Stebbins

Well, at least she died doing what she loved—getting her dick sucked.

had a dream i was driving in the pokemon universe and something suddenly darted across the road and i ended up hitting a goddamn suicune. legendary reflexes though because i pulled out a pokeball and threw it out my window before she could run. caught her. said aloud "damn i wonder how often this happens." decided to immediately bring suicune out of her pokeball to check stats and i guess she could talk just like entei in that movie because the first thing she says is "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???"

My boss was like “Do you have any idea how much money we’re losing” like who cares, it’s not like they would give it to me otherwise

Have our investors tried making coffee at home and not eating out so much?

drake?

josh?

where’s the body of christ?