You Had An Entire Oak Tree Shoved Up Your Ass.

evil johnmary is literally just regular johnmary. if mary hadn’t died sure there was a possibility they would stay fail married but there‘s also a non zero possibility that 20 years later john’s mechanic buddy is the starring witness on an unsolved mysteries episode about how he thinks “he just walked out and never and back” is a bs excuse and he wants cops to retest dna evidence but no one believes that mary campbell doting single mother who was raising two boys on her own while working full time because she never even tried to get insurance money. john’s mechanic buddy cites the fact that mary’s parents had a strained relationship with her regarding john and after they died in a batshit murder suicide she and john almost immediately got married. and that her and john were kind of on the rocks before john took off. john’s OTHER mechanic buddy thinks john just ran off because he knows mary winchester and he had to teach her to change a tire how can anybody believe she was strong enough to kill and dispose of john who’s an army vet who worked with his hands all day

mary’s “best friend” aka housewife that lives on their street also makes a showing on this ep and she’s like mary rightfully wants nothing to do with slander but i’m gonna defend her because yall are ridiculous. if you met john and mary you’d know that mary was a saint and she was even more of a saint for putting up with john. the amount of times my husband had to come over and help her with something because john had gone off god knows where. and he was cheatin on her! while she was with their babies he was making plans to run off with some twenty year old. it’s no mystery where he went. that girl’d say jump and he’d say how high. i know she told him to pull as much money as he could from his account and then told him to get in her lil camaro he was always workin on down at the garage with her so they could start somewhere new

paging mary scholars @uhuraha @marynatural i need to know your takes on this

CHRIST. something something “i never realized how long you were cleaning up dad’s messes” applying not just to john’s son but to john’s little brother - bc Unnamed Uncle has to be a little brother bc john was an only child when his dad disappeared/died. idr john lore because he’s boring but he’s from illinois i think? illinois to kansas is NOT a long drive. pov you’re Winchester Junior and your half/step brother who is eight awkward previous marriage years older than you drops off the face of your planet when he goes off to The War and you only see him at thanksgiving and the only other occasions you talk to him are at his freakishly small wedding and when him and his wife send you the it’s a boy you’re an uncle card. it’s not even him that calls about the freak accident it’s your MOM who’s freaking out because he’s not answering her calls so you drive ten hours to the address that’s on your handful of cards and when you get there there’s no john or kids and when you say you’re looking for the winchesters people start asking you what you’re going to do about the funeral for a woman you know solely through the small talk she made with you about what you’re studying. 

Come get y’all’s slur

season one except dean is trying to parent sam & jack & adam all at once. adam sits in the backseat and yells he’s LOOKING at me because jack has been staring unblinkingly at him for five minutes. sam thinks it’s funny to throw things in the general direction of adam and/or jack and just barely miss (what? I’m not touching them!). dean threatens at least once to pull this car over, goddamnit!

Oddly, this helps them blend into normal scenarios a lot better; they’re not a weirdly young group of creepy kids with too much blood on them, they’re a super tired older brother who can’t get his younger brothers to stop punching each other in the face. Dean has an identity crisis in a Shop Rite one day when he enters an aisle with Sam pushing the cart over Adam’s toes and Jack trying to smuggle frozen hot dogs into his coat and then looks up to see a woman not much older than him with three small kids trying to beat the shit out of each other with cereal boxes. They just share a look of complete exhaustion.

hbo spn develops dean's skills with homemade paranormal tech. every other episode dean pulls out a new emf dector, a spirit box, a customized voice recorder, and even a pirated angel radio receptor!! she's good at tweaking wires and making junk work

Give Me Your Supernatural Hot Takes and I'll Tell You Where You'll Go When You Die

a dean being more against sams powers bc of hell trauma bc it reminds him too much of the demons and things he saw/went through in hell instead of just bc he’s prejudiced against powers of course this is before he finds out about the demon blood so when he learns about it he just freaks out more in a panicked way instead of angry idk I think it would add a more interesting rift between the brothers if it’s filed by trauma rather than anger

In HBO spn more things are unexplained????? CW always wrapping things up in a neat little bow like it’s a procedural crime drama but like. Sometimes fucked up things happen on the back roads of America and you just have to accept it. Not everything is monster you can kill. Sometimes ppl go missing and sometimes buildings appear where they shouldn’t and sometimes animals mutate and that’s just what you see when you’re driving through the midwest at 3 am

maybe no one’s takes about supernatural are good or bad because supernatural is an incoherent show with 300+ episodes and four showrunners who all had different visions and a ridiculous number of writers and producers and network meddling and eric kripke running his mouth on twitter after 10 years away to imply sam and dean commit voter fraud and ever-changing additions to “canon” by cast members depending on their mood/the position of the stars