Little in Training

80% of being a woman/cock doll is letting things happen to you. He asks for your phone number, you let him have it. He asks you on a date, you let him take you.

The difficult part comes after the niceties. It can be hard to let go, and let other things happen to you. It may help to consider yourself as a well, and he’s the bucket. You exist to give, he exists to take. If the well is dry, it can’t give anything. If it can’t give anything, it’s useless. (A bucket, on the other hand, will always be useful in any other well.)

He wants to come upstairs, don’t hesitate. Let him. He wants to take photos, let him. He wants your asshole? Well, what did you expect? You let him take you out, you let him do the nice things. Now it’s time to let him do everything else. Men are designed to want and you’re designed to give.

Hubby has been more demanding recently. When he bosses me around, I let him. This may sound like I’m topping from the bottom, but it’s not what I mean. I “let him” in that when he tells me what to do, I’ve actively tried not to resist. He half-jokingly told me to stop talking the other day. The old me may not have let that happen, snapping back with some remark, needing to have the last word to seem strong or witty. But I let myself be silenced, and it was like the endorphins rushed straight to my clit. I am a well full of willfulness that Husband is taking away, one bucket at a time. I’m happier because I let him.

We get so nervous over stupid things. What will other people think? Is this too humiliating? What if he’s just using me?

Let him.

Listen to that voice inside you that says “obey.” Being smart, talented, artistic- these are all good qualities, but they won’t be as important as your servility. You can cash in on them a bit, in that your loss of dignity will be that much greater, your fall, that much harder. But you’ll be simultaneously released from the pressures of being those things.

So when you think you have something important to say, and he decides to put tape over your mouth? Let him. Be grateful that he can see past what you think you need. Give in, let yourself be silenced.

Because when you let him, you can finally allow yourself to love, honor, and obey.

1. Would you rather be blindfolded or blindfold me?

2. Would you rather orgasm while performing oral or during intercourse?

3. What was your high school sex fantasy?

4. What’s your favorite position?

5.  Which part of your body do you consider the most sexy?

6.  Do you like to swallow?

7.  Who do you fantasize about when you’re alone?

8. Your last sexual encounter; good or bad and why?

9. Where is one place you would never have sex?

10. Top or bottom?

11.  Best sexual complement you ever got?

12. When was the first time you masturbated?

13.  Have/would you ever have sex outside?

14. Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?

15.  Do you sleep in pajamas, underwear, or nothing at all?

16.  If you had a sexual “to-do” list, what would be on top of the list?

17. Is a weird “sex face/orgasm face” a total deal breaker?

18. Do you have a gag reflex?

19. Is your sex life award-winning or a total flop?

20. Are piercings sexy?

21. Can/Have you ever squirted before?

22. List your kinks.

23. How did you discover you were kinky?

24. What was your first kinky sexual experience?

25. Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life?  If so, what are they?

26. What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy?

27. Something that never fails to make you horny:

28. Where is one place you would never have sex?

29. The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when:

30. Whats the best way to sexually bind someone? (handcuffs, ropes, etc.)

31. Whats the fastest way to make you horny?

32. Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

33. Two things you like/dislike about oral sex:

34. How big is too big?

35. One sexual thing you would never do:

36. Three spots that drive me insane:

37. Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?

38. Is it good sex even if you don’t cum?

39. Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? Why/Why not?

40.  If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be now?

41. Do you like giving head? Why/why not?

42. Do you own any sex toys? If so, how long have you had them?

43. Do you watch porn?

44. Have you had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)

45. How would you react if you found out your parents had sex on your bed?

46. Spanking: turn on or turn off?

47.  What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

48. Biggest sexual fantasy?

49. Kitchen counter, couch, or on top of the dryer?

Can you please for for the love of god stop paying attention to that bullshit on Tumblr that tells you that you’re supposed to be a worthless object? You do realize that everybody who is spouting off about that crap doesn’t put their face or their address online?

BECAUSE IT ISN’T REAL!

You’re not going to spend your life in a basement serving somebody. It’s a fucking fantasy. And it bullshit like this that destroys the positive and meaningful interactions with in BDSM.

No one is dominant or submissive 100% of the time. It’s not possible. We’re human beings. We need to rest. We need to rejuvenate. Yeah you can have a hot session that goes on for a full weekend. You can embrace every bit of who you are as a dominant or submissive. But there’s always a break.

And if you haven’t figured this out, real dominant men provide Aftercare and take of their boys. Full stop. It’s not even a question. If somebody is going to put you through an intense situation and can’t even fucking bother holding onto you and caressing you to let you calm down, they’re just a piece of shit. There is something psychologically wrong with them and you shouldn’t be around them in the first place.

Let’s address this Alpha bullshit. No one is better than somebody else. No person is ordained as this creature that is meant to be superior to others. If someone honestly believes that they are better than someone else on purely a basis of humanity, they are most likely a very sad individual. They never achieved anything meaningful. Maybe one day they started going to the gym and realized that someone was attracted to them and then they could exert their low self-esteem on another. I can’t fucking stand people like this. And they spout their bullshit all over the internet.

And here’s the simple truth to all of this, you may read this right now and think that I’m completely wrong. But as soon as the fantasy wears off, you will start to realize that a good man is far better than anything that this fantasy world could ever provide.

So please wake the fuck up. Believe in yourself. Know that you don’t deserve to be treated like crap. Submission is a gift. The dominant has to be worthy of it. You make that determination – not them.

Stand up for yourself. I believe in you. Look past the bullshit.

Sincerely,

What’s her favorite color? What’s something that always makes her laugh? What are her goals? Her dreams? What is she afraid of? Do you know what she likes do to when she wants to relax? Do you know what helps her when she’s had a bad day? Can you recognize when she needs extra love because she’s feeling needy but doesn’t want to say anything? Can you tell when she’s bothered by something? Do you know her favorite way to be held, to be cuddled, to be wrapped up in your arms? Are you her safe place to go to when the world gets scary? Does she feel safe opening up to you? Does she feel like she can tell you anything? Do you punish from a place of love/caring, for correction of her destructive behaviors, for her own good? Do you see her as a person, a whole complete, complicated person? Do you make her feel respected and cherished? Do you protect her? Do you take care of her?