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Rules/Muses Here (subject to change)

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i am increasingly frustrated here. i’m not going to delete this blog but i’m going to put it on hiatus for a bit (probably delete most of my drafts) if anyone wants to write i’ll probably be easier to find on disc/ord so im me for that if we’re mutualsÂ
i’ll be on @resistanceheir
i am increasingly frustrated here. i’m not going to delete this blog but i’m going to put it on hiatus for a bit (probably delete most of my drafts) if anyone wants to write i’ll probably be easier to find on disc/ord so im me for that if we’re mutualsÂ
i’ll be on @resistanceheir
i am increasingly frustrated here. i’m not going to delete this blog but i’m going to put it on hiatus for a bit (probably delete most of my drafts) if anyone wants to write i’ll probably be easier to find on disc/ord so im me for that if we’re mutualsÂ
i’ll be on @resistanceheir
LEWIS TAN
Codladh Sámh (Wu Assassins 1x05).

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SANTIAGO CABRERA AS CRISTĂ“BAL RIOS STAR TREK: PICARD 1.06Â
choralsung​:
“YES, EVERYTHING’S… IT IS GOOD NEWS,”   it is glad news, but complicated in its nature. emboldened by the shut door, she dares a step closer to him and raises his hands to her lips.   “good   &   difficult in equal measure,”   it would be easier to simply tell him and explain away the minutiae once it was out in the open. especially considering she’d already thought of most of the solution. brushing a kiss against his knuckles she smiles wide, though knit eyebrows convey her hesitance in her excitement. lowering their hands again to be hidden.   “i am with child, again,”   certainly he understands her hesitance in this, she hopes. for various reasons beyond even just the weight of the public eye. she’d suffered too many miscarriages to allow her hopes to raise too high.   “i should’ve waited until tonight to tell you, but the physician just left, and…”   she blushes a little, amused with herself, distracting her eyes with their joined hands.   “and i might have been over - eager to tell you.”
his eyes soften when they’re alone, they always do, it’s taken him a while to learn to keep them guarded when the other ministers or courtiers are around. hiding any part of his heart, especially this considerable part, is not something that comes naturally to aramis. “i love good news.” they get so little of it most of the time. his thumb brushes along her hand, even this small touch still feels like a secret, sometimes dangerous and precious, but he wouldn’t drop her hand for anything. and when she speaks he inhales sharply, going incredibly still. “child?” the word is a whisper, no, it’s a prayer. one he had never actually thought to allow himself before. his hand pulls from her’s and lands on her stomach, though he knows he won’t feel anything. another child. “you’re certain?” he looks to her, eyes wide and shining like he is much younger than he actually is.Â
choralsung​:
A CHUCKLE SNORTS OUT OF HIM AT THAT.   begrudgingly, and without lifting his eyes to meet aramis’. he is resolute in his anger; at least until he’s given an apology, or an admittance to wrongdoing. athos and d’artagnan had been so easy in their reunions, as if aramis had never abandoned them, and acted as if he’d been silly for staying angry.   “that was never proven,”   he huffs, gaze still trained on the gun between his hands. afraid that he’d forgive him too quickly, should he look at him too long.   “besides, i’ve got four years of battle on you. had to get athos and d’artagnan out of some tough scrapes while you were off babysitting.”
he tries not to let his hurt shine through, it won’t do any good, and he doesn’t want porthos to forgive him because of guilt he wants that forgiveness because he’s made it up to. but it’s not as easy as that, not for aramis, because he believes that going to the church had been the right choice in that moment. he could not fully regret it, though he did regret leaving his friends to fight a war alone. he should have been with them. “you once said i was the best shot in the regiment, you may have forgotten but i certainly haven’t.” he says the words fondly, the memory of that day colored beautifully in his mind despite the fact that they had, in fact, been torturing someone. “babysitting requires a lot of aim and patience, especially with kids like those.” he is still protective of his charges. “would you like a competition?”Â
New style alert
                            WITH WIND AND GOLD
indie/private by west

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“Are you happy?”
Anna Karénina (2013)
S03E06
swanode​:
She really doesn’t know what to do, how to respond. Why does this have to be so damn complicated? She loves him, and she always will, but he’d broken her heart. But then there’s their daughter. Angelique is clinging to her skirts, staring up at her father with wide brown eyes. Odette thinks she looks more and more like Aramis every day, and it’s bittersweet. At least nobody has questioned her parentage yet. Why would they, when nobody but a few of Odette’s most trusted friends and servants knew of her affair with Aramis? She stays silent for a few moments, looking down at her daughter before looking back up at Aramis. “I… I missed you. I didn’t think it was possible to miss someone so much,” she says before sighing softly. “I suppose you should meet your daughter.”
he loved her so much it was like a physical pain to be separated from her. but he had believed, truly believed, that it was what god had wanted for him, for all of them, in that moment. who was he to deny god’s will? his belief was strong, always had been, even if he was no destined to serve the church, it was still strong. but if that was not what he was meant to do, if he was here to be a soldier for france, does that mean he is still allowed to love her? he hopes so. reaching out, his hand goes to her cheek, just resting their gently, before his attention is drawn to the child at her feet. breath explodes from him, somewhere between a sigh and sob, and he goes down to his knee in front of her. “hello, little one.” he stays where he is despite the desire to wrap his arms around her. she looks so much like him, like his mother, but he sees so much of odette in her it takes his breath away. “my name is aramis.”
swanode​:
Eyes close for a moment as she takes a deep breath. She doesn’t doubt his words for a second; she knows that he’d take her way from here the second she asks him to. Having someone who loves her so much is thrilling. But what would happen if they did run away? She can imagine it now: no more hiding, a home, a family. It’s what she wants more than anything. She wants him more than anything. But she can’t leave. She can’t do that to her father. It would break his heart. She’s the only person he has left after her mother’s death, and she can’t just leave him. Aramis can understand that, can’t he? He has his own responsibilities with the Musketeers. She couldn’t ask him to leave them behind. A soft sigh leaves her lips as he tucks her hair behind her ear, and she gently takes hold of his hand. “I can’t, Aramis. Where would we even go?”
even as he’d said it he knew it wasn’t possible. not really. they could physically leave, make a new life, but part of them would always be in paris. and what would happen as the years went on? would they grow to resent the lives they had to give up for one another? aramis is certain that he would always love her, but he also loves being a musketeer, and he loves this city. he wouldn’t be happy in a quite, slow place. and he doubted odette would either. they needed the noise and people of this place, they just want it together. but they could imagine, couldn’t they? leaning down, he pressed his lips to her cheek, wrapping his arm around her waist to pull her against his chest. “i don’t know, somewhere warm and sunny.”

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