How to Become a Real Woman? An Article for Dummies, by a Biological Woman
To answer this question—and because I’m learning to write long, well-argued essays—we’ll turn to various descriptions of what a woman is. As someone who’s spent time in groups with an excess or moderate amount of trans women, Let's take.
1) «The Female Soul.» This is a description I’ve often heard from lesbians. Just an observation. It’s kinda poetic stuff.
But if we think clearly, what the hell is a "soul"? Is this Christianity? As a biological woman, I can say I have neither a female soul, nor a male soul, nor any soul at all. Why? Because my soul is my brain. I’m not governed by some transparent little human living inside my ribs or a gnome-like entity. I’m governed by my brain, and my brain alone.
Okay, even if we assume souls exist and can differ from the body, how do you determine your soul’s sex? Does it wear a bow like in some video game or cartoon? What happens to the soul after death? Can someone at least explain the rules of this religion?
2) "Feeling Like a Woman." At first, I considered merging the first and second points, but the first one has a religious, poetic vibe. As a biological woman, I don’t "feel like a woman." Like, at all. Because I don’t know what it means to feel like a woman (or a man, or anything else). Just like I don’t know how to "feel light-skinned." It’s just how I was born. There’s no sensation here—it’s a fact.
The best we can do is guess what this "feeling" means. Does it mean "wanting to wear makeup, dresses, and watch rom-coms"? Well, buddy, in that case, I should’ve been born in makeup, a dress, and holding popcorn so I could immediately start watching How I Met Your Mother (4.5/10, by the way).
3) Biological Reasons. Nobody talks about biological reasons. The least popular reason. The idea here is that men and women have differently shaped or sized brains (sound familiar?). But it’s a weak argument—probably why it’s so unpopular. If we assume it’s true, then why do we determine a baby’s sex by looking between their legs during an ultrasound instead of scanning their brain? Usually, these brain differences correspond to body size differences. But what if I told you brain mass can also depend on neurological conditions? Why aren’t teens sorted into "male" or "female" categories based on brain size during puberty? What about naturally large people? What about non-binary folks? Their brains don’t just disappear. Or is there a non-binary brain now?
You might ask: "But how can this be, Lovelycranium? Where are women's descriptions that you promised?" Honestly, because there are no clear descriptions in gender spaces. They might say it’s "people who identify as women," but the methods of that identification are never specified.
To clarify what "being a woman" actually means, we can turn directly to the trans community.
1) Hunter’s Words. I definitely don’t keep up with his work. And this character’s lines make me react like: "😦❓❓❓". One Wikipedia page says it all, but the most interesting part was:
"My gender was so influenced by a need to be used by men. My sexual orientation was not gay, it was not straight, it was an attraction, is an attraction, always to misogyny. Not feeling femme enough w/o being a victim of rape. The idea of being eaten used to arouse me."
Absolute cinema. Do I even need to point out what’s wrong here?
Let’s assume most trans people don’t feel this way. Then why hasn’t Hunter been canceled for this? Why hasn’t he been called transphobic? Because, I suspect, this is considered normal for them.
Does this mean that, for them, "being a woman" means being a victim of male sexual violence? Wonderful. Meanwhile, as a biological woman, I somehow don’t want to be a victim of sexual violence—or any violence, for that matter.
2) «Women Are Unicorns, Men Are Dragons» I stumbled upon this comic back before I wrote radfem posts. It’s pretty popular on Tumblr—maybe you’ve seen it. If not, you can look it up; it won’t take long. The author (presumably a biological woman, because I refuse to believe a man would identify himself as a unicorn) metaphorically explains the concept of "dysphoria." They start by saying dragons are usually cruel but can be gentle, while unicorns are usually kind but can be dangerous. The author, as a unicorn, doesn’t fit in with other unicorns and sometimes wishes to be a dragon. A brilliant analogy. Standing ovation, please. But… there’s one problem.
Men and women are not different biological species.
In that case, they should’ve made everyone either dragons or unicorns. The only differences between men and women are body size (not always), secondary sex characteristics, and primary ones (and even then, not always, but usually).
Also, this comic perfectly illustrates why gender is a social construct. Because it’s all about failing to fit in. You’re a goddamn unicorn, creator—snap out of it. Mabel from Gravity Falls is coming for you. You can do magic, you can vanish into the woods. But no, dragons are cooler… they like fly and breathe fire.
So what’s the conclusion? To be a woman, you have to be born a woman. It’s that simple.