All Things Naughty NSFW

You know, depression really sucks. Alot of people get depressed and have anywhere from mild to chronic depression. And nobody can say they know how you feel. Even if they have depression themselves, because its never the same with anyone. Due to the underlying causes, events, problems, ect. That each individual has. Me personally, i suck, my life sucks. And im normally depressed 98% of the time. And 89% of the time is at the point of suicide, even though I'm smiling and eager to help someone out. I cant fix my problems. I dont know where to begin. So why do you think im so happy to help others? Not becauae i can afford to, it's taking my mind off my only solution to my problems. SUICIDE! Ohhh! Now a light comes on.

I have major PTSD. From both my childhood and the military. I have bipolar 1 with psychotic tendancies. And Agoraphobia with mass panic attacks that either put me in a fight or flight psychosis. If i cant controll it then i black out and by no conscious thought on my own will seriously hurt or kill untill i can get away from where it started. Or i panic out to the point of cardiac arrest. Either way i get hospitalized. I've attempted suicide 11 times. I was found dead 3 times but they were able to recesitate me. I've made a fool of myself for failing cause i know what ppl think of me just for trying and not succeding. Looking for sympathy. Wrong.

I could care less and dont need pity.