moved

It's not confirmed yet by any means, of course…but I have been in and out of several fucking hospitals and doctor appointments for the past 7 fucking months nonstop! Because they think I might have an extremely rare form of cancer that is SEVERELY FUCKING EXACERBATED BY STRESS. I haven't been looking at any of your fucking dollar general knockoff ass plagiarized "OCs" because even seeing your names and urls mentioned on my dash stresses me the fuck out and makes me sicker! I have them in my goddamn blacklist and filters on every blog that I own. I have no point to send anon hate because 1) you would know it was me if I sent you any message point blank, I signed off the few where I POLITELY attempted to re-contact Winter back in 2024 to remove their name from the doc and talk about the **** shit and 2) I don't HAVE a reason to send any of you morons rude messages bc I was under the impression that you ALREADY KNEW THAT I HATE YOUR GUTS AND WANT TO BE LEFT. ALONE.

It's honestly fucking disgusting that you think I actually care about any of you or what you've been doing to me enough to bother to reach out! The person running the blog OPENLY STATED that I had nothing to do with these updates, just that I said they could post them if they really wanted to. But it wasn't enough to lie about me to your gaggle of illiterate mutuals and wafrn's site owner (an app that I am LITERALLY NOT EVEN ON. WHY ARE YOU MAKING A GROWN ASS MAN LIKELY OVER THE AGE OF 35 WHO DOESN'T EVEN KNOW ME ACT AS A MEDIATOR FOR YOU WHEN I TOLD YOU TO FUCK OFF 5 MONTHS AGO?) was it? No, you went BACK to saying that they were "just a fan character" and not an alter, a REAL PERSON WHO LIVES IN MY BRAIN AS A RESULT OF SEXUAL ASSAULT TRAUMA I EXPERIENCED WHEN I WAS 8? Like are you being so fucking serious right now dude? Oh, it's just "sexual harassment" (I never said assault, I never said rape. I said it was sexual harassment because it IS. You crossed their boundaries multiple times after being told to stop and KEPT GOING. Yeah, no shit the guy with CSA trauma is going to get mad when you write sexual content about them unwillingly! Think with your brains for once asshole!) And to fucking deadname me and call me a cunt on top of it? To go out of your way to find the blogs I made where /I BLOCKED YOU FIRST AND CLEARLY COULD NOT HAVE INTERACTED/ BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SEND MESSAGES TO BLOGS YOU HAVE BLOCKED/WHO BLOCKED YOU?

I have no fucking words left. I'm done. I'm not doing this anymore. I deserve better than you, and I AM better than you. Because I'm not some sort of cave-dwelling 30+ year old shitting my diaper and crying on the internet to anyone who will listen about how "Meanie Head Mod" wont share their fucking toys with you like we're in preschool. Grow the fuck up, go outside, get a life. Saying I "ruined your life permanently" because I wrote a fucking callout post on tumblr dot com, a dying website that maybe less than 20 people total read that I didn't send to anyone IRL you know of and wouldn't have anyways even if I DID know your legal name and address.

You could be doing ANYTHING with your lives right now, you know that? Painting a picture. Volunteering at a pet hospital. Going for a walk. Eating your favorite food. Spending time with loved ones. Writing your own goddamn original stories instead of ripping the lore directly from established franchises…but no. Instead, you sit here at your big-ass grown adult ages and trauma dump about how I'm ~hurting you~ when you've been stalking me, plagiarizing a REAL PERSON'S MEMORIES, sexually harassing me, NON sexually harassing me, and spreading lies and rumors on a fucking website with less than 50 active users at any given point in time. It's honestly fucking pathetic…you think I "ruined your lives" because tumblr RP IS the only thing in your life. No prospects, no talents, no hobbies goals aspirations dreams…what a waste of an existence. It's genuinely fucking embarrassing that you think I'd care about people as worthless as you.

When you inevitably write your suicide notes in 5 years, be sure to put my deadname in it and list it as your first reason why*. You quite literally make me fucking sick.

Don't fucking contact me again, and leave my name out of your mouths. If anyone ELSE would like to remain mutuals or RP on discord, you are free to send me an ask requesting that information.

Goodbye, and good fucking riddance.

i'm just gonna come out and remind everyone here that i do, in fact, have an official diagnosis of C-PTSD. i'm not going to get into the details of it, and while i would like to state that i am fully aware that it isn't currently in the DSM-5-TR at the moment, and that the technical diagnosis i have been given is just regular PTSD, i have been informed by all of my doctors (both physical and mental related ones, including therapists) that this IS the name for whatever condition i happen to have. while this is a very shorthand explanation that i'm providing here and each individual case varies in these factors, the basic essentials of having it entails having a combination of symptoms that mimic regular PTSD, BPD, and dissociative disorders.

i'm not here to talk about the PTSD/BPD side of this today, though. i think it is important that i state fully and explain the dissociative side of this. and again, in the interest of keeping this very blunt and to the point…i have alters. i'm plural, there is more than one guy living in my head quite literally rent-free, they yap at me, they yap at others, they yap at once another, and that's just how life is. now, some of you may remember how i used to make jokes about how i was just a "vessel for the vessel" or that i was "just their scribe who was letting them take over and do as they pleased" in essence...

...and now, i think that you can probably guess where this post is going to go from here-on out; yeah. aster is an alter. they are, in fact, a Real Fucking Person. and though they do NOT view RP as being real life or something that they take super seriously, it IS a way in which they like to explore their identity and socialize in a safe and secure way, because they do not feel comfortable talking to anyone who does not understand how these things work from personal experience otherwise. again, i feel the need to reiterate that this is not self-insertion on their part, and this isn't a case of them taking IC as OOC and vice-versa.

that said, when i put in this blog's rules page that you are not allowed to sexualize any of my muses without my (ie: their) explicit permission, there was a reason for that. in addition to this, things like direct plagiarism and theft are a very big deal in this regard; i want you to imagine yourself in my (their?) shoes for a moment, then:

pretend that you are yourself, living your life, discovering who you are, minding your own business, exploring your emotions, etc.

and then imagine that you meet someone who has found photos of yourself that you have specifically edited for your own use, and is catfishing others using your face, name, and even some very specific details of your life that you do not share with others openly.

imagine that you already struggle with your identity and have very unstable sense of self, and now imagine that someone is pretending to be you and taking all of the credit for your life, for your unique lived experiences and everything that makes you "you."

and THEN, i want you to imagine that this person starts writing sexual stories about you without your consent despite you making it VERY CLEAR that that is a major trigger for you, and a boundary that you absolutely will NOT allow anyone to cross.

can you imagine how violating that might feel? how genuinely traumatic something like that would be to experience?

i'm not going to get super deep into the fact that snowy told several of their friends that they could also use these ideas for their own interpretations of the same "character," going so far as to claim original "ownership" of them. nor how upsetting it was to be attacked and aggravated by snowy's friends after putting things out in the open and trying several times to reach a peaceful solution. (ESPECIALLY when one of them stated that this was just "shipping discourse" and "false life ruining accusations" and that a "fictional character cannot be sexually harassed" but. i digress.)

and again, i am not saying that snowy and their friends knew this about me; i have told less than 5 people about this in total ever because quite frankly, i do not like talking about my health issues in extreme detail publicly. i do not want them to be used against me maliciously or for assumptions to be made on my behalf about them. i am also not comfortable with the idea of facing ableism for something that is completely out of my control like this, either.

with that out of the way, i hope that this might help to clear up my boundaries further in the future from here on out and WHY they are so important to follow, and why i am so slow to ship with them or accept any forms of sexual content regarding them. i also hope that this explains why i was so terribly upset and may have come across as "overreacting" when i initially dropped the callout post.

regardless of anything else, i am not looking for pity or judgement. if this is going to be an issue for you with me going forwards, then you are free to block me as you see fit. but at the end of the day, i felt that it was important that i explain myself a little better and give some proper context to my thoughts and feelings behind the scenes now that things have settled down a bit.

The name thing: Snowy called themself Snowy AFTER the death of their cat, not because Sunny believes is so perfec like 'O h My Gosh, everyone wants to be me, because I'm so perfect!1111" Shut up, you are not even known in your own house?.

The 'stealing characters thing' : Bro. Are you okay? Everything okay at home? Because last time I checked A Lamb called Lamby wins the prize novel...... of most common names in fucking existence, and variations of Lamb and Lumbert exist, but whatever hels you sleep at night I guess.

The Sexual harrassment, Sunny. You name is so hironic because if someone sues you of false impusing a crime like that You won't be seeing the 'sunny' in a loooooooong time. And that's what you did because Let's count together Shall we? 1 - The Character that you say got stolen from you, It was't. It was from Someone in AO3. Your narcissism smells from here. And the owner gave permission to Snowy to use the character. 2- 'B-but is expliciiittttt!1111' FOR BLOOD AND DEATH, THOSE ARE THINGS RATED EXPLICIT TOO. But go with 'Sexual harrassment. Because 'My truth is the only truth' When you didn't read the fanfic youtself and now is bitting you back. 3- Snowy doesn't write NSFW as Sexual behavior, so.... YES. YOU ARE An ASSHOLE and a liar because you know it was made in bad faith for your part because you are not Petty you are the most low of humanity.

The AI Art is the only thing that is true but made for a lousy concept not as final designs.

The stolen verses and icons Were made by Roxy. A 'Great person' that is not In tumblr but likes to go around to mess things up, and steal from everyone, verses, icons, art.... And then give it to Snowy and I have a conversation of that Karen and Snowy and that proof all the points:

here is a conversation of Roxy and snowy