The letter I'll Never Write To You.

Sometimes I get caught up. Lost in the memories and empty promises. Scooped up in all the words we should say more often. Fear, fear is the name I give this feeling tonight. Fear is what dictates those paths never taken. Being scared doesn’t reserve itself to dark rooms and quiet parking lots, it can make itself right at home in your own soul. Waiting. Patiently. Twiddling fingers until that one opportune moment of vulnerability rears it’s fucking ugly head. Life has so much potential outside of fear… outside of my head and the walls it carefully stacks to protect me. No foundation has ever been more sturdy than the barriers and trenches I have built to protect myself. But at what cost? What is the value of protection if you get hurt nonetheless.

What do I want? I want someone to surprise me by waiting for me when I land at the airport

That’s the problem with me. Logically I know when a relationship may or may not workout. But the being left is shattering to me. It’s something I can’t logically see through the broken pieces.