We're Starfleet officers. Weird is part of the job

One of the illustrations of my J/C 10 pages of full-color illustrations by yours truly. Get it on:

Torres, eyeing Murphy like he’s a snack: Damn Seska: Murphy better run. Torres: He’s dating a Delaney sister. Seska: Not anymore. Dumb and Dumber called dibs. Torres: Harry, is it true you about you two and the Delaney sisters- Kim: Tom, what the fuck did you tell people? Paris: You and Jenny disappeared on a gondola in Venice. Kim: And nothing happened! Torres: Spill Kim: …I fell out of the gondola. Kim: I was betrayed by gravity. Paris: Dude was worried Jenny was gonna eat him alive.

Janeway: Aw, look, Tuvok, the kids are bonding. Tuvok: Statistically, gossip increases efficiency. Janeway: I love science.

Chakotay: Captain, distress call incoming. Janeway: Great. Who’s dying now?

Gath: Hello, strangers. You are in distress. Janeway: …We’re not. Gath: But we sent a distress call. Janeway: Why? Gath: Because you are distressed. Janeway: I mean, emotionally, very, yes, but— Gath: Let me aboard. I have gifts! Janeway: …Tell me more?

Janeway: You didn’t need to cook for us. Gath: I insist. I love feeding strangers. Neelix: But Captain, I’m serving lunch soon. Janeway: Neelix, hush. Let the man cook.

Gath: We heard stories about you. Lost, lonely, traumatised. Janeway: Accurate. Janeway: Tuvok, shore leave improves efficiency, right? Tuvok: Indeed. Janeway: We’re going.

Gath: Pick anything you like. Janeway: This fabric is delicate. Gath: It’s made from moonlight flowers. Want a dress? Janeway: No. Gath: A negligee? Janeway: A scarf. Gath: You are astonishingly difficult to seduce.

Kim: That’s beautiful. Eudana: It’s a weather sensor. Kim: Non-linear resonance? Eudana: Are you a scientist? Kim: Worse - I’m a nerd. Eudana: Show me your stories. Kim: … My what? Eudana: Come with me. To a private place. Kim: Did I just get lucky?

Kim: Where are we? Eudana: Alastria. Kim: Where is that? Eudana: Half a galaxy, far, far away... Eudana: Feel the breeze. Kim: I’m calling my boss.

Janeway: I lost track of time. Gath: Because you’re enjoying yourself. Janeway: I am. Gath: *leans in for a kiss* Kim: CAPTAIN. Janeway: I WASN'T CHEATING ON MARK! Kim: …What? Janeway: What?

Kim: They have a space-folding platform. Janeway: What? Kim: It does the wibbly wobbly, without the timey wimey. Gath: We just call it a spatial trajector. Janeway: Can we use it? Gath: No. Kim: But— Gath: Still No. Janeway: Why? Gath: Laws. Kim: Your laws suck. Gath: Our laws don't care.

Janeway: This is what aliens feel like when we say no. Paris: Even we think the Prime Directive is dumb sometimes. Tuvok: Maybe “no” means “negotiate.” Torres: Maybe they want something. Kim: They consume stories like they're crack. Janeway: Perfect. We’ll offer then our fanfiction archive.

Gath: This pie is exquisite. Janeway: Pecan. Gath: I want the recipe. Janeway: If you want my pie, you'll have to give me the trajector. Gath: No. Janeway: What if you send us? Gath: Maybe. I’ll ask the Magistrates. Janeway: Good. Eat your pie.

Torres: Carey. Carey: Yeah? Torres: Want to illegally reverse-engineer alien technology? Carey: I’m thought you'd never ask. Seska: Count me in. Let’s do crime.

Jaret: I’ll give you the trajector matrix. Kim: Let me talk to my boss. Jaret: Please just take the damn thing. Stories are narcotics to us. Kim: … Jaret: I want to be a drug dealer.

Kim: I don’t know what to do. Seska: Take it. Torres: Without permission? Seska: Permission is for losers.

Janeway: Tuvok, what do I do? Tuvok: Two choices: shady man or other shady man. Janeway: I hate this fucking quadrant. Tuvok: Determine if Gath will help. Janeway: He won’t. Tuvok: Then you know your answer. Janeway: I hate logic.

Janeway: Did you ask the Magistrates? Gath: No. Janeway: Gath: I was distracted. Janeway: By? Gath: You. Janeway: That's not flattering. Gath: Stay forever. Janeway: You'll get bored of me in a week. Gath: But I intend to seduce you. Janeway: Congratulations. Janeway: You've achieved the opposite.

Seska: We downloaded the fanfic. Ayala's written some spicy stuff. Torres: We’re under orders. Seska: Orders are optional. Torres: Fine. Let’s do it. Tuvok: Halt. I shall commit the crime personally. Torres: You were going to download the fanfic? Tuvok: Yes. Torres: Hypocrite. Tuvok: Correct.

Tuvok: Don’t activate it until I speak to the captain. Seska: Eat shit and die, Tuvok. I know what I'm doing. Seska: Actually… I may not know what I'm doing. Janeway: B'Elanna, what the fuck are you doing down there in Engineering? B'Elanna: Panicking… why? Seska: I can fix it

BOOM!

Seska: Actually, no I can't Seska: Where's the recycle bin on this computer? B'Elanna: Seska, bestie… B'Elanna: I'm replacing you with Carey. Seska: I have never been so insulted.

Torres: This one's on me, Captain. Tuvok: Incorrect. It is on me. Janeway: YOU? Tuvok: I conducted the illegal exchange. They are most intrigued by the Omegaverse Janeway: …I'll get back to you in a minute, Tuvok. Janeway: B'Elanna. Torres: Yes, Captain? Janeway: You're on spectacularly thin ice.

Kim: I found a wormhole. Janeway: A wormhole? Tuvok: Statistically, it’s 75% likely to be useless. Janeway: Which means 25% not useless! Paris: If this works, can we name it after Harry? Kim: Only if we must

Kim: So uh, the wormhole is… teeny tiny. Paris: Harry's hole is small! Janeway: but it may be perfectly formed, size isn't everything! Paris: But we can't fit Voyager in it. Tuvok: But we could send a message through. Janeway: We’re officially texting the universe. Launch a probe Paris: Mission "probing Harry's Hole" is a go

Kim: The probe is stuck. Paris: Does it hurt? Janeway: Shut up, Tom. What do you mean it's stuck? Kim: Like… “never getting out” stuck. Janeway: Give it time. Kim: Captain, it just got scanned. Janeway: …By who? Kim: I don’t know, but someone’s poking our probe. Paris: Sounds exciting, Harry!

Baxter: I can't get laid so I'm going to stupidly exercise myself to death. But I'm smart - I'll kill myself through injury and not exertion. EMH: Well, that's a new low for stupidity on this ship, and the bar was already touching the earth. Baxter: Kes, can't you just treat me? Kes: No, the EMH is the Doctor. Baxter: But I prefer you. Kes: Noted, and the answer is still no.

Kes: People are rude to the Doctor. Janeway: So what? I'm rude to it too. Kes: He’s alive! Janeway: Dear sweet summer child... He’s a hologram. Kes: And? Janeway: …And you're making me feel bad.

Tuvok: It's a Romulan that's probing our probe. Janeway: Lemme talk to him Tuvok: If we must Janeway: Hi Romulan dude.. We’re in the Delta Quadrant. Romulan: No you’re not. Janeway: Yes we are. Romulan: No you're not. Janeway: Yes we are. Romulan: No you're not. Janeway: Sir, we are literally 70,000 light years away. Romulan: Fake news. Goodbye.

Kim: Captain, the Romulan in my Hole wants to talk to you. Janeway: Okay, push him through. Romulan: Sorry I called you fake news. Janeway: I've been called worse. Janeway: Mind if I share with you my crew's collective sob stories? I'm also sat here feeling lonely in a pink negligee if that imagery makes us seem more vulnerable? Romulan: I… don't know how to respond to that Janeway: I've also let down my long, flowing auburn locks just for the occasion Romulan: …That's sweetened the deal. I'm lonely on this little ship. Janeway: Can we dump our mail with you then for our families to collect? Romulan: Only if I get to read all your letters Janeway: Read everyone’s but Baxter’s... unless you want psychological damage. Romulan: You've got a deal

Torres: Captain, completely forgetting the fact that there is a canonically established way to make us all teeny tiny enough to fit in Harry's hole, I think we might be able to transport through it instead. Janeway: Sounds preferrable to squeezing through there. Let's do it!

Kes: We might be getting home soon. EMH: I can't wait to see Earth! Kes: We're leaving you here to perish EMH: Well then, everyone can just live fast and get fucked, or whatever

Torres: We’re ready to beam the Romulan aboard. Tuvok: *sigh* Janeway: Energise. Romulan: *materialises* Janeway: Welcome to the Delta Quadrant. Romulan: …Ew, a Vulcan. Tuvok: Captain… Please look at those shoulder pads so I do not have to, and ask him what year it is. Janeway: What year is it? Romulan: 2351 Tuvok: I knew it, those shoulder pads are so two decades ago

Torres: So… good news and bad news. Kim: Bad news first. Torres: If we transport through the wormhole, we arrive twenty years in the past. Kim: Great. Let’s do it. Paris: Harry, you’d be TWO. Kim: I’m willing to make sacrifices. Janeway: No. Absolutely not. Time travel chaos is not on today’s menu.

Janeway: We can’t go back. Timeline pollution. Catastrophic consequences. Probably explosions. And I have a feeling that someone called Braxton might try to murder me if I try that. (How do I know that?) Romulan: I could warn Starfleet in twenty years? Chakotay: Fuck that, I'm not going to jail. Janeway: Seconded. The only person putting handcuffs on Chakotay is me. Romulan: So… just the letters then then? Janeway: Just the letters.

Tuvok: Here are our messages. Romulan: I wish you luck. Torres: Transporting now. Torres: Transport complete. Janeway: Excellent. Everyone can relax. Their messages are safe. Tuvok: No they're not. The dude's dead. Tuvok: Absolutely typical Romulan behaviour. So unreliable. Janeway: Shit, well... fuck it. Let's keep moving.

Baxter: I hurt myself working out again. EMH: Then stop doing that. Baxter: But I need to work out. EMH: You are such a fucking ass. I'm not paid enough to deal with your bullshit. Baxter: …Sorry? EMH: That's sorry Mister Doctor Sir, thank you.

Guess what…

I have the links to “Lovespell” 1981

AND

“The Manions of America” 1981

So yeah I think the Janeway we meet in the first season is most definitely the kind of person to wear romantic hair with a pink night gown. She’s a starfleet captain as a job, but she’s as soft as can be in her personal life.

I'm just gonna say it. I'm sick of this idea that people who don't uncritically love Janeway (or Kate Mulgrew's performance) must be raging misogynists. This is Baby's First Feminism thinking. Girlboss Gatekeep Gaslight feminism. "Lean in" feminism. Marketplace feminism. It's nonsense, basically. "Oh here's a woman and she's in charge, how feminist."

There's lots to like about Janeway. The Katherine Hepburn vibe really does it for some people. I would be remiss not to mention her great-looking arms, beloved by lesbians everywhere. I think Mulgrew is the only captain who nails her performance in the first season, and she did it under somewhat shitty circumstances - coming in late after the previous actor bailed, having people fuck about with her hair all the time, being away from her kids, etc.

This does not mean everyone has to like her. Voyager has always had problems with character arcs (namely in not deciding if it wants to have them), and its not surprising that complaint would be amplified with the character who gets most screentime. For me, I find it jarring that Janeway goes back and forth between someone who is immovable on her Starfleet ideals one week, and someone who will bend the rules beyond all recognition the next. Whichever direction she's going in, there's never any humility and precious little reflection. She mistakes overconfidence for strength.

I don't like her "mentoring" relationship with Seven. It seems to me that Janeway is trying to remake Seven in her own image, rather than letting Seven figure out who she is for herself. I don't like the decision Janeway makes to work with the Borg (and yes I feel it's justified to call it genocide). I do not like the Tuvix resolution. I don't like her decision that the giant PTSD machine they find in one episode should be left in tact to traumatise more people. I know people will disagree with me on some or all of these things and that's fine, but to conclude that someone must be misogynist to dislike these actions is just a bizarre argument.

Do you really think nobody is looking at Picard like "are you really gonna let that whole planet of people die out, baldo?" You've never heard anyone complain about Sisko poisoning a planet because some guy wouldn't shut up about Les Miserables? You really think Trek fans, one of the most overanalytical fandoms you can imagine, has never been able to find fault with James T Kirk? We don't need to turn to misogyny for an explanation here, people judge Janeway cos she does bad things.

I'm sure some people don't like her just because she's a woman. Probably. The reality is Voyager never faced the kindness of "it's wokeness out of control" backlash that new Trek shows have faced. Fan hysteria in those days did not compare. I remember nobody complaining about a woman captain and everyone saying "this is boring."

She doesn't have to be likable all the time. On the contrary - that would bother me!