies anymore. Every moment he stood there, all he could do was just guess - assume the worst in his true Isaac fashion over what she was thinking about. Those thoughts alone ached him and all he wanted to do was love her. Not the forms of platonic love both of them shared. The love he still feels in his chest but simply looking at her, as he wished she would’ve given him the opportunity to love her endlessly and for them to be best friends turned into lovers. Just like everyone had wished for them. Like he realized long after their night together, these two were meant together. To be in love together. To grow old together. Those clichés, he wanted all of them with her. Isaac had feelings for his best friend, Sophie Kepler, and perhaps, it may have been too late to do something about it. 

The adrift between both of the best friends caused reactions from his family unlike any before. All of his siblings’ reactions began and ended with: ‘Stop these April Fools joke, Isaac.’ Yet, as he informed them moment after moment, it wasn’t a joke but reality itself, the silence endured them all on the phone lines. They didn’t ask for the details nor could he have been able to share such an intimate moment between them with his family. Till this day, he allowed them to assume their falling out was just a falling out. It was a secret he kept with himself and the moment he enjoyed with Sophie as he proceeded on with this day to day life. The impact of his best friend was etched in every passing corner of his life. Down to the favorite coffee shop where they both sat in during the weekends, to the Los Angeles Farmers Market where they picked up their belongings. It was places and moments he shared with her where he could no longer go to. The memories were too valuable and heartbreaking to endure walking down that path by himself instead of Sophie’s petite self beaming up toward him. The dancing image of his son asking about Sophie, even after their prolonged departure from each other lives, tugged at his heartstrings, having wanted to pass on the message toward the other even though it was inconvenient in timing. “Yeah, yeah, it really is,” he commented with tightness through each word. Wishing there was a soothing touch in her words, that everything will be okay and there was happiness on the end of the tunnel but there wasn’t. Not for him. “Sure, yeah, we could.. figure out a day best for both of us. It would make his day,” a brief pause, taking an intense sigh, “I can’t believe he’s five already.” The latter of his words fell through a mumble, hues tugging toward the bond between both animals amidst their presence. Through the pain and the agony of wanting to reach out to her, to touch her again, to know the truth or if she ever endured any emotions after their evening together, he swallowed it deep within and allow himself to reflect on the delicate moments of their childhood. Those moments could never be erased or pushed to the side. It was Sophie who always made him smile like a damn goofball. Just as a genuine beam crept on his lips, for the first time throughout their conversation. “You always knew a way to make them stay. Probably because of your heart of Gold for everything and everyone.” Genuine words of his undying appreciation for her self inserted themselves as a gentle reminder over how much he still cared for her. “Great, actually. Yeah, it’s strange but I’ve always missed home.. even if I didn’t let people know or believe it. So, it’s good to be back.” For him, there were dreams outside of Napa Valley but he lived those out for years. Being reigned back in, the realism of his life was to lend a helping hand to his parents, taking over the winery just as promised. “Cool, then, we’ll have to plan it.” Hues flickering toward her, a weak smile shot her way. Yet, within moments, everything he was aching and had been feeling for nearly the past few years came tumbling back by the confession of her words. As time stood still, the Farmers Market in the distance became silent. She was getting married. 

Nothing else mattered to him at this moment. A part of him just died then and there, staring at her hopelessly as the words processed. Six months. In less than six months, Sophie was going to get married. There was a blankness and discomfort coursing over his demeanor as Isaac further remained silent, knowing his reaction screamed millions over how the news was indeed affecting him. Would it be easier if he just walked away from the conversation and acted like it never happened? Like he didn’t just hear his best friend, the same woman Isaac had finally realized he had feelings for, belonged to another man and he couldn’t do anything about it? If he self-inserted his feelings, one where he highly doubt she experienced in return for him, could further ruin someone else’s happiness. Of course. It wasn’t about him anymore. It had never been. He got the needed reassurance from their evening together as if it meant nothing. “Wow,” he eventually spoke through gritted teeth, snapping out of his daze of trailing thoughts. Shaking his head, the tall man couldn’t shake off these feelings or hide the way his reaction overtook him in those minutes ago. “You’re getting married.” Another forced set of words, clearing his throat before his darkened hues found the once comfort of her own. “Congratulations.” Lie, after lie, he was digging himself into a deep of discomfort and wanting out of this moment more than anything. Shoot her a weak-willed smile, he studied her expression closely as his next words followed, “Who’s the lucky man?” He questioned. He hated this. He didn’t want to be here. All he wanted to do was get back to the Villa and act like this never happened. All of it. “I’m happy for you, Sophie. Uh, you… deserve great things and I hope he’s everything you ever wanted.” 

“Sounds good to me,” The brunette nodded. “Five? Wow, how time flies,” It only made the guilt worse to realise how much time had passed between them since they last saw each other. It really had been that long since she had even seen him before her move back home. At Isaac’s comment about their past, she couldn’t help but smile at the memory, although feeling awkward instantly at how everything changed since their childhood until now. “Well, I’m sure your family is thrilled to have you back. They...always talk about wanting to have you back in Napa anyway. I’m just sorry it had to be under these circumstances.” It didn’t matter how she felt about Isaac being back because that wasn’t relevant anymore. She couldn’t even pinpoint where the two of them stood and she didn’t want to ask. Although she was happy for him to be near his family again. Besides her parents, the Abbott’s also taught her what the word family meant to her. There wasn’t a stronger bond than the one that family had within their villa. In this moment after she brought up her engagement, all Sophie was felt was numbness. If it wasn’t for Theo’s constant tugs on his leash, then she would hardly be aware that she was still standing in the middle of the Farmers Market. Immediate regret hit her as soon as those words left her lips, but if Isaac really meant the world to her, then it was only fair to deliver the news herself. It was bad enough that it took her this long before announcing her engagement to someone that she once couldn’t keep a single secret around, except for the one where she had been in love with him practically her whole life. Enough was enough, she had told herself. She didn’t need this one sided feeling towards her once best friend keep from really living her life any longer. But it didn’t feel right for him to find out from someone else either, even if a few people in her hometown knew of this already. After all, she was one that left so much unsaid and refused to address their last night together, so maybe this would provide her with some form a closure. That she shouldn’t be pining over someone that didn’t feel the same way for her. Perhaps she should’ve dealt with her feelings for him better than she did, but she couldn’t change the past now. But as she stared at him in silence, trying hard to analyse his expression as he seemed to take in the news, she couldn’t help but feel conflicted in this moment. Something was running through his mind, she knew that much. But there used to be a time where she would naturally call him out to speak his mind. She couldn’t do that now, they were stuck in this limbo that neither of them seemed to be able to break from, unable to address the elephant in the room. She wondered for a moment if he had found someone else too. It was something that often crossed her mind when she first moved back to Napa Valley, although of course she was too scared ask any members of the Abbott clan in regards to that matter. It was none of her business anymore. This fact always formed a dull ache whenever she realised she wouldn’t be as close to Isaac as they used to be. The two children that grew up alongside each other, played out their dream wedding as children, until the brunette realised she wanted that to come true. She had always told him that anyone that he fell in love with, that those women were lucky to find a man like him in their lives. That was the way she always felt about the man standing before her. Even when he didn’t see her in the same way, she should be grateful for the friendship she had with him. But it grew unbearable pretending to be happy for Isaac, when all she wanted to do was to muster up the courage to confess her love to him.