Julia daily

Every time

God, I do love him. Being with him just feels normal to me, like we’re supposed to spend our lives next to one another. Are we “meant to be?” Maybe, but he knows I hate cheesy stuff 😉😂❤️

11/03/2016 I don't even deserve a man like him 😩❤️

Friends ask me if I'm still bisexual.. Of course I am! Just because I'm with a man doesn't mean I'm no longer attracted to women. The amazing thing about Michael is that he is so completely irresistible to me. I haven't been attracted to women at all. Or men frankly. My mind is so consumed by the thoughts of him. Chelsie shows me people on her tinder too but I'm not the least bit attracted to them? I literally can't think about anyone but him. He's SO FUCKING ATTRACTIVE. His muscles, those shoulders, those arms, those hands, that jawline, those eyes, those lips (especially when he bites them and doesn't even realize 😩❤️) how tall he is, how powerful and strong he is, and of course my toy. DAMN 😅

Enoing 10/17/2016 ❤️

I love you, you FUCKING DORK ❤️

The only picture from Fall Break bc we were in bed the rest of the time 😂❤️

Today I picked up Michael before heading to Hand and Hand park to eno yet again! At first we snuggled and chatted about life, and about family and friends. That eventually turned into silly jokes, tickling, goofy snapchats, and funny kisses. He eventually started doing this stupid voice that made me laugh so hard I couldn't help myself! I swear to god I laughed for a solid hour or more! I have not laughed that hard or that long in a long time. He really is SO perfect. I really don't deserve him, but oh my GOD do I love him 😊

We both know what this is about future Julia. Michael. OF COURSE. Let's tell it like a story; On Friday morning I woke up at 6AM to pick up Michael. He hopped in my car and we made our way back to my place where fresh sheets were on my bed, candles were ready to be lit, and rose petals were ready to be scattered across the bed. Our intention was to cuddle and sleep for a while then get up and make pancakes together. We cuddled for about an hour and then things got heated. We had sex and rolled around in the sheets together before eventually going upstairs to recharge with some pancakes. I tried making them at first and make them really dark and kept fucking them up, so I had him try. Saaaame result 😂 With warm maple syrup and strawberries it was actually so delicious! We even shared a couple strawberries between our lips. Which was in theory cute but honestly I thought it was sexy as hell? Not entirely sure why. I though maybe we could watch Netflix together so I turned on something I thought he'd like (bc I was sleepy and didn't care what we were watching) and I koalaed him in the recliner. It wasn't very long before I asked him if we could go lay in bed instead. We made our way downstairs and intertwined ourselves in each other. I had never been so comfortable in my LIFE. Being his little spoon is one of my favorite things. I feel so safe in his big strong arms 😍 We eventually woke up a couple hours later and shared sleepy kisses that slowly turned into making sweet, slow, passionate love. It was beyond wonderful! We cuddled and made love a couple more times before deciding that we smelled too much like sex to leave the house (we planned on getting lunch) so we showered together. Part of that time was really sweet and loving and warm and wonderful. Another part was sexy because I may or may not have gotten on my knees in that shower for him 😘💦 When we made our way to Riveria we just had more laughter and talking. I could talk to him for hours ❤️ I happily introduced me novio to Hector! We had arroz con pollo and I was a HAPPY Juju! 😭❤️ When we got back we later down together in bed for s little while before we eventually.. You guessed it.. Had sex again! That happened off an on between cuddling before the night turned later and later. One of my favorite moments was siting behind him while music played and kissing on him and rubbing his shoulders. "5 Years Time," came on and I sang to him while I wrapped my arms around him and kissed on him and giggled with him. Every moment with him is absolutely magical. Driving him home SUCKED. But I love riding in the car with him because he always sings with me and that always makes me so so happy 😍 He's actually a pretty good singer despite what he says, and I adore hearing him get into a song with me. Sometimes we'll even sing different parts of songs unplanned and MYHEART. When we got into his driveway we got maybe an inch from each other lips and sang the song that was playing, "We Don't Talk Anymore," for a few minutes in between kisses. It was so fucking cute and he kept saying "I'll get out after just one more song!" 😅❤️ But then Saturday arrived, and I woke up without him. I would have loved waking up in his arms! Michael picked me up at home and we went to Nick's house to meet Nick and Matt to go to Gallows! We got cookout before heading out to find our way there! I hadn't been to a haunted house in years, and honestly would have not one if Michael wasn't there pushing me along and make me feel safe. When I'm able to lean back and feel him or squeeze his hand I feel okay. After playing Cards Against Humanity with Nick and Matt for an hour or two at Nick's after the haunted house, Michael and I were both super cranky and tired and he drove me home. He told me he'd stay for a little while but that he wasn't supposed to stay the night. So he set an alarm for 1:30AM so he could then drive home. We crawled into bed and snuggled for a little while. We joked about having sex but agreed we were way too tired 😂 Did we end up having sex? Of course we did. (Once without a condom, oops?) But that night was filled with so much more. At one point I told him to let me go. He was a bit confused at first, but then I told him to lie on his stomach for me. I crawled onto him and began massaging as much of him as I could. Occasionally leaving down to sneak in a kiss or to tell him that I love him. He melted under my fingertips! He was so tired he just decided to stay the night, even though he was supposed to meet friends the next morning. About that next morning.. 😅 He woke up at 7 which was when he was supposed to get up and leave to shower before going out with friends. But we were both so sleepy still, and his friends hadn't made a solid plan with him so we later down together for a while longer. It was Sunday at this point and we knew his mother wanted him home. Did that stop me from grinding on Michael, kissing on Michael, sucking in Michael, sticking the tip of him into me, and then riding him? Fuck no, that's my toy and I'll play with it whenever I please! 😈 After that (which was FUCKING GREAT) I let him go upstairs and shower while I made him a bite to eat before we had to say goodbye. What a weekend, if I wrote as much as I actually wanted to write there would be probably 3x what is here! I love him so much.

I was so afraid I’d hurt him somehow 😅 But I tried my best to do him right. There were a couple times where I was so wet I just slipped off of him! And every time I put it back in I had to stop for a moment because he’s just so big and 😍 At one point while I was on top of him I leaned forward toward him and he thrusted himself into me which was THE GREATEST THING. I can’t wait to see what will happen on Friday, this is going to be one HELL of a Fall Break! 😩💦

It really made me feel closer to him, I really trust him. Even though I’m still more self conscious than I’d like to admit, I honestly forget that when we’re in the moment.

Tomorrow starts the start of the end of being this way and feeling this way. I’m not happy, and I want to feel sexy and I want to feel happy with the skin I’m in. I’m honestly mortified when I really study myself in the mirror. It’s painful, and that’s so sad.

HE IS SO FUCKING HANDSOME WTF ??!! HE COULD ACTUALLY MODEL I SWEAR 😩❤️

09/25/2016 I had a pretty rough day yesterday at work and felt anxious that night. Today Michael showed up on my porch??!! He is the most kind and thoughtful man on this earth. I'm so blessed to have him be in my life, and to be able to call him mine. He brought me chocolate, a letter, and this BEAUTIFUL pendant he got while he was in Scotland. It means so much to him and he gave it to me, that really meant so much to me. And the fact that he went so INCREDIBLY out of his way just to see me for a few minutes really shows his dedication to me. I've been crying almost constantly since he left. He means so much more to me than he really even knows. I'm so spoiled! He's the eighth wonder of the world. Even though he's my entire world. It feels so good to love without limitations, and it feels so good to be loved without limitations.