shit i say β sentence starters
i decided to make a meme out of all the shit i say regularly. enjoy!
β IβM GONNA MCFREAKING LOSE MY MIND. β
β Iβm going to shove an entire baseball bat down my throat and smash my insides. β
β *aggressive finger guns* β
β *high pitched screeching* β
β Thatβs where youβre right, kiddo.Β β
β I AM THE ONE THAT WEIGHS A TON DONβT NEED A GUNβ β
β GOTTA FUCKING BLAST. β
β Thatβs my cue to blast outta here. β
β GOT ME MOTHERFUCKING MCSHOOK. β
β Thoroughly shooken. β
β Trust me, Iβm a professional. β
β Iβm gonna throw myself off of a fucking bridge. β
β Iβm convinced I was a cat in a past life. β
β Inject caffeine directly into my veins, please. β
β I literally have a βwhite people voiceβ for when Iβm being polite. β
β I sound like a fucking twelve year old. β
β I got a tiny ass head. Itβs like a fucking golf ball. β
β _____ is the literal bane of my existence. β
β I hate you. β¦Iβm kidding. β
β Yeah, well, heβs/sheβs/theyβre a manipulative cunt, so. β
β Iβm gonna punch you in the fucking mouth. β
β Iβm small and bitter like an espresso. β
β I am Denatonium benzoate, aka the most bitter substance on the planet. β
β *frustrated groaning* β
β I hate _____ with every fiber of my being. β
β I will kick your fucking ass. β
β Donβt you fucking dare. β
β I get it, Iβm fucking short. β
β You mean a lot to me. Like, seriously, a fucking lot. β
β I do it because I love you. β
β *fondly* Fucking nerd. β
β *fondly* Dumbass. β
β You are my absolute favorite person. β
β Donβt even fucking think about leaving without giving me a hug. β
β *whining noises and grabby hands* β
β There he/she/they go(es), the love of my life. β
β Itβs literally unfair how attractive he/she/they is/are. β
β Look at how pretty he/she/they is/are, Iβm gonna fucking cry. β
β I just wanna smooch his/her/their face. β
β JUST LOOK AT HIM/HER/THEM! IβM GONNA SCREAM. β
β You best not be fucking texting and driving. β
β Do you want ____? β
β Please donβt do that, youβre worrying me. β
β Listen, my job is to make sure everyone else is okay. β
β βDrink water kids!β I say as I am severely dehydrated. β
β ____, thatβs not good. β
β Who do I have to fucking fight? βΒ
β I hate myself with every fiber of my being. β
β Iβm just really fucking scared. β
β Iβm sorry that I love you. β
β Iβm sorry that Iβm like this. β
β Whatβs wrong with me? β
β God, this happens every fucking time. β
β I loved her/him/them. And she/he/they fucking abandoned me. β
β I donβt know what Iβm doing. β
β Why the fuck am I crying? β
β Iβm getting bad again. β
β Itβs like everything goes in one ear, out the other with you. β
β Iβve told you time and fucking time again that it makes me feel like shit, and yet you still do it. β
β I look and feel like absolute shit. β
β Itβs nothing, Iβm fine. β
β Iβm so fucking exhausted. β
β I really wanna just sleep. β
β I need to just sleep for like 17 years. β
β I could literally fall asleep anywhere. β
β Iβm gonna pass out in the middle of the hallway. β
β Iβm already fucking tired. β
β If I sit still in one place for like 30 minutes, I will fall asleep. β
β Can I just nap instead? β
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