give me something pretty to wear beneath my bloodstained clothes

i hate that diet culture means all the tasty drinks everywhere are loaded with stevia now. this isn't even a stance about health, I just think it tastes so fucking bad

"wtf is an egg laying kink?" my friend... I don't know how else to tell you this.... but it is all quite literally in the name

look at me. look me in my eyes. there are brave souls out here contemplating the eroticism of greasing a bike chain. we can't be gawking at every kink this side of light spanking or we'll be here all day

back in my undergrad I heard my 19 year old roommates tittering about sexy halloween costumes and ribbed condoms. one of them thought I was some kind of pervert bc I knew what furries were. they didn't even know what knotting was

sneezes really hard and an egg shoots out of me while punching a hole clean through my panties and jeans, ricochets off the ground and re-enters me perfectly

actually the way society hates both perverts and asexuals is kinda funny. Real "Anyone who thinks about sex more than I do is a porn-addicted degenerate and anyone who thinks about sex less than I do is a loser weirdo or a puritan" energy