ANTICHRIST

❛ It’s been a long time. I’d love to see that boy. ❜

❛ You can’t see everything. You’re just a vampire, like everyone else – that didn’t come out right. ❜

❛ Oh, lord, will no one shut me up? ❜

❛ The road to redemption is a rocky path. ❜

❛ It’s not that vampires don’t photograph, it’s just that they don’t photograph well. ❜

❛ I’ve been accused of a great many things in my time, but paranoid has never been one of them. Unless people have been saying it behind my back. ❜

❛ I still can’t believe you’re here. I mean…I killed you. ❜

❛ Sort of missing the whole ‘creature of the night’ angle, isn’t he? ❜

❛ You need some serious saving. Looks like I’ve got my work cut out for me. ❜

❛ All you little worker bees, plotting your little schemes. ❜

❛ Our discussions tend to go about three minutes, then it’s strictly name calling and hair pulling. ❜

❛ Do you know how hard it is to think with a rebar through your torso? ❜

❛ The time I’ve lived, I’ve seen some horrors, scary behavior, and a couple of fashion trends I constantly pray to forget. But I see people try. I see them try to be better. ❜

❛ Just shut up! One more excuse from you and I am gong to bury you alive, next to my house so I can hear you screaming. ❜

❛ Top of the middle of the day to you too. ❜

❛ Some people just shouldn’t have money. ❜

❛ Killing is so merciful in the end, isn’t it? The pain is ended. ❜

❛ Imagine Bonnie and Clyde if they had a hundred and fifty years to get it right. ❜

❛ God, I could eat his eyeballs. ❜

❛ You’re fun for a human. ❜

❛ You don’t learn that kind of darkness, it’s innate. It was in you before we ever met. ❜

❛ There’s gonna be a lot of trouble, and I say: bring it on. ❜

❛ You see, no matter how good a boy you are, God doesn’t want you! But I still do. ❜

❛ What? That’s the plan? Walking real quick was the plan? ❜

❛ Vampire living in a city known for it’s sun, driving a convertible. Why do you hate yourself? ❜

❛ Oh, no, I can’t do anything fun tonight. I have to count my past sins, then alphabetize them. Oh, by the way, I’m thinking of snapping on Friday. ❜

❛ Life’s too short. Believe me, I know. Four hundred years, and still too short. ❜

❛ Is that was you think? You did me a favor? You damned me. ❜

❛ God never did anything for you, but I will. ❜

❛ Tell the truth, whose face do you want to look at for all eternity, his or mine? ❜

❛ My soul is well past saving. Let the devil take me if he’ll have me. It doesn’t matter, either way, I die. ❜

❛ You can bet if someone ordered a male body part for religious sacrifice, the world would be atheist ❜ –  *snaps*  – ❛ like that! ❜

❛ You know, just because we had a thing for a hundred and fifty years, don’t presume you know me! ❜

❛ We’re about a month and what…four hundred years too late? ❜

❛I don’t care. I don’t wanna die. ❜

❛ I truly am sorry. The fact of the matter is, there is nothing I can do. ❜

❛ I felt it. I felt how you care, the way no one’s ever cared before. Not for me. ❜

❛ I’m not gonna leave you. Every moment you have left, I’m gonna be by your side. You never have to be alone again. ❜

❛ I only got half the story, half of it didn’t make sense. ❜

❛ Somehow that weirds me out more than the whole blood-sucking thing. ❜

❛ You have to change the way you’ve been doing things. Don’t you see where this is taking you? ❜

❛ I believe you said something about…a massacre. ❜

❛ My ass is not pansy! ❜

❛ Well, I for one, would just like to point out the patheticness that is us. ❜

❛ Vampires. Sloth demons. You know what’s really, really evil? Tequila. ❜

❛ Can’t a woman wreak a little havoc without there being a man involved? ❜

❛ You miss him, like a heartbeat. ❜

❛ Let them fight the good fight. Someone has to fight the war. ❜

❛ I asked you for a favor, and you’re avoiding me. That’s impolite. ❜

❛ Hey, guy I ran over. ❜

❛ Hey, girl who ran over me. ❜

❛ It’s like a song. Now, I can hold a note for a long time, but eventually, that’s just noise. It’s the change we’re listening for. The note coming after and the one after that. That’s what makes it music. ❜

❛ Man, you just get darker and darker, and the weird thing is – your aura? Beige. ❜

❛ Don’t try and tell us there’s nowhere to go but up, because the truth is, there’s always more down. ❜

❛ Tell the truth. If the world were to end tonight, would it really, in your heart of hearts, be such a terrible thing? ❜

❛ Seventeen karaoke bars. You know, I need to lie down and scrub out the inside of my head. ❜

❛ You walked away. Do us a favor and just stay away. ❜

❛ You don’t make that funny expression when I knock. Or, if you do, I don’t see it. ❜

❛ I never had to look so hard to find trouble before. ❜

❛ It’s L.A. The evil’s probably just tied up in traffic, or something. ❜

❛ The world doesn’t work in spite of evil. It works with us. It works because of us. ❜

❛ If there wasn’t evil in every single one of those people out there, why, they wouldn’t be people. ❜

❛ I don’t even know what you are anymore. ❜

❛ It doesn’t matter. None of it matters. ❜

❛ Get dressed and get out, because the next time I see you, I will have to kill you. ❜

❛ You saved me. I’m sorry I couldn’t do the same for you. ❜

❛ If there’s no great glorious end to all this, if nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do. ❜

❛ I fought for so long, for redemption, for a reward, and finally just to beat the other guy. ❜

❛ If there’s no bigger meaning, then the smallest act of kindness is the greatest thing in the world. ❜

❛ It sounds like you’ve had an epiphany. ❜

❛ I think maybe we’re not alone in this. ❜

❛ You think you’re the first guy who ever rolled over, saw what was laying next to him, and went 'gueeyah!’. You’re not. Believe me. ❜

❛ You’d have known that, if you hadn’t had your head firmly up your…place that isn’t on top of your neck. ❜

❛ Someone put a stake through that woman’s bloody heart if she persists in popping her bloody chewing gum! ❜

❛ Just so we understand each other – you and I? We’re not friends. ❜

❛ Man, atonement’s a bitch. ❜

❛ Now we’re saving a vampire from vampires?  ❜

❛ I got two words for that: nuh and uh! ❜

❛ Stop it, evil hand, stop it! ❜

❛ You are really gross. You know that? ❜

❛ I mean, walking I get, but power walking? Why not just run for a shorter time? Weird. ❜

❛ Do you want me to rip that guys head off for you? Because you know, I can. Really. I can just actually rip his head right of his body. ❜

❛ Everybody on board. Guilt trip leaving this station. ❜

❛ Home sweet hell. ❜

❛ Can everybody just notice how much fire I’m not on? ❜

❛ I’ll take the twenty on the left, you take the fifty on the right. ❜

❛ Lawyers. Don’t you people sleep during the day. ❜

❛ Oh, am I glad to see you – and so much less dead than I expected. ❜

❛ Handsome man, saved me from the monsters. ❜

❛ Bad things always happen here. ❜

❛ A prophecy. Great. Because those always go well. ❜

❛ You want me to talk to my family? On purpose? ❜

❛ Why do people keep putting me in charge of things? ❜

❛ I got a plan. We die horribly and painfully, you go to Hell, and I spend eternity in the arms of baby Jesus. ❜

❛ I’ve been trying to make an enchilada out of tree bark. ❜

❛ Ooo, why did you add that coward thing? That’s really gonna piss him off. ❜