You can't Beat the Best

"You still have four questions you can't lie on, huh? I guess this makes three now, though. Or I could play nice and add more to this and save you the trouble."

“That makes two now, yeah? So one’s left, but I thought this was your set of fraggin’ questions, not mine? That sounds like slag worded like that. You better appreciate this.”

Tracks had a broken spark, some fragged-over feelings, and had the roughest two months of his entire life behind him already over. There were more to come, but for now, as he stared at Sunny, listening to his words, from what the other mech said it seemed the golden frontliner was having a rougher time with this than he was, and will have a rougher time as it progresses. As Sunny spoke, bellowed, barked, and yelled at him, Tracks stood there and listened. The more Sunny spoke, the less the noble new what to say. The more Sunny spoke, the less Tracks was able to be angry with him.

Those two words cut sharply, a snarl building in the gold mech's throat til it was cut down in an instant. Sunstreaker froze. Caught in the kiss, his frame completely stilled, optics wide, but unseeing. That fear that always existed still lingered, hidden and nervous as a newspark, even though he'd done and seen worse. Even if he had found his freedom, his continued life was no promise. It was this that made him edgy, always looking for doubt and lies like what he had always been fed.

"TELLING ME WOULD HAVE MADE ME NOT WORRY!" the noble bellowed back, though his anger was fading, optics still pelting out tears. The noble was gaining more desperation, more need, more want as he stood here, staring at his former bonded. "Telling me would have made me not panic when you were gone so long — telling me would have prevented me from hurting so damn badly!"

Sunstreaker shook his helm, "No. You would have been pissed. You would have NEVER let me walk off to that if you knew it had a chance to kill me. And now, yet again, I'm stuck here. Bending to what YOU want! I have half a processor to make the choice FOR you! I didn't say slag when you wanted to go mess with other mecha. OR when you tried to hook me and Blaster up for YOUR fun. I let you do it! Cause you held so much over me! Love or not, do you have any fragging clue how it feels to go your whole EXISTENCE with your LIFE in someone elses SERVOS!"

Sunstreaker’s own plating bristled up with a snarl of his own. “This is me not being a primus fragged, glitch! Me with a kinda whole spark now, that at least won’t KILL me or send me into NEEDY fits of malice and biting! Or needy fits of longing for HIM! THAT’S WHAT I FRAGGING DID, YOU AFT! Purged him! Excuse me that it’s finally about you for once!”

That was a surprise, something he clearly wasn’t expecting. Sideswipe had returned, so the only thing the noble could think about as that Sunny had run off to be with his twin, to abandon Tracks. The noble figured that Sunny had left him to fend for himself, that he didn’t care about their bond, or what it meant.

"Cause I didn't know if I'd survive it or not!" The gold mech hissed back, lipplates curling in a growl. "I'm fragged up and I know it! I've known it! It's like breaking something stronger than a gestalt bond. From what I figured the worst would be I go insane at the loss and crush my own spark! Of course, PRIMUS FUCKING FORBID, I do anything without telling you! Even if it's FOR YOU!"

"I DONT KNOW WHAT THIS IS ANY MORE!" Tracks bellowed, positively upset and torn that Sunny wasn’t as affected by this as he is. He wanted to tell Sunny to leave, and never come back, wanted to punch him in the faceplates …. But, oh, the invitation to stay was so easy. It was right there. The could bond again, they could be happy …. But what if Sunny ran away again? He’d already done it twice.

Sunstreaker's own plating bristled up with a snarl of his own. "This is me not being a primus fragged, glitch! Me with a kinda whole spark now, that at least won't KILL me or send me into NEEDY fits of malice and biting! Or needy fits of longing for HIM! THAT'S WHAT I FRAGGING DID, YOU AFT! Purged him! Excuse me that it's finally about you for once!"

"Not anymore. I got that fixed." Rising to his pedes, the gold mech shrugged, rather calm despite the yelling. "Wasn’t fragging fair you got saddled with me. Just so I could keep going. So. I went and got it fixed. Spark’s stable on it’s own now. Hurts like frag, but being unbound won’t kill me anymore at least."

Tracks’ spark twisted in its casing, feeling like it was trying to burst out. Really, though, it was, as it could sense the other half that it had lost nearby, and wanted it back. It hurt terribly to see Sunny before him and not be able to feel him. Tracks wanted to hit him. To beat him into a pulp, to hurt Sunny as much as Sunny had hurt him. He wanted Sunny gone, out of his life, out of his existence.

Sunstreaker's help tilted, "Loved. As in, used to love." A soft snort escaped him. "I did this cause I wanted to be sure. Sucks, yeah. And if you wanna hate me that's fine too. I'm not a liability anymore. I'm not weak anymore. I don't need to beg and grope for a bonding every week cause my spark wants to die if I don't get it."

Tracks couldn’t decide if he wanted to be angry that Sunny left him, or relieved that he returned, or upset that their bond broke, or pissed that he hurt so much. All he knew was that his spark was tying itself in knots right now and he could feel its beat thrumming faster.

"Not anymore. I got that fixed." Rising to his pedes, the gold mech shrugged, rather calm despite the yelling. "Wasn't fragging fair you got saddled with me. Just so I could keep going. So. I went and got it fixed. Spark's stable on it's own now. Hurts like frag, but being unbound won't kill me anymore at least."

A hiss was the first response as the lights flickered to life, only serving to make the gold mech duck under the covers to avoid them with a growl. "Turn that slag off." His helm ached terribly, spark even more, but that he could live with. At least now he could.