Arc Your Back

It's been 3 weeks. Please comeback

I was an avid reader. I could read 2 books every week when I was younger. I'd pick them at the local library and return them so late they'd start threatening me to cancel my membership. The last book I red and let myself be consumed by was The Kite Runner by Albert Camus. Isabelle gave it to me. It destroyed me. I remember balling my eyes out while trying to finish the last 7 pages. And if I'm being honest, I dont remember reading through them. That book gutted me so much that I haven's read a book since. It's been at least 8 years. But this week, I got invaded, once again, by a wave of that sadness. And when that happens, my usual gym rituals cant shake off the blues. And so I thought, maybe i need to stop releasing this gripping pain that is making itself a more frequent visitor. I thought, maybe it's time I read again. And so, I ordered L'etranger by Albert Camus from Amazon. I'll get his book and take it with me to the cafe. and get back to reading, in french and get back to seating with the pain.

I told Julia once that I felt like I've seen you before or I've always known you. And she said, its not crazy to think that way because according to her, it all goes down to my desire of wanting to connect that transcends into deeper meanings. But I swear to God I've known you in a past life.

and a moustache? Come visit me in any form, my love, I will find the courage.

This is my 5th day without smoking or drinking. I've been sick with a cold for the past couple of days so maybe thats why I haven't had the urge to consume anything. But it's been great to go to bed without feeling the need that I have to wind down by having a glass of negroni and a cigarette. I wake up feeling less tired. I'm waiting for my washing machine to be fixed tomorrow so I can go back to working out again. I know that will help overcome my urges a lot. On the same topic, I was reflecting on what other bad habits I need to let go off. And eating out is top of my list. I work from home and live alone. So I realised that the most human / non work interactions I will have are with the barista at my local cafes or servers at restaurants. So ultimately, nurturing those connection comes with a daily cost. Unfortunately, it's not sustainable. I'm not ready to give up on the daily cafe, but I want to cut out the eating out completely. It's so hard as an adult who move into a new city in my late 20's to make new friends. Especially London. I managed to make some great ones but It's not the same as in Montreal. I liked going to my group fitness classes and it was very fulfilling to gather with familiar faces every week. The Gym closed down after 3 years and I can't think of another place that would offer me the same community based feeling. Im looking to join tennis classes through Victoria's park program. We'll see how it goes.

I thought long about what I wanted to accomplish in 2026 and tbh, I already feel so blessed that asking for more feels like greed. I guess I'd be endlessly appreciative to God if this year I can maintain the level of peace and content I managed to achieve by the end of 2025. Additionally, I'd like to ask God to help me find the strength to get rid of any negative habits I picked up while navigating hardships in 2025. Smoking, drinking to sooth mild anxiety and hanging around people that may shift me from my wellbeing. And always, to keep my loved ones healthy, happy and alive. Thank you

like God intended to