Slimecicle Moment

Schlatt: That’s true, it is fucked up. I start from the top though. I like— 

Ted: Oh, What?

Schlatt: I like the curvature— What? 

Ted: I don’t know, I just don’t like it. 

Charlie: What, this? The hook? You start at the hook? 

Schlatt: Yeah. Yeah.

Charlie: I break off the hook. 

Schlatt: You don’t eat the hook? 

Charlie: No, I eat the—

Ted: How are you sucking on that? Are you sucking on that like a…

Charlie: I don’t throw away the hook. I just, I break—

Schlatt: I enjoy the curvature. 

Charlie: I yank and break the hook, and then I have it as a separate piece.  

Schlatt: No. No you don’t. No you don’t. 

Charlie: Yes I do. Yes I do. 

Schlatt: I unwrap the top of the candy cane, and then I start at the hook. 

Ted: How are you sucking on it, Schlatt? Are you sucking on it like you’re a fucking fish that got caught?

Schlatt: I put the thing in my mouth, and I run my tongue along the hook, along the curvature. 

Ted: Don’t say you’re running your tongue, dude. I don’t wanna ever hear you say you’re running your tongue again. 

Schlatt: I’m being honest. 

Charlie: Can you show me? Can you show me?

Schlatt: That’s a comically large candy cane. I can’t— 

Charlie: I don’t know what you’re talking about. 

Schlatt: This— We haven’t invented—

Charlie: It’s not that much bigger. 

Schlatt: Charlie, we haven’t invented this yet. 

Charlie: Slightly above average. It’s only slightly above average. 

Schlatt: It used to be a regular one— You have a regular one. 

Charlie: I don’t know what— This is the same candy cane I’ve always had. 

Schlatt: Yes you do! You do!

Charlie: This is the same fucking candy cane.

Schlatt: There’s a regular sized candy cane on your desk right now!

Charlie: I’m sorry I don’t fucking swim around like you in a Christmas swamp until I’m fucking— 

Ted: Oh, I’ve missed this. 

Charlie: Snagged by a fucking hook, dude. How do you do it? 

Schlatt: You can fit— You can fit the candy cane in your mouth—

Ted: It’s true. It’s true. 

Schlatt: From the curvature. From the top. 

Ted: Charlie’s demonstration there—

Charlie: No, the width— the width is too high. The width is too—

Schlatt: That’s bigger than average!