dans le feu de l'action

Audre Lorde, Sister Outsider

Did you forget?

Who is he? Eyes shut, always down Who is he? Lingering fog, all around He is in the third person, unrecognizable to even himself. Can’t speak, can’t write, can’t rhyme, can’t think Hunting for metaphors, fishing for similes Like a sailor without a compass Guided only by the stars above Like incandescent points of clarity in his consciousness Glimpses of a life where he knows himself And can say, “I think. I love. I am.”

It rolls in like it always does And a shiver runs down my back Front and forward facing, I try to fix my gaze Days go by, then weeks, and it lingers Tendrils and fingers reach, surround until there's nothing else Can't tell where to go, or if should move at all Or if I even want to Because to be honest, I kind of like what it does to me I know this... I feel it It touches me, activates me, challenges me, brings me back to life and back to fire I don't want it to go away I want this fog to stay.

Attention Or lack thereof Is how we measure our worth Freely given, and valued so much Too much Very much the new currency The public realm brought to a bite-sized feed Digestible, consumable morcels Too delicious to turn away from, so I follow them into the night. Pretty soon, I can hear a call, a warning As if lost in the woods, I go in circles The trees are all the same - black. But I'm still following them into the night. I'm insatiable. Another call, another warning. No matter. I've already lost myself.

refresh Self-flagellation by social media Instantly and simultaneously gratifying and bludgeoning the sharp edge of the lacking Every strand of the web serves as another Reminder of how small the world is And how smaller still I feel in it This feels terrible But I can’t stop refresh I need to know who you are.