independent & private lone wanderer of bethesda’s fallout 3. kaidan— he/him, 20, cst timezone.
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@dahlina-a
independent & private lone wanderer of bethesda’s fallout 3. kaidan— he/him, 20, cst timezone.
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oooo my mental illness is getting to me yall cause i made a genji blog lmaooooo @genjys
im finally here ?
Sorry for lack of activity the past few days. I’m in the process of going home for the summer so my free time has been limited.
dupliciting:
« you’re overlooking this, lina. » why would you do if you’d been forced to become a soldier? to hang up your hero heart at the front door & slither yourself into a uniform that didn’t fit, hold a gun that used to belong to someone else, & ride out the war between the brotherhood & enclave? [oh, right— she’d already done that to him.] « no one’s telling you to do anything you don’t want to do— not sarah, not elder lyons; none of them. you’re overreacting. » there’s an extra emphasis on the final sentence with his fingers, eyebrows shooting up as he meekly shrugs his shoulders.
of course he would say that. why wouldn’t he? this is his dream— bloodshed & raw carnage, bodies stacked upon one & another. war never changes, she’s learned that much throughout her time in the wastes. [dalina only wonders why taron can’t. why add more fuel to the already enraged flames?] « i did what i came here to do. we found my dad, we finished project purity & that was supposed to be it. end of the line type stuff. » exasperation is clear across her face, a sigh falling shortly behind. « i didn’t come to the citadel to become a fucking member of the brotherhood of steel. they promised to help me with project purity— they held up their end of the bargain. i didn’t want to stay when they offered in the first place, then we got roped into fighting the rest of the enclave. why are you choosing to overlook that? » hero vs. soldier, or the choice of egressing.
« get your stuff together— we’re leaving. »

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𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝙲𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳 𝙿𝙾𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙱𝙻𝚈 𝙶𝙾 𝚆𝚁𝙾𝙽𝙶 𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂. feel free to change pronouns/tenses to suit scenarios, etc.
“baby, come here.”
“i get so lonely at night.”
“why can’t you tell that i’m desperate?”
“why can’t you tell that i’m bad for you?”
“i wish i was you.”
“so, why can’t you tell me what you think i should?”
“if you were here for the other night, you’d be terrified.”
“you know, i think the lines you’re afraid of are all made up.”
“last night, it was bad.”
“i wanna slow it down, but nobody would’ve let me.”
“maybe if you feel out of place, maybe it’s because you are.”
“i hope they crucify me.”
“no more parties in los angeles.”
“as of right now, my job is to lie down.”
“i hope they cancel me.”
“i pretend i’m ten times stronger for you.”
“you show so much promise.”
“it’s okay to be unhappy with all this.”
“what’s it like to be you?”
“do you see me that way?”
“do you remember my name?”
“i want her.”
“i want her to be just like you.”
“you know you’re my favorite.”
“just like me in my day, but you got all your priorities mixed up.”
“what’s it like being famous?”
“do you see a stranger when you look at my face?”
“sometimes, i wanna save you from everything.”
“it’s impossible to say what you’re gonna be.”
“it’s no business of mine how you waste your time.”
“i bet you miss what you had.”
“do you ever wonder why everyone is out to get you every day?”
“do you question anything?”
“how many warning signs until it hits you?”
“gravity’s your friend.”
“too many factors to be sure.”
“so many reasons to think twice.”
“you fall out of touch sometimes.”
“simple things make a difference in your day.”
“when you cry, i get fucking anxiety.”
“take the time to tell me how it ended up this way.”
“your love is cheap; it doesn’t cost anything.”
“what happens when you can’t keep doing it?”
“am i just scared for you?”
“can you feel the weight of their eyes on your neck?”
“i know you didn’t make any plans.”
“are we dead?”
“were you feeling left out?”
“they can tell that your mind is a mess.”
“these days don’t end.”
“you lost the things that brought us closer.”
“forgot how good it feels to be alone.”
“is this how i’m supposed to feel?”
“make it easy for me.”
“take it easy on me.”
“i still don’t know how you felt.”
“you can’t blame me.”
“why switch like different seasons?”
“you won’t find heaven, not in these hills.”
“you shouldn’t be here.”
“you can still make your mind.”
“i can’t save your life.”
“you can’t carry me through this.”
“i got your back sometime.”
“you’ll still be my favorite.”
“i wish i could save you.”
“i guess you got what you wanted.”
“you got your answer.”
“i’m in a dark place.”
“just know i’m not proud of everything i did so far.”
“i do it all for you.”
“can you follow my lead for once?”
“i can never make up for the time.”
“this is not love, i’m a glorified doorstop.”
“you wonder why we fell into a standstill.”
“we don’t need long.”
“still in the same boat.”
“please don’t ask to stay with me.”
“yeah, i’m still the same.”
“i feel insane.”
“don’t take this shit too serious.”
“look at what we accomplished.”
“i can tell you what it means.”
dupliciting:
❝ jesus christ— what is wrong with you? you’re that angry over a chainsaw? i get the big chainsaw & shotgun, you get the little one & the fat man— that’s how this thing goes. capisce? ❞ he pauses, brows furrowing. ❝ unless you want to give me the fat man… i wouldn’t be opposed to that. ❞
❝ i’m not angry about anything— i just don’t feel it’s fair. that’s all. ❞ & it’s not fair. why does he get the big chainsaw? why does she have to be stuck with the ripper? his chainsaw is able slice through people like they’re cake— meanwhile, he’s finished with his slice before she even begins to make a dent in hers. ❝ i’m not giving you the fat man. you’d nuke us before you nuke anything else— i know your slogan. shoot first, think later. won’t pair well with the fat man; trust me. ❞ an eye roll follows her words. ❝ maybe it needs a new saw chain? moira up in megaton fixed it for me the last time i was having problems, but i don’t know if she changed the chain. ❞
cyberstrange:
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀"who’s ⠀ ⠀the ⠀ ⠀kid ⠀ ⠀you’re ⠀ ⠀babysitting?“ ⠀ ⠀the ⠀ ⠀one ⠀ ⠀she’d ⠀ ⠀willingly ⠀ ⠀ignored ⠀ ⠀up ⠀ ⠀until ⠀ ⠀this ⠀ ⠀point, ⠀ ⠀anyway. ⠀ ⠀she ⠀ ⠀doesn’t ⠀ ⠀mind ⠀ ⠀if ⠀ ⠀he ⠀ ⠀joins ⠀ ⠀along, ⠀ ⠀maybe ⠀ ⠀they ⠀ ⠀could ⠀ ⠀use ⠀ ⠀him ⠀ ⠀as ⠀ ⠀bait ⠀ ⠀or ⠀ ⠀something. ⠀ ⠀mim ⠀ ⠀points ⠀ ⠀a ⠀ ⠀finger ⠀ ⠀in ⠀ ⠀his ⠀ ⠀direction, ⠀ ⠀"he ⠀ ⠀knows ⠀ ⠀how ⠀ ⠀to ⠀ ⠀fight, ⠀ ⠀don’t ⠀ ⠀he? ⠀ ⠀i ⠀ ⠀don’t ⠀ ⠀gotta ⠀ ⠀worry ⠀ ⠀about ⠀ ⠀a ⠀ ⠀baby’s-first-gunfight ⠀ ⠀scenario, ⠀ ⠀do ⠀ ⠀i?” ⠀ ⠀a ⠀ ⠀slight ⠀ ⠀bit ⠀ ⠀of ⠀ ⠀annoyance ⠀ ⠀in ⠀ ⠀her ⠀ ⠀voice, ⠀ ⠀but ⠀ ⠀nothing ⠀ ⠀too ⠀ ⠀serious ⠀ ⠀(the ⠀ ⠀words ⠀ ⠀"serious" ⠀ ⠀and ⠀ ⠀"mim" ⠀ ⠀don’t ⠀ ⠀belong ⠀ ⠀together ⠀ ⠀in ⠀ ⠀the ⠀ ⠀same ⠀ ⠀sentence).
it’s a question she’s asked a lot— who’s the kid? she’s not sure if it’s his baby face or the fact he continues to wear an old high school shirt from some abandoned house they looted weeks ago, even after she’s asked him multiple times to change it. (he doesn’t even know where the school was prior to the war— he proudly wears the colors & mckinley high school name with no problem, though.) ❝ that’s taron. don’t worry about him— he can handle himself. ❞ an absolute menace to society is what she should say, but dalina refrains— probably not the best look to a complete stranger. the woman will figure it out on her own, anyways. ❝ i’m dalina. ❞
Kate Moss for GQ Magazine (1992)
𝚃𝙰𝚁𝙾𝙽 𝙸𝙽𝙶𝙾𝚃— taron is dalina’s primary companion throughout her journey in the capital wasteland. the sole survivor of vault 112, one of the last vaults to ever be constructed. it was intended for only 85 occupants & suspended into a virtual reality world for the indefinite duration of the vault’s experiment. it was built to house & tend to the needs of its overseer, dr. stanislaus braun, creator of the garden of eden creation kit. within it, braun installed a virtual reality simulator & visiontron loungers, containing several simulated worlds, the last of which is the tranquility lane simulation. braun used the loungers & simulations as a means to make the residents of vault 112 into his playthings. he would murder residents in one simulation, resurrect them in another just to kill them within seconds— this was often the position that taron was in.

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cyberstrange:
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀mim ⠀ ⠀laughs, ⠀ ⠀not ⠀ ⠀maliciously. ⠀ ⠀it’s ⠀ ⠀been ⠀ ⠀a ⠀ ⠀minute ⠀ ⠀since ⠀ ⠀someone ⠀ ⠀actually ⠀ ⠀entertained ⠀ ⠀mim ⠀ ⠀rather ⠀ ⠀than ⠀ ⠀annoyed ⠀ ⠀them. ⠀ ⠀of ⠀ ⠀course, ⠀ ⠀if ⠀ ⠀the ⠀ ⠀lady ⠀ ⠀annoyed ⠀ ⠀her, ⠀ ⠀she ⠀ ⠀would’ve ⠀ ⠀just ⠀ ⠀diced ⠀ ⠀her ⠀ ⠀like ⠀ ⠀some ⠀ ⠀fruit. ⠀ ⠀"you’re ⠀ ⠀funny. ⠀ ⠀i ⠀ ⠀could ⠀ ⠀show ⠀ ⠀you ⠀ ⠀some ⠀ ⠀of ⠀ ⠀my ⠀ ⠀moves ⠀ ⠀if ⠀ ⠀you’d ⠀ ⠀like. ⠀ ⠀you ⠀ ⠀might ⠀ ⠀wanna ⠀ ⠀stay ⠀ ⠀out ⠀ ⠀of ⠀ ⠀the ⠀ ⠀splash ⠀ ⠀zone ⠀ ⠀though.“ ⠀ ⠀mim’s ⠀ ⠀fights ⠀ ⠀get… ⠀ ⠀messy. ⠀ ⠀one ⠀ ⠀would ⠀ ⠀imagine ⠀ ⠀she’d ⠀ ⠀be ⠀ ⠀grateful ⠀ ⠀for ⠀ ⠀the ⠀ ⠀red ⠀ ⠀hue ⠀ ⠀of ⠀ ⠀her ⠀ ⠀skin, ⠀ ⠀because ⠀ ⠀it ⠀ ⠀often ⠀ ⠀hides ⠀ ⠀the ⠀ ⠀stains. ⠀ ⠀“unless ⠀ ⠀you ⠀ ⠀wanna ⠀ ⠀be ⠀ ⠀the ⠀ ⠀one ⠀ ⠀that ⠀ ⠀gets ⠀ ⠀chased. ⠀ ⠀but ⠀ ⠀i ⠀ ⠀doubt ⠀ ⠀it!”
as much as she’d ignore it— in the wasteland, she was a shrimp compared to most; she’d grown up eating packaged tv dinners & drinking cold purified water— she hadn’t gained her wasteland weight yet. (no matter how much weight she carried for others.) maybe learning some moves from someone who could clearly take care of themselves wasn’t such a bad thing after all. ❝ yeah— sounds good. ❞ an ironic figure of speech, but it works & gets her point across. dalina adds a thumbs up to the end of her words for the extra caution. (she doesn’t want problems— no one in the wastes want problems; unless you fall under the appelation of raider or murderer. more often than not, they were rooted from the same tree.) but taron hasn’t dragged her off, nor has she seen a sniper in the distance trying to pop her head whenever they get a clear sight. so far, so good— even if, hypothetically, this woman personally gives her the creeps. ❝ noted: stay out of the splash zone & don’t get chased by you. ❞ sounds easy enough.
& so it was that the lone wanderer ventured forth from vault 101 intent on discovering the fate of a father who had once sacrificed the future of humanity for that of his only child.
independent & private lone wanderer of bethesda’s fallout 3. heavily canon/lore divergent— inspired by various dystopian & apocalyptic movies, novels, & podcasts. developed by kaidan.
@unincinerate asked: did mommy make you sad?
it’s almost embarrassing how quickly he can drive her to tears. (once a childhood bully, always a childhood bully— no matter how many times you save his ass. he’ll never be grateful; that’s just butch deloria for you.) it’s his face— stoic with a hint of choler, that really sets her off. it’s the same futile desperation she felt back in that metal hub they called home months ago; the desire to feel a sense of belonging, only now, she doesn’t have anything left to prove. she knows where she lies in the wasteland & where her body will be buried once all is said & done with. what about him? where will he be buried— or better yet, who will bury him? (right now, it surely won’t be her & she’ll make sure taron doesn’t come within six feet of his maggot-festering corpse.)
❝ you’re a real asshole— you know that, right? ❞ she can’t help but scoff, a sneer claiming its residence across her lips. fingers reach up, tapping at her lower lid, trying to catch any stray tears before they manage to weasel their way out. ❝ i’d take a dead mom over a dead beat any day. how many times did your mommy make you cry, butchie? don’t play coy with me now. ❞ what’s the worst he’ll do? break her nose again like they did when they were children? call her a bitch before holding her face down into a puddle of mud? she’d like to see him fucking try.
pre & post wasteland <3
✦ fallout challenge: one protagonist — the lone wanderer
Revelation 21:6. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life, freely.

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cyberstrange:
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀mim ⠀ ⠀lets ⠀ ⠀out ⠀ ⠀a ⠀ ⠀screeching ⠀ ⠀laugh ⠀ ⠀at ⠀ ⠀that; ⠀ ⠀scary ⠀ ⠀is ⠀ ⠀an ⠀ ⠀understatement. ⠀ ⠀there’s ⠀ ⠀a ⠀ ⠀thrill ⠀ ⠀in ⠀ ⠀her ⠀ ⠀chases, ⠀ ⠀and ⠀ ⠀it’s ⠀ ⠀reflected ⠀ ⠀in ⠀ ⠀her ⠀ ⠀eyes, ⠀ ⠀and ⠀ ⠀she’ll ⠀ ⠀chase ⠀ ⠀down ⠀ ⠀her ⠀ ⠀prey ⠀ ⠀as ⠀ ⠀her ⠀ ⠀smile ⠀ ⠀widens ⠀ ⠀to ⠀ ⠀an ⠀ ⠀uncanny ⠀ ⠀degree. ⠀ ⠀and ⠀ ⠀it ⠀ ⠀is ⠀ ⠀the ⠀ ⠀last ⠀ ⠀thing ⠀ ⠀they ⠀ ⠀see. ⠀ ⠀good ⠀ ⠀times, ⠀ ⠀good ⠀ ⠀times. ⠀ ⠀"oh ⠀ ⠀yeah, ⠀ ⠀really ⠀ ⠀gets ⠀ ⠀them ⠀ ⠀running,“ ⠀ ⠀she ⠀ ⠀smiles, ⠀ ⠀as ⠀ ⠀though ⠀ ⠀looking ⠀ ⠀back ⠀ ⠀fondly ⠀ ⠀on ⠀ ⠀nostalgic ⠀ ⠀memories. ⠀ ⠀but ⠀ ⠀it’s ⠀ ⠀quickly ⠀ ⠀replaced ⠀ ⠀by ⠀ ⠀a ⠀ ⠀mischievous ⠀ ⠀grin ⠀ ⠀and ⠀ ⠀her ⠀ ⠀low, ⠀ ⠀growling ⠀ ⠀voice, ⠀ ⠀"but ⠀ ⠀i ⠀ ⠀don’t ⠀ ⠀mind. ⠀ ⠀i ⠀ ⠀like ⠀ ⠀when ⠀ ⠀they ⠀ ⠀run.”
“ it really gets them gunning? ” she questions— running vs. gunning, a genuine struggle. “ not exactly the response i anticipated but, you know what— i get it. i have this mini chainsaw— it gets them gunning too. don’t bring a knife to a gunfight they say, but i said otherwise— bring a ripper to a gunfight, they will be gunning but also running, if you get me. ” a moment passes before she feels a tap on her shoulder & sees her companion sign the singular word of run that she understands— it gets them running & she likes it when they run; not when they gun. “ . . . oh, i understand now— well, that changes things, doesn’t it? ” cue the awkward cascade of laughter falling from dalina’s lips, her eyes straying anywhere to desperately get her out of his situation.
@unincinerate asked: you know i’m still afraid.
a symphony of laughter is emitted from her lips, alabastrine digits immediately raising. « you’re cautious— » she corrects, moving over to the bed. perching upon the edge beside him, her hands cup themselves along his chin, fingers ghosting lightly along his jawline. in this universe, they exist— even through all the rubble & destruction, they’ve managed to survive through the abhorrent horrors this world throws at them. love seeps from their pores & oozes into the palms of each other’s hand; her heart is his. it always has been. she’s always been foolish to believe in such a destiny— this life doesn’t offer clemency. all it offers is a one way metro station ticket to your demise. love is an avoidance of the reality at hand, but it’s enough for her to masquerade her own fear & force a non-fleeting smile onto her lips.
her fingers retreat from his jaw, moving back in front of her. they hesitantly sign, « stay. i’ll protect you & if i can’t, then butch will— that’s real comforting, right? » it’s a reach, she’s aware of it— trying to stop his return to vault 101. it was inevitable, though; everything has an end, even his visit to the citadel. teary-eyed, her gaze meet his & her shoulders raise in a light shrug, a soft scoff departing her lips. « i don’t know what else to say besides please. »