In The Wings

Mid December is always a weird time for me.

It's the period of time when I try to get BACK into the Christmas spirit.

One is because my children are no longer children. The excitement of Santa is no longer there. You worry more about getting the appropriate, memorable gifts.

The other is the fact that Nutcracker is OVER.

I've posted before that Nutcracker week is magical to me. Once it's over, the holiday season seems somewhat anti-climatic. And here lately, trying to come up with memorable new family traditions seems a little forced.

Nutcracker withdrawals this time was interrupted by sickness. Driving home from our final performance I began to feel my throat becoming a little scratchy. And I felt chills.

For a chunk of last week, I was completely slammed with the crud, not a fun feeling, especially when I had to work the latter part of the week without being fully recovered.

Dance classes at the end of the week were a bit sluggish because I was in recovery mode. Finally felt the energy coming back yesterday when I took both morning and night ballet classes (and amazingly did better in the more advanced night class, go figure).

As for Nutcracker, it was an amazing experience, maybe moreso this year than others. Loved doing all three of my roles in all eight shows, but my legs were SORE throughout the latter part of the performances. And a find myself a little more fatigued ... but I seemed to get my second wind as the performances came to a close.

Tweaked the choreography with my part of the Chinese dance, and the changes met with the approval of the artistic director. I worried a little he might not be pleased, but we are always encouraged to go for broke.

"Gone Wild" evidently turned into a crowd pleaser. Even the party scene was much more funnier than I think most of us would imagine. The reviewer in the paper praised the show. The crowd for it wasn't as large as I think we were hoping, but maybe it will become an annual addition. Incidently, I sort of went on stage in the party scene in drag, not something that was originally planned, but when I was taking part in the "Ladies" or "Mothers" dance, the makeup lady got a little carried away.

And finally, a note from yesterday morning's class: There were eight of us. Four adults. Four company kids. I was called an "advanced dancer" by the ballet mistress, who subbed, and was urged to do what the company kids did instead of what the more beginner adults were doing. 

Sometime around 9:30 tomorrow morning, the orchestra will begin to play.

My heart will begin to pound as its done about 30 times before in the past six years.

And I will step onto a stage in front of an audience of about 2,000 school children who will fill nearly every seat in the Von Braun Center's Mark. C. Smith Concert Hall.

The butterflies have never really gone away since the first time I performed in The Nutcracker in 2007. They do settle down once I'm finally out there in character -- as a father during the party scene, the magical bed during the battle scene, or my favorite role as part of the Chinese lion during the second act.

The butterflies are just part of the magic that makes me feel like a kid again.

The very notion of being out there performing in front of more than 10,000 people in a four day period is something I would have laughed at a few years ago. 

It still shocks people who know me, especially those who've known me from my sports writing days.

I am a shy, quiet person by nature. Whether I'm at work, or in a social setting, I'm more comfortable in the background. I've never been the "look at me, I'm the center of attention" type of person.

But in a one minute dance in the second act, especially during the school shows, when you are the Chinese lion, you are the center of attention. You are a rock star. And it's one of the most amazing feelings in the world.

It gives me an idea of how those hundreds of athletes I covered for so many years must of felt playing in a championship game. For a dancer, The Nutcracker is our Super Bowl.

The reason I'll be out there on stage for eight performances between tomorrow and Sunday is because I was bit a few years by the ballet bug. Many men hunt, fish, play golf or softball. I dance, and if you dance, there's always a chance you'll bit by the performance bug.

So you can say I've been bit twice.

And when it comes Nutcracker, I am in complete awe of the whole process. Most people in the audience have no idea what goes into putting on a massive production like Nutcracker.

You have tech people working behind the scenes on lighting, sound, set building, props. The few younger volunteers have children in the show. The older members of the tech crew, their children have long finished dancing. Some have been doing their jobs since I was an infant.

You have wardrobe people, makeup people. You have parent volunteers herding a large number of young children involved in the production. And I have no clue the hours put in by the Huntsville Symphony Orchestra to make sure our music sounds just right.

Then there are the dancers themselves, my mostly much younger, much more talented peers. They put in a lot of hours to make sure the art they put on stage is something beautiful that the audience enjoys. They are truly amazing. Part of the magic for me in the wings is watching them perform steps I wished I could perform as beautiful as they do.

The two people who tie all of this together are our artistic director and ballet mistress, Phillip Otto and Rachel Butler-Otto. They are the ones who inspire us to do that one more pirouette in class, to leap higher, to do the small steps  and small things to make us better dancers.

They are the ones who choreograph the show. I wished I could describe to you everything that involves. I don't know how to do it and do it just, especially since I can't fathom everything they do.

They are the heads of the Huntsville Ballet family, and the family atmosphere is one of the things I love most about Nutcracker, especially during production week. Phil and Rachel are like second parents to many of the kids performing in the show. Me, I feel like the eccentric uncle in the family. And one of my goals is to make Phil and Rachel proud of the job I'll do.

My other goals? To work my rear-end off to make sure people in the audience love what is a holiday classic that'll encourage them to make attending The Nutcracker a holiday family tradition.