I Just Want To Be Happy

What is it like? To laugh next to someone you love until it’s time to fall asleep next to them. What joy it must bring

There’s always someone better. I’ll never compare. If I can’t be that to someone what’s the point of me? I want to disappear. Being forgotten will be easier that way.

I am such a fucking waste of space

I AM SO TIRED OF CRYING ALONE

Why am I so fucking insufferable?

I’m afraid

I’m sorry my struggles aren’t the same as yours. I’m sorry I’m not relatable anymore. I used to text you nonstop years ago. We would text every day. What happened? I miss you. Even though I see you all the time. You have formed connections tighter than ours. Im happy for you. You deserve it. But I miss you. Im sorry if I’m just annoying nowadays.

Do you hate me? Has my charm finally worn off? Have you had enough of me? I’m sorry. I wish I wasn’t this way. I wish we were as close as we were back then. But you don’t seem to remember those times as fondly as me.

Talking to her never helps. I go over there I break down and I know it’s a mistake but I CANT break down to anyone else. Me and her are just parasites holding on to each other until we have nothing left.

So fucking hilarious that my mom calls me in the middle of a panic attack.

I’m doing bad I’m doing bad I’m doing bad. I want to scream HELP ME but what good will that do? My chest is so tight I can barely breathe. I can’t ask for help because then I’m a bother. I want to cry but my face is stuck in a mask of no emotion

I’m not going to kill myself because I’m not a narc but like I’d love it if someone ended my suffering

Forgot I made this blog but ho boy how little things change

Everything I draw is so flat. So devoid of life. I want to be better. I practice and I don’t get better. What’s wrong with me?

What can you say to someone after they relapsed? I could really use whatever that is right about now