When you want to bring back the person who wrote the sql code before you just so you can ...ahem...slap them! HT Pilon27
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@dbareactions
When you want to bring back the person who wrote the sql code before you just so you can ...ahem...slap them! HT Pilon27

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
In the third hour of the failed failover
When our hosting partner picks up the phone
When you have 5 alter stored procedure scripts open in SSMS and it crashes before you save your changes.
When you're the backup oncall. (HT raindog308)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Seeing a recruiter after your manager gives you a negative review based on team productivity, after you personally have been working overtime for more than 6 months straight.
When the developer hands the DBA a query without testing it and wants it put into production.
When you realise that this Friday is the #database #administrator #appreciation day #dbaday
When the other developer on your project retires and you realize you have complete control of the database, and then you realize you are the ONLY one with control of the database.
When my application vendor says he'll fix a bug and asks "if referential integrity is the kind of thing that keeps you awake at night"
HT Pete

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
New to Oracle and Oracle says you have thousands of invalid synonyms. An hour of triage ensues only to discover you just needed to recompile them all with a single command...
Learning about HOT, vacuum, and waits at PostgresCon
When you're stuck sitting through a 50 minute seminar that sounded like a tech talk but turns out to be a marketing pitch.
When you spend an entire day and night with angry devs breathing down your neck to fix an issue only to discover it was on their end and had nothing to do with the database. And now they want your help.
Devops owns the queries and the indexes, but DBA doesn't feel left out because we get to own the performance!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Preparing to flip the app from the old Oracle database to the new Postgres database
When you finally can log on to non-prod vpn after spending a week connected to production because of service disruptions