I don’t care.
I don’t care about my weight. Because I know if I get thinner, people will just start to want me for my body. And why does it always have to be about what I look like? Even my grandmother pointed my flaw in my weight comparing me to my mother. It’s all about looks with this family. Do I find love this way? I will never find true love that way.
I don’t care about money. If I marry into someone rich they’re too busy with their wealth and have no time for anything else that they spend their money on. Or they may flaunt about their own intellect of achieving said wealth. Do I find love this way? They’ll shower me with their wealth but deep down, they only fill their loneliness with what money can buy.
I don’t care about being politically active, have a lot of hobbies, does church and leader things, or just a great person in general. If you don’t have an ounce of care, not a good listener, can’t commit fully, is not consistent in their actions and promises, what good is it then to stay around you? Till when can love endure? Till when can we learn until we become numb? Till when can growth be made?
I hope I don’t act like my past lovers and the persons who have hurt me. I hope I don’t carry on their way of life and their thinking. God damn this anger management of my father, carelessness of my mother, lack of communication of my crush and the lack of commitment from my first boyfriend. I can see myself hurting and that hurt people hurt others.
I hope you hold on to who you really are. I hope you grow to be better than those who have hurt you. I hope you grow flowers in the brokenness of your own heart. And the things that were once empty stems a beautiful bud that blooms in life.

















