F಄lly A Duex

✚𝅝 ᴗ)⠀ ‿‿　Welcome!　 ͜◞ 🩸

If you recognize me, please give me a follow! I miss my old moots :(

Explanation of my situation here

🏷️⁔⁔˳ meow ˳

ough cravings... they strike again...

Today might be a self-care day to the best I can

All I think about is when I'll be able to cannibalize again

Luckily, it's only a quiet rumble, but I know it's going to spike soon enough

There's only so much time I can pretend it's not there till it bites me in the ass

...

Pun not intended

Realized I have potential

Might invest in some fighting lessons in the future

Both with and without weapon lessons

Can't do it right now because my family wants to keep me weak

Got my mutual to draw jirai kei mwehehhehe

I'm wearing those happy mindset t-shirts as if I'm not going to get a bloody soon if someone pisses me off one more time </3

I got this shirt from my stepdad from the last time I attempted ironically enough

Someday I'll be free

Someday I'll be free from restraint

The day that happens I will fucking burn this world down

Stomp on its ashes until I join them

Kill kill killl kill kill kill killl killl

I don't see a reason in fighting anymore?

I don't why I need to fight myself anymore?

What's the point in any of this anymore?

Why am I holding myself back anymore?

The way relapsing is fucking caressing me so softly

(E.g. cvtting, autocannibalism, and overdosing allergy meds)

Random stranger acted morally superior to me once again

I spoon fed the world a fucking response and people are so privileged

I'm so frustrated yet I'm so... exasperated at everything

I'm literally shaking in my insides right now

I just want to give up on life so badly

I'm either going to kill myself or I'm going to kill everyone else

So next time you decide to be a dick to me for no reason, flip a coin asshole

I want to cry so badly ... ough ...

Get some new friends or become a serial cannibal again till I die of Kuru

Oooo... decisions decisions...

I keep catching myself missing M

I guess that's not really true, I know it's just the feeling he gave me being his friend

Like maybe things could be better

I had hope

I wish I had more people my age as friends who can understand how I feel or at least endure it more than the rest of the world has

I don't want to vent to people younger than me, it just makes me feel like shit and the chances they see it the same way I do is severely varied

And what if I freak out again?

Just overall it's not a good habit to build

But since everyone left me, I really don't have anybody but my partner now

It's hard to articulate things atm anyhow

I think I understand now how some people feel and why they become a recluse

I'm not scared to socialize, not really at all, but getting close to people absolutely sucks for me

I want to get closer but there are so many things I have to take in as factors on wanting to get closer to someone

If I was just some average joe living in a big bright world, I wouldn't have a care

But my options are limited since I'm not the majority

I don't really have options in relationships, and I have to take what I can get or fake it till I make it

Which I rather kms than conform to society

Yet when I can't tell what people see in me, it freaks me out

Now all I can do is question if all my relationships are authentic after everything I've been through

The thought of that alone bruises my skin

Google how do I not relapse immensely no glue no borax

One thing I hate with a genuine passion is seeing parents taking pictures or videos and posting them on the internet

It's such a visceral reaction seeing a baby on my fyp

I do not care for a second if it's out of pure intent, it's between a feeling of disgust and anger, please get the fuck off my screen IMMEDIATELY

Sometimes I question why I even thought of being a parent beforehand (I still do sometimes)