☽ ◯ ☾ Mess.

The face of a stoned, lorazepamed to the eyeballs fatty. I haven't been able to regulate my heart rate or breathing all day. Palpitations, sweating... i just keep messing up because my heads not good and I can't rationalise at all. I'm only just starting to breath normally after ten hours thanks to a joint and cooking as a sort of meditation/distraction. #failday #worksucks #cantcope #depression #anxiety #ptsd

Snakes Head Fritilary bringing some light to ma life. #simplethings

"Be kind to yourself" a floral reminder.

Stretchin cuddlin and frolickin atop Cherhill, tracing the footsteps of many an Iron Age tribeswoman. Oh how I wish I had a time machine. #cherhill #wiltshire #oldburycastle #ironage #frolics #heathen #ohhowilovethisland

While I'm still devastated that Lemon and Pineapple were foxed, I am super chuffed with how Strawb has come on since I got her in November. She has FEATHERS!! And her comb is RED!! Her eggs continue to be amazing and the shell is starting to thicken as her health improves! She's one of the most affectionate birbs and is finally being accepted by her sort of sister. #gostrawbgo #batteryhen #rehab

Everything

Poorly puppers have good taste in pressies...drinking to what can only be described as a 'holy shit some stuff happened and I'm still here and that is completely mind fucking I have no idea what life is and total gut dropping disbelief and empathy and a million emotions', moments.

BARBs #strangerthings

So I'm living at home, have been for a couple years now. And in that time my mental health although still up and down, has stabilised to a point where I'm managing to surf urges to self harm etc, and maintaining a decent diet etc, until my little lapse recently. My mum, bless her, had a tough upbringing, and spent a fair few years of her young adult life caring for her mum who had alcoholism, badly. Then I was poorly, and she spent a good chunk of time caring for me, then recently, she cared for her mum again through the end stage of her life. Last night, she told me that she basically resents the thought that she might have to care for me again. Form a health or mental health point of view. She said the fact I live at home, she can't escape when I feel bad, and she is done caring for other people. She said she'll always be there but she is scared she will have to "care" for me again, I feel more of a burden than ever. I can completely see where she's coming from, but why does she get so angry and nasty about things?! My dad, knows I'm struggling, is being so sweet leaving me notes and gently non invasively carrying on with life, but subtly helping. Mum just snaps and shouts at me. They said they love me living at home.... I cook most of my mums meals cos she won't... but I don't feel welcome anymore, I feel like such a burden. More so than ever. I've put them through a lot. And I don't feel like I deserve to be here anymore. Full stop. I should just disappear and then no one should have to deal with me. I'm not worth it.

That'll fix it.... :( #chicken #perils #fox #fucksake

So there is a very cunning fox about. I am 95% sure the hens were locked up safe and sound last night. Yet we are down to KnobblyBobbly and Strawb. So either I've been outsmarted or I'm just shit. I am the worst hen guardian ever. I'm so sorry 😿

The Haze Sisters. From top to bottom; Lemon, Pineapple and Strawberry 🍋🍍🍓💕 Strawberry loves back tickles. #lemonhaze #pineapplehaze #strawberryhaze #exbatteryhens #birbz

The Haze Sisters. From top to bottom; Lemon, Pineapple and Strawberry 🍋🍍🍓💕 Strawberry loves back tickles. #lemonhaze #pineapplehaze #strawberryhaze #exbatteryhens #birbz