==> Continue to be sad and alone.

AG: You are the only person I know that can manage to drag out something that should take 8 words into a 888 word essay.

AG: Anyway, I’m on my way 8ack right now.

AG: I guess you could w8 outside for me.

AG: I don’t know if Captor can keep you safe right now, 8ut that’s another option.

AG: If you used your thinkpan then may8e I wouldn’t have to 8e Captain O8vious of the S.S. Dum8ass all the time.

AT: eQUIUS WENT OUTSIDE, i'M PRETTY SURE, sO i'LL JUST,

AT: i'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT, pROBABLY,

AT: sEE YOU SOON i GUESS,

You take the chair that is behind your desk and pull it out slightly, indicating to the smaller troll that you would like him to have a seat. You suppose he can entertain himself on his husktop for now, seeing as he cannot move anyway. Still, it worries you. He may contact Vriska in an attempt to leave your block…even though you haven’t laid a harmful hand on Tavros that he did not ask you for. The procedure you performed did not count as harm. 

“I don’t owe you any explanation, low-blood,” you reply in a matter of fact tone. It’s true, you don’t. “It is revolting that you think you can betray your place and speak to me like so.” Sure, you appreciated it when Aradia took the lead with you in the past, but this was Tavros. Much less desirable than she, even if she did sit lower on the hemospectrum than him…

Then, the thought hits you. This entire time, you have fought against your own natural instincts to do such things as provide food and promise protection to Karkat. It was a comfort to remind yourself that Nepeta had wanted these things of you, and therefore you were not lowering yourself. Clearly, you cannot shake the horrible weight pressing down on you. Speaking of which…

“Don’t be so damn mean to him, Equius,” Nepeta says, almost whining. She puts her hands on your shoulders, reaching up due to her height. She looks at Tavros with a huge smile and then back to you. It is all you can do not to roll your eyes in disgust. 

“You could afford to clean up your language some more,” you tell her. “Clearly, you have been corrupted.”

He tugged his husktop closer to him, flipping it open and nudging the power button with his index finger. It flickered to life with the hum of biomachinery , but he wasn’t really in much hurry for it to start up while there was still a hulking blueblood looming over his shoulder, lecturing him about his impertinence. Tavros wasn’t entirely sure what he’d done to offend Equius, actually, but if he had to guess it would involve him opening his mouth, existing, or maybe bleeding a little, and those would be enough to get his brains punched out through his head. He braced himself, inwardly, and wondered if Vriska would be upset.

Equius was distracted anyway, he noticed, after roughly twenty seconds of cowering. Not just distracted – he was murmuring to himself, speaking to something that wasn’t even there, but if Tavros had to guess it sounded like he was chastising Nepeta. Those were the words he’d always used anyway, corrupted and 100d and protect%ion, when he talked about her. That was unnerving. Tavros just fixed his eyes on the flashing indicators on his screen, hurriedly closing the leftover Trollian windows (oh god, he needed to talk to Vriska [for once] or someone, anyone that wasn’t Equius and wasn’t here) and making himself busy with Pupa Pan-related images he’d managed to dig up from his various and poorly-kept file folders. Those were probably stupid too, he’d been told that they were, but they kept his mind off of the tank lurking just behind him.

The tank that was… leaving?

What?

You take another step, and that one's a little easier, now that the pain has become a constant. It still makes you dip your head a little and bite your lip until you draw blood, brownish-orange staining your mouth, but you can totally handle this. Totally. You absolutely have this. No, you're pretty sure you probably, definitely do not have this, but what did Vriska tell you? You have to get out of here and you can't get out of here if you can't walk.

Laaaaaaaame. You're doing that thing where you're un8eliiiiiiiivea8ly 8oring, Pupa. This isn't even the hard part!

You're pretty sure that wasn't what she told you, at least, not exactly in that instance that you had in mind, but you are positive that she probably told you that at some point in time. Or something like it. You aren't so positive it was exactly those words. That isn't the point.

The point is that you need to leave, and you can't leave if you can't walk. 

So you take another couple steps, and it burns like fire in your legs but they move, even as your nerves feel bloody (they aren't, but it feels like it, they throb with every motion). You offer Equius a hesitant smile, a nod of the head.

Your mind floats in what feels like the most gentle calm in existence. It glides slowly through the soft brush of clouds and finally settles down in a warm, fluffy bed. You are not sure if you are sleeping or day dreaming. Reality has bid you farewell for the moment and abandoned you in this sweet place. As you spread your arms wide and close your eyes, you hear the quiet pitter patter of feet coming towards you. Normally, your neck would snap to attention, but now you cannot bring yourself to care. Instead, you expand the limits of your being as far as you can to cover the entire area of your rest. The footsteps stop beside you. Then, the warmth of another body graces the ground beside you. Still, you do not open your eyes in curiosity. 

“Equius, you did it.” Nepeta’s words just barely tickle your ear as they enter. This arouses you and brings your eye lids open. You draw your attention to the troll laying on the ground beside you, looking up into the calm. She has a smile stretched between her cheeks, her eyes your bright and happy memory. You feel your mouth crack into a tiny smile, ever so faint. The job was finally finished. The torment and trials finally done. Without thinking you touch her hand. No screams, no breaking. It appears that in this calm, you can hold your dear moirail’s hand without destroying its fragile bones. 

“It is over?” you ask her. She turns her head to peer into your…er…sunglasses. Her tiny hand closes around yours tightly, giving it an affectionate squeeze. You are best moirails, the best moirails. 

“Yes, everything is good now,” she whispers, small tears of joy gathering in the corners of her eyes. “Everything is good now…”

You realize that your hand is lonely. It is clenched into a fist on your table. Your eyes are not looking back into Nepeta’s but instead staring blankly at the wall in front of you. Her voice does not fill the air with cheerful sounds but instead, the air hangs silent and dead around you. You glance behind you to see Tavros once more. You cannot bring yourself to care about what he is doing, all you hope for is that he does not sever the link between his legs and his body. You do not want to attach new legs to him. Again. 

You notice that Nepeta is no longer in the room. Where she could have gone is anyone’s guess. Perhaps she went back into your mind. Guilt rushes over you. How could such a thought have tainted your thinkpan? Of course she has not retreated to the recesses of your mind. She is not imagined. She is a real, living, breathing troll, just as Aradia when she was in need of a body. The only difference being that Nepeta is not compatible with your robotic bodies. You heave a heavy sigh and glance back down to Tavros’ legs. 

The point is that you’re still in Equius’s makeshift respiteblock, which is really just a worktable and a robot pile and a tiny space in between because lowbloods don’t have nice big hives like you’re sure he’s used to. You keep meaning to leave, you really do! But you don’t want to make Equius angry, because you’re pretty sure he’s unstable as it is; he’s been staring at that wall for a good half hour, and you’ve had a conversation on Trollian and daydreamed about Rufio who doesn’t exist but you like to pretend he does, and tried to quietly flex your toes and feet and found that you can. And Equius hasn’t moved.

He did say something, though, under his breath. You couldn’t make it out, but it had been so sudden after all that silence that you’d nearly jumped a foot into the air. Scaaaaaaaaredy Pupa! Weakiest, lamest Pupa! says the Vriska in your head, so you try to collect yourself as best you can. Unsurprisingly, the Vriska in your head is not very much help.

She is considerably less help when Equius unfolds himself from where he’d been sitting, broad and tall and a lot scarier than meager little you. You’ve filled out some as you aged, sure, and wheeling yourself around all that time wasn’t for nothing! But he’s still a lot larger than you are, and quite frankly with all of that talking to himself he’s been doing you really don’t want to be anywhere near him. You don’t even have your strife specibus with you, because you are an idiot, holy shit, how did you forget that. You sigh, inwardly, and only some of it is with relief that Equius seems to want you out as much as you want to leave.

“I can, definitely try that, at least,” you reassure him, shifting away as best you can and then pushing yourself up. And oh, holy fuck does that hurt, the biometal has merged just fine and everything is working but your nerves are still raw and you don’t think you want to do this too much. But you can’t stay here, you know you can’t- you force a shaky smile and nod a few times, and hey holy shit it might hurt but you are standing. “Yeah, I can probably, definitely do this! Wow, these are- these are really great!” And you aren’t kidding, because holy wow you are thrilled right now.

AT: uHH,

AT: i'LL dEFINITELY DO THAT, pROBABLY, aS SOON AS i CAN, 

AT: wITHOUT HIM NOTICING, i MEAN, bECAUSE i DON'T REALLY THINK i WANT TO FIGHT HIM, aT ALL,

AT: uHHHHH,

You hear Nepeta scowl beside Tavros. Perhaps it is her lack of patience, or maybe it is some form of jealousy. If it is jealousy, you can’t bring yourself to care this time. Her handle hasn’t shown up on your husktop in a very long time. Her face hasn’t graced your sight in what feels like an eternity. The sweet smell of her skin hasn’t filled your senses with beauty in this dark and glitched existence since her death. 

You had always felt that touching her would bring warmth to your life. If only you could reach out and feel her without breaking her. She was too good for the sludge that coursed through her veins day in and day out. The new heart you’d created for her before everything went to hell had finally given her the glorious blue that she deserved. And now, as you fixate on her handle, you can only imagine her figure before you. She stands, a hopeful beacon, beckoning you. You can almost feel her beautiful glow. You drift away into thought…

Why, Aradia, how horrible to find you out here in this dangerous glitchbeast infested land? Oh, Aradia, within a moment, I could whisk you away from all of these mortal dangers and draw you into my safe respite block. I can protect you from those beasts which seem to harm you and teach you, finally, the ways of the class you were always meant for. Aradia, sweet Aradia….

Reality tears through your beatpump. Recycling her data would eventually come to question. You glance back to Nepeta and then at the monitor. Her wishes are to return the game to normal and to return your friends to normal. She wants her body back. She wants to be visible. You cannot bear to tell her no as she stares into your eyes. But that would mean….Aradia….

“Must they all be recycled?” You ask, turned to Nepeta. She stares blankly back at you. For an instant, this glimmer of hope pounds your beatpump like mad. Faster and faster. Perhaps Aradia could be spared this fate. You watch as Nepeta looks down at the floor, small green tears forming in the corners of her eyes. 

“Equius,” she said, her voice cracking. “I just want everything to be okay.” She brings her gaze back up to you, her face clearly broken. “I just want to go back to the way things were. It will be better in the end, I promise. It will end up good…”

You bite your lip, eyes dropping to the floor. How can you turn away those eyes. How can you reply harshly to such a pained request. Clearly, though impatient, this task bothers her as well. She just wants the same thing you do. You look back at Tavros, remembering that he is still there. 

If you didn't hate the look on his face so much.

It was mostly hidden by his shades and the weird dip of his head, true, but you still saw and it did not make you even remotely pleased to be in this room with him. And definitely not safe. He got all distant for a few seconds there, you watched his thinkpan fly right out of his skull like a flighty little fairy and into the sky to dance with whatever had caught his fancy so abruptly, and that wasn't like the Equius you knew at all. 

And then he does that thing where he talks to himself, and you freeze up, eyes going very wide and mouth going very narrow. "Uhh." Oh god you are so uncomfortable right now. He looks like he just got punched in the feelings and you're not sure why, because all he did was stare into space and say something about recycling people, and that's definitely concerning to you.

You're going to need to contact Vriska - your eyes glance to your husktop nearby, reassuring yourself that it's there. It isn't that you want her involved, but if anyone will know what to do, it'll be Vriska, right? Vriska always knows what to do, even if she's really mean about it. And she'll probably hit you a little for needing her to come save you from Equius, especially if all he's doing is just being Equius. Maybe you'll hold off for a little while. At least until he isn't looking.

You do your best to ignore Nepeta’s frustrated glare through the silence. You know she wants you to move faster. Things take time. Besides, you aren’t entirely sure if you can bring yourself to recycle the data…you don’t think you can handle the sounds of them screaming. The imagined screams tear through your mind, causing you to squint. Thankfully, your shades mask your pain. Perhaps Nepeta’s desire to keep Tavros will work to your favor. You look at his legs and then back to his face. 

“Do you continue to feel pain?” you ask him as you rise up from your seat. The biometal would most likely take some time to heal. It would take time for it to get to know Tavros’ body and for the two to become one. It was beautiful really, the union of troll and machine. Even if the troll in question was a lowblood like Tavros. 

Squatting down beside him, you examine his legs and ignore his face. The face is not what concerns you. Your creation, as expected, will serve him well once more. Hopefully these legs will not find themselves destroyed. Nepeta’s snarl in the corner draws your attention. You glance at her, your eyes narrowing. Her impatience was becoming disgraceful. Karkat’s incessant blathering and horrible attitude have affected her more than you would have liked in this glitched state. 

“You can just leave him here with me,” Nepeta says, moving closer to the two of you. “How long are you going to wait? Don’t you want everything to return to normal?”

You are silent. Your stare obviously does not effect her and so you return to examining Tavros’ legs. 

But the fact that you have legs, that really makes it all worth it! You had been working on these during the session, until Equius went crazy and started killing people, because once that had happened you weren't too interested in getting new legs from him anymore. Still... you wiggle your metallic toes and your mouth splits into a grin, disbelieving and utterly thrilled. The place where the biometal hooks into your thighs is horrendously sore, and it only gets more sore when you try to move your legs, but you can move them.

?CG: SO I FINALLY GATHERED UP THE LITTLE TORN SHREDS OF WHAT REMAINS OF MY DIGNITY AND STEPPED MY SORRY ASS OUT INTO THE MOONLIGHT

?CG: ONLY TO DISCOVER THAT PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE HAS MYSTERIOUSLY VANISHED.

?CG: I SWEAR TO GOD IF ANY OF YOU JUST WALKED OFF FROM THE HIVE BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD BE ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY HILARIOUS TO GIVE KARKAT AMPLE REASON TO BUST ONE OF THE ALREADY OVER-STRAINED VEINS IN HIS BEATPUMP, I AM GOING TO SHOVE MY FOOT INTO YOUR WASTE CHUTE UNTIL IT CAN KICK OUT YOUR TEETH.

?CG: SERIOUSLY

?AT: i'M JUST, aVOIDING vRISKA MOSTLY,

?AT: wAIT, shE CAN SEE THAT CAN'T SHE,

You nod to his thanks. “Are you able to move them?” You need to know that they work. You want the gratification. Nepeta pats Tavros on the forehead and then looks back to you. 

“Isn’t he adorable? He’s so polite! Can I keep him?”

“Keep him?” You raise a brow. “For what? Nepeta, I will not allow you to corrupt yourself this way. No matter how angry you are with me.”

She laughs again.

“But he’s so cuteee! And I don’t want to hurt him anymore. Let me keep him!”

You furrow your brow and look back to Tavros. You wonder if he can feel Nepeta’s hands running through his disgusting hair or interlocking with his grubby little fingers. It angers you. You ignore the sweat. 

“I have no more need to hurt him. The legs are attached,” you reply. You are extremely confused. Nepeta glares at you. 

“We have to keep him!”

“Why?”

“He shouldn’t see the others die,” she says, a twisted smile crawling across her face. Something about the way she is staring back at you whilst stroking Tavros is bothering you. You can no longer ignore your sweat. You get up to retrieve a new towel. 

“I don’t know what you are planning,” you tell her as you wipe the sweat from your neck. You then replace your old towel with the new towel across your shoulders. “I feel that it is a terrible idea and you should stop this at once.”

“You OWE me, Equius,” Nepeta snarls at you. “You have allowed me to die. You have allowed Sollux to die. You must do something to repay your debts, Equius.”

“What do you mean?”

“You will do as I say,” she answers. “We will fix this glitch.”

“How?”

“Recycle their data. Over and over. As many times as it takes.”

"Yeah," you confirm aloud, with a quiet clear of your throat and an awkward, hesitant smile. "Yeah, they work gr-" 

They do not, in fact, work great, or rather they will not until you better understand how to use them, how much they weigh, nor will they until the nerves finish healing. Equius really is a genius with these things, you have to admit, and it's downright impressive. But that isn't why you stopped. You stopped because Equius kept talking - Equius, who never talks - and he kept talking to someone who most definitely was not you.

No more need to hurt you?

You hold your breath as you unbutton Tavros’ pants and begin sliding them down his legs. Holding your breath doesn’t make this any less disgusting or any less painful, but it does make you feel a little bit better, even if it is in a superstitious way. This is far too inappropriate for you. You feel extremely uncomfortable. You then notice your clothing beginning to stick to your body: you are DRENCHED in sweat. You find yourself wishing with all of your might that Kanaya was here to do the deed. The mere sight of this lowblood without his pants makes you feel extremely dirty. You will need to cleanse yourself very thoroughly after this. In order to continue, you remind yourself that you are not performing a lewd act, but instead, you are merely conducting business. The whole point of this is to secure the robotic legs. Nothing more.

You do your best to be gentle with the little troll’s legs, so as to keep them in tact. However, it then dawns on you that they will be removed anyway. Breaking them doesn’t really matter. You quickly remove the pants and set them on top of the robotic legs and then examine where you will make the cut. Your stomach lurches. When you cut this little filth, his atrocious brown blood will most likely soak your hands. The thought of it seeping into every crack as it drips down from his wounds and infecting your work table causes you to turn away and dry heave a bit. No, no! You cannot have this brown staining your hands. You cannot have this mudblood all over your space.

This task is becoming far too difficult for you. It is crossing ever line you have ever come to set in your life. All you meant to do is give Tavros new robotic legs. You didn’t want to have to deal with his blood. You swallow the knot forming in your throat and pick up the homemade knife. You press it against the little troll’s skin and close your eyes tightly. No. You can’t do this. 

“Equius what are you doing?”

Now of all times, she had to come back. At this moment, Nepeta had to return and make your beatpump stop. You open your eyes to see her standing over Tavros beside you, examining his legs as well. You have no idea how she got into your room, but then again you never do anymore. Your eyes suddenly widen when you realize that she is in this block with Tavros pants-less. You drop the knife and raise your arm to block her eyes. 

“Nepeta! Don’t look!”

“Don’t be silly, Equius! I’m here to help you!” She stands behind you and places a tender hand on the back of each of yours, guiding your hands back to the task at hand. “I knew you couldn’t do this without me. What are meowrails for? Hee Hee!” You are beyond confused. The last time you saw her, she hated you. Now all of a sudden, she was acting like her pale feelings for you have returned. Still, you allow her to help you make the cut on each leg, severing them completely from Tavros. As you predicted, The cut was not completely clean, and you need to clean it up with the blowtorch. This part of the task you complete on your own with Nepeta looking on with a smile. However, it is not the familiar smile you remember. She doesn’t look happy. She looks…evil. She looks…like she is enjoying this way too much. You secure the robotic legs to Tavros and then slide the pants back on. You will need to clean the blood a bit later. Right now, you are preoccupied with Nepeta. You stare at her, waiting for her to speak. 

“I liked that,” she tells you. “I want to do it more.”

“More?” you ask. 

The third thing is that Equius is watching you very intently. You try to sit up but can't really bend at the waist so it's a lost effort; the best you can manage is to groan unhappily as your head churns and aches with the attempt, and to flutter your eyes open, squinting over at Equius. You are, frankly, in an incredible amount of pain. You try not to let that show, or think about how much blood you've lost.

It was, as it turned out, an excellent judgement on his beatpump's part. He was fairly certain he felt it jump into his windhole as soon as Equius picked up that big, hulking piece of metal, easily the size of Equius's own arm rather than one of Tavros's skinnier, shorter ones. He wheeled a half-pace back, hands unfolding in a hurry to do so, out of sheer reflex. Vriska terrified him often. This was nothing new to him. 

"Wait, what-" The impact, however, was, and it was really a miracle his spine didn't snap. Tavros felt his head crack and his body fell limp, thrown over the arm of his own chair by the force and onto the floor; the wheelchair toppled nicely onto its side and made a loud crashing noise against the floor that it was unlikely anyone would investigate. Equius's incredible strength undoubtedly left him with one hell of a concussion, he managed to think hazily as he lost consciousness, mumbling something incoherent that even he didn't really understand. 

You piece together the joints very carefully on your work table. You are sure you have made the legs at least close to the same length as Tavros’ real legs. You wouldn’t want to make him TOO tall. Or TOO short. Although you feel that short might suit him, you have done your best to remember the measurements used on the first set of legs in order to make these ones. You use a blowtorch to finish the job. 

Safety shield for your face? Of course not. Your glasses are good enough. Besides, you are extremely STRONG. The heat does nothing to you, and you have never used a shield for your face before. As you then bend the knee of the first leg to be sure that it is functional, a thought strikes you. 

How are you going to remove Tavros’ legs? You stop what you are doing. Your eyes scan the finished legs in front of you as you struggle to come up with a solution. You glance at the robotic pile beside you, wondering if you could use sharp metal to get the job done. You frown. The cut would not nearly be clean enough to secure these legs. 

You then remember the blowtorch in your hand. The concentrated heat welds your robotic pieces together with perfect precision. Maybe it can be used to clean up the cut you make with a piece of scrap metal? Surely Tavros will need to be unconcious for this. Or perhaps the smaller troll will come up with a solution when he arrives? You decide to wait until he gets to your block to address the issue. For now, you bend the knee of the second leg and then test the ankle joints as well. 

He doesn’t want to stick around. Fair enough. You would prefer to work in solitude anyway. You can call him back when they are finished to fit them and test them out. Lowblood or not, you are sort of looking forward to this project. You give him yet another nod.