A Cuckold In Love

I get a lot of questions about the benefits for me and for my husband about the benefits of structured orgasm control as part of addressing the issue of “mismatched libidos” in heterosexual relationships. For many people, as soon as they make a start on this journey, a range of benefits become clear pretty quickly. So, in this case, I believe the requests for providing a list benefits are for people who are still in the process of deciding if this approach is for them.

The short answer is - yes, your life (and sex life) will change for the better. Give it a try.

The second short answer - yes, use a chastity cage. While it is possible to practise orgasm control without one, the benefits for you, but especially for him, of using a chastity cage are exponential. Perhaps the list of benefits below will elucidate why:

Control vs Neglect

In most heterosexual, long-term relationships, women have a significantly lower sex drive than their male partners. Men have less sex than they would ideally like. In this sense, marriage means that females control the allocation of sex. Already. However, without a deliberate structure and communication around the element of this control, the mismatched libido is interpreted by the male as ‘neglect’ or the feeling of not being desired. This can drive the male to pornography, masturbation or ‘nagging for sex’, which puts unwanted pressure on you, and is a serious turn-off.

When orgasm control is discussed and structured as part of the couple’s sexual dynamic, the male’s perception moves from being ‘neglected’ to ‘controlled’. The latter is highly arousing, and the sexual dynamics flips on its head. By controlling his sexual release, you as a couple are indicating that it has a ‘value’ far greater than when he is simply free to masturbate at will. His greatest physical reward, and the oxytocin, bonding, dopamine rush that follows becomes linked to you, not to Pornhub.

More Sex, More Orgasms (For YOU)

Orgasm control is about controlling the MALE orgasm, not yours. The worst thing you can do is be sexually inactive between release windows. Rather just call the whole thing off now - it will not work.

Rather, you can and should have frequent orgasms - and he will love giving them to you. My partner and I have sex frequently outside of his release window. I unlock him and we have standard sex - the only difference is that he is not allowed to cum. He goes slower, uses toys, users his hands and tongue - whatever he needs to do to follow the rules - and I can deliciously and *selfishly* enjoy it. Once we're done, he is locked back up until next time.

This is what he expects and desires - don't feel bad for one second. Stop thinking in the old school "Sex is about the male being satisfied" mindset. It is mindblowing for him in every way - both mentally and physically.

Reigniting the Desire

As has been said on this blog before, males are programmed to ‘move on’ emotionally after ejaculating. Orgasm leads to a spike in prolactin which is a ‘shut off valve’ for intimacy and sexual desire. Frequent masturbation is therefore a total intimacy killer. Controlling the male orgasm leads to increases in oxytocin focused on you as his key objects of desire. He is heavily sexually aroused and his desire for you will skyrocket. Now, he is fully aware that he can’t do anything about it until his scheduled release, so it translates as increased intimacy, and increased energy for other things.

No Pressure for Sex

Modern marriages are defined by women ‘feeling bad’ every time they are not up for sex. The perception of old-world society is that it is the women’s duty to provide sex whenever the male desires. With chastity and orgasm control, this is completely reversed. Sex is not the goal, and the ongoing sexual rush of the denial is what the male will savor the most.

We have PIV (penis in vagina) sex frequently. Most often this is outside of his release window, so he knows that he is not allowed to orgasm, and after I am finished, he is re-locked. It's a mind-screw and a challenge for him, but he absolutely LOVES it!

Chastity is Effortless

With him in chastity, I can do all of this without really having to do much. A bit of attention here and there, a bit of teasing and he is at a constant, positive simmer. It is about communication, structure and commitment.

Release Days are Effortless

When I do allow him an orgasm, this too can be as effortless as you could possibly imagine. On release days, his excitement is so high that bringing him to climax can take as little as a few seconds. This is about “release” - after weeks locked up he will not be able to last very long. Sometimes he will cum just by taking the cage off... In which case, job done 😂.

I usually start by having him bring me to orgasm as usual - with his tongue, hands or a toy. Now it's his turn (for once!).

First decision - do you want him to have his release while in the cage or unlocked?

Caged: it's about balls and nipples. I recommend one hand plays with his nips while the other pulls, squeezes and strokes his balls. Then begin tapping his balls at a regular rhythm, building intensity slowly. Tell him he has permission to cum... Keep tapping and in a few minutes he will come to the edge. He is to ask permission one more time before he about to cum. As he is coming, tap / slap harder until he is finished.

Unlocked: Take off the cage, grip his balls tightly and pull them away from his body, back and forth. Try to touch his nub as little as possible. At most, use a slow, infrequent stroke with a single finger from the base of his nub up the shaft to the tip. He must ask permission just as he is about to cum. At this point, tighten your grip and pull his balls away from his body and hold them there until he is finished.

Tip 1: If you do unlock him for release, always relock directly after he orgasms. This significantly reduces the "drop" he will experience after orgasm and will push him through the 2-3 grouchiness period much smoother. He loves it if I put the cage on him, but if you prefer he locks himself, straight after his release, firmly tell him that it's time to go back in the cage.

Tip 2: Feed it to him! Tell him to clean up with his tongue or at least lick it off your hand. Recycling is important 😂.

Cages Look Sexy

I think of chastity cages as jewellery which is very aesthetically pleasing. Unlocked penises flop about, lean to one side, grow and shrink unpredictably and are often pretty badly manicured. When locked in a cage, everything is so neat. Males will need to do a bit of gardening down there to make it as comfortable as possible. Everything is held in place. His nub is encased and immobilized. His balls are held tight and presented forward. He will want to wear tight underwear or swimwear for comfort purposes, which presents such a neat little package. Every time I see the cage I am reminded that he is doing this for me, and I get a little shiver down my spine. It just looks better, and I love it!

Arousal on Demand

Males think about sex all the time. The vast majority of sexual thoughts and corresponding erections go completely ignored. When locked in chastity, these sexual thoughts (and erections) are contained, and are linked to you as the keyholder. This is highly arousing for the male, and will feel like direct attention from you - even though you may not even be in the same postcode. The cage works for you full-time, and is there whenever the male is aroused. Extremely powerful!

Discipline

The chastity cage helps males to stick to the rules. Most males masturbate significantly more than you will ever imagine. For the vast majority, they will NEVER have gone 21 days or more without masturbating since they first discovered it in their teens. With a cage, masturbation is simply off the table. They must direct this energy elsewhere. Which leads to :

Weight Loss and Conditioning

All of this extra energy must go somewhere, and in most cases, this is directed to physical exercise and conditioning. Many women report that time in chastity has lead to significant weight loss and body sculpting in their males. Motivation and drive are seriously tangible chastity benefits that you will notice as little as 7 days in.

Service

Oxytocin is the courting hormone. Increases in this wonder drug caused by orgasm control will often lead to a far more focused, attentive and service-oriented mentality. Whether conscious on his part or not, I notice a happier, more helpful male, with a higher attention-to-detail and eagerness to please. Use this as you see fit!

A Better Sex Life

Most importantly, chastity and orgasm denial will improve your sex life. Sex does not equate to penetration anymore, although it certainly can if you wish. Unlock him at any point in the schedule for sex of you're keen for it - it's just that outside of the release window, he will have to find a way not to orgasm. You are the focus until his release date!

Most importantly, "sex" in long-term marriages is about sexual interaction - intimacy, honesty, communication and care. This is why you are doing this in the first place. Rewire your thinking as a couple, and become a highly engaged, balanced and aligned sexual partnership.

Conclusions

In most long term heterosexual relationships, there is an inevitable drop in the frequency of sex. Unfortunately, the ‘lust’ and spontaneity that defined early parts of the relationship get pushed aside in the face of the more ‘practical’ side of a long term marriage - finances, work, chores, children… the list goes on.

On top of this, most women typically have a lower sex drive than men in long-term monogamous relationships. This is often described as a “mismatched libido” - a situation where the male is craving sexual interaction and the female is not feeling the same urge - or, at least - not with the same frequency. Subtle cues that one partner is ‘not in the mood’ will often discourage the other partner from even probing for physical affection in the first place. In these cases, it is common for the male to feel sexually under-utilized or under-engaged.

This mismatched libido situation often leads to two of the most common sexual mood-killers in long-term relationships:

The male begging you for sex, which is a huge turnoff for you

Giving the male sex because you feel ‘bad’, which is a huge turnoff for him

Also, less frequent ejaculation makes lovemaking far more difficult for the male as increased sensitivity and pent up ‘horniness’ is a recipe for premature ejaculation and performance anxiety which can make the male hesitant to initiate. To counter this, males will turn to masturbation and pornography - both of which increase the production of the sexual ‘shut-off’ hormone, prolactin, which makes the male significantly less likely to be responsive and affectionate to their partner. Males who are masturbating frequently will often appear irritable or ‘grumpy’ as a result of these courting hormones being suppressed. It’s easy to see how these combining factors lead toward a vicious-cycle of sexual decline.

A Solution: Aligning to the Male Hormonal Cycle

As a biological reality, trying to increase the female libido is not a realistic solution to this issue. It is much more effective to manage the libido imbalance from the male’s side.

This is done by aligning the male’s orgasm frequency with their typical sexual hormonal cycle. Luckily, the timings of this cycle are fairly predictable and well understood. It typically works as follows:

Directly post-orgasm: Males experience a 'drop' caused by a rush of prolactin - an energy and oxytocin (courting, cuddling, compliance hormone) suppressant.

3-5 days post-orgasm: Prolactin starts to return to normal levels.

You may notice the typical "3 day itch" where he's grouchy or irritable. He's highly likely to want to masturbate in this period to get the endorphin rush to offset his slump. He could ask you to unlock him - if so, he's testing your commitment. Tell him he’s doing well and to push a little longer. A little teasing or attention will get him through.

5-21 days post-orgasm: Oxytocin levels start to increase.

You will start to notice a glorious, loving, caring - even obedient version of your male! His desire for you will escalate through this period.

21+ days post-orgasm: Oxytocin production starts to plateau and stabilize.

More of the same, but after 21 days the dramatic increase will subside, although the levels don't drop off necessarily.

This is why many believe that the 21 days mark is the ideal minimum point at which to allow male release, effectively pushing the reset button for the cycle to start again. This alignment to the male’s hormonal cycle is the essence of what is broadly known as Male Orgasm Control.

Implementing Male Orgasm Control

Now for the fun bit - for you and him! The most obvious, but often neglected part of initiating a more structured sexual relationship in this way is communication. Whether this is your idea initially, or his, is irrelevant. Communicating openly and honestly will set the parameters for the thriving sexual journey ahead.

This starts by collectively agreeing to place the male’s orgasms under her control. Setting this, and other rules, as well as a clear structure (even schedule) will be the first part of the journey, after which you will adjust as you see fit.

For example:

Schedule release windows: perhaps a day of the week every 18-21+ days. This is suprisingly useful in long term relationships as it keeps you both on track!

The male is to agree to have no orgasm outside of this window. You (or he) may wish him to wear a chastity device during time, which has a variety of benefits (see below).

Remain intimate with kissing, cuddling, teasing, massage throughout the cycle. This is spontaneous and unplanned intimacy that is at the heart of bonding as a couple.

On release day, give him permission to orgasm. This may be during sex, you may wish to give him a handjob, BJ, touchless orgasm, caged orgasm or simply ask him to masturbate to climax.

5. The cycle begins again!

It’s as simple as that! Orgasm control is in essence about providing a structure and ‘game’ element to your sexual relationship that addresses the key issues of mismatched libidos. For him, the game is one that gives him focus, attention and satiates his need to be desired, in alignment with his sexual hormonal cycle. For you, it balances the libido differences that so often cause misalignment, and gives you clarity, structure and fun sense of control which you will both find hugely rewarding and exciting.

Commit to it!

Something crucial to note at this point: this journey succeeds only if you, as the female, commit to it. Whether you introduced this to your partner or the other way around, if your male is locked in a chastity cage, he is committed to make it work! There will be times when he's super into it, and times when he madly wishes he could unlock and jerk off - but he can't - you have the key.

What he needs is reciprocation from your side - committing to the process, acknowledging and embracing your control, and never simply 'lock and forget'.

Set the schedule

Control (hide) the key

Set some rules

Follow through!

The benefits for you are:

His behavior will change as he, even on a hormonal level, will be trying to 'seduce' you and please you

There is no pressure for you to ‘be in the mood’ outside of the release schedule… there will be no 'nagging' / begging for sex from his side, which is a big turnoff.

He will have more sexual energy for you, which you can direct however you choose - even towards non-sexual things like home tasks, keeping fit and sexy for you… be creative!

The element of control can be lots of fun - for both of you!

The benefits for him are:

Increased energy and focus

Clarity regarding the structure of your sexual relationship, rather than constant 'hope / disappointment' of the libido imbalance

Sex is not the focus, so even small things like verbal cues or physical touch and teasing are sufficient and very pleasurable for him. In the 5-21 day period, the male is climbing towards peak arousal. Any sexual interaction - kissing, touching, massaging, foreplay - will be totally electric for him. In many ways, the orgasm itself becomes secondary.

The release, when it comes, is totally mind blowing for him.

The Case for the Cage

It is often surprising for female partners to learn that in most cases, the process of male orgasm control is significantly improved for the male when a chastity cage is used. Some key reasons are:

Discipline:

Firstly, and most obviously, the cage makes it impossible for him to masturbate outside of the release window. Many males have NEVER gone 21 days without orgasm since they had their first one in their teens! This is the training aid that they need to align to the new schedule.

Zero Erections:

Another key reason is that having regular erections without stimulation and release is extremely frustrating for the male. It is effectively like making a fresh cup of coffee and allowing him to smell it, but never allowing him to taste. Locking him up effectively and painlessly prevents erections, which means he is not getting to smell the coffee in the first place - at least until he is allowed to do something about it in the release window.

Decreased Sensitivity:

The cage also prevents access to the most sensitive part of his nub (the frenulum), which means this is not constantly being simulated unintentionally during movement, sleep etc. This frustration can result in whining, sleep disruptions and begging for sex, which really defeats the purpose.

Arousal:

Finally, a chastity cage should be understood as a tool which provides a constant reminder of the shared sexual experience between you and him. Without any effort on your part, you as the keyholder are driving him wild (in a good way!) every time he thinks of sex - whether in a staff meeting, driving to work, at the supermarket or on a running trail. The sexual charge is highly exhilarating. Try it on for size 😉.

Conclusions

Stumbled on a good resource on Medium.com I thought worth sharing:

One of the hardest things about male chastity is actually getting your man to stop himself from cumming.

My husband and I, have found a simple way to do this. First comes the strategy, and then there is are specific tactics within the strategy.

The strategy is easy: he’s found it’s easier for him not to have an orgasm when he imagines it as a ‘cliff’ he’s going to go over.

And once he knows where that ‘edge’ is, then it’s much easier to back away from it (obviously); but it’s also easier then to avoid with subsequent edging. That’s the really important thing because it means we can make love and play for a long time without having to worry about him being too excited to carry on without having an orgasm.

The trick (he says) is knowing how to find the edge, recognise it when it’s approaching and not go flying over it in his enthusiasm.

So now we come to the orgasm denial tactics.

Remember: the point of ‘no return’ is the edge.

So as he’s approaching it he mentally maps his orgasm and how far he is from it onto a path to the edge of the cliff. He literally sees this path in his mind’s eye and imagines himself walking along it.

Now, if you’re going to ask me exactly how he does this, I can’t answer because I’m not in his head. But this is how he describes it to me and I can say two things for sure:

It takes practice. And you’re better erring on the side of ‘safety’.

It works. The chances of him cumming when he’s not supposed to are vanishingly small now. This is A Good Thing, for two reasons: first, we can have a lot more fun and do more things without worrying; and secondly, it makes my teasing of him much more worthwhile because I can push him further.

By working as a team it’s possible for me to take him to that edge and back over and over again before calling it a day.

And like anything, the more you do it, the better at it you’re going to get.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking all or even most of the fun of chastity is to be found in tease and denial, because if you’re not serving her desires and worshiping her body then you’re missing out on some of the most exquisite torture you can imagine. My favorite rapidly became the strapon — almost as good as the real thing and certainly good enough for long term orgasm denial.

Bottom line: your man does not need to orgasm.

He may want to, and there are reasons you might sometimes allow it (and some fiendish ways of doing it for him), but when it comes down to it he doesn’t need to orgasm, ever.

An excellent read as always from @femaleled especially so for me on a personal level as its an area I'm looking to evolve into with my own submissive @female-leds-boy

Not for you boy! You'll stay home in chastity and finish your chores.

“If you take it longer than 30 minutes, you end up in deep sleep. Have you ever taken a nap and felt worse when you woke up? That’s what’s happening — you’re sleeping too long and you’re going into a stage of sleep that’s very difficult to get out of.”  [x]

Sleep inertia is a physiological state characterized by a decline in motor dexterity and a subjective feeling of grogginess immediately following an abrupt awakening. The impaired alertness may interfere with the ability to perform mental or physical tasks. Sleep inertia can also refer to the tendency of a person wanting to return to sleep.

Studies by the Human Factors Division at NASA Ames Research Center have shown that a variety of factors influence the severity and duration of sleep inertia. One includes:

Depth of sleep when awakened. After roughly 30 minutes, the brain enters into slow-wave sleep (deep sleep). Being awakened during this stage yields more sleep inertia than awakening from other stages of sleep. However, since one cannot predict accurately the stages of sleep that will occur within a nap, there is no physiological reason to try to limit the length of a nap. When one is sleep deprived, any sleep is good.

It started for me when I found Hotwife porn on my hubby’s computer. I was shocked, offended. I thought he wanted to fuck other women. This was far from the truth. It took some time to realize he wanted to share me. It turned him on and he did not know how to tell me. Would I think he wanted to cheat if I did it? Would I think he’s bi? These are fears he had and it took some time for me to realize it was all about him being turned on by me being naughty and in control. It was all about me and him finding me attractive. Me being naughty makes him want me more. It’s brought us so much closer.

Most marriages get very boring in the bedroom. Hotwifing spices it up 100x. It’s important to focus on the physical aspect of sex with your dates and the emotional connection with sex with your hubby. The extra sex with other men isn’t the main focus, ITS THE RECLAIMING SEX WITH YOUR HUBBY. You just enjoyed a great, liberating experience and hubby gets you in the end every time. You’re going to be having a lot more sex and you will find yourself saying “can you do what X did to me?”.

Some of my list below ventures more on your hubby being more submissive. Others less so. If your hubby does not want to do the extra submissive ones, that’s ok. You might not either. It’s important to be respectful to hubby. Your date should always be respectful if your hubby is there for the encounter. He should never ridicule your hubby. That will ruin the experience. Depending on your relationship, you may say more submissive things like “what do you want him to do to me” or “is this what you wanted to see?”, or more dominant things like “watch how good he fucks me”, or engaging in more dominant activities that you will find below. Many couples are afraid to try the light dominant acts, but you might be surprised how much you’re both into it once you do.

Here are some tips, challenges, and dares!

Starting out:

1. Point out men you’d like to fuck. Tease the idea.

2. Tell your husband you know men who want to fuck you.

3. Flirt with men, even in front of your husband. Make it obvious you’re flirting. Even say something like “you and I should get together for drinks sometime. This is my hubby but he’s working tomorrow. How about we get together then?”

4. Tell men you’re married and need extra cock. A lot of men will fuck you harder knowing you’re married.

5. Talk about your exes. Especially sex with them.

6. Tell your husband you want to fuck other men during sex.

7. Tell your husband you won’t fuck him again until you fuck someone else.

8. During sex, make him admit you deserve more cock. Not just from him, but you deserve to be well fucked by other men, often.

9. Tell your husband of fun you’ve had with men while in bed. Be honest and tell him of occasions you’ve never told him. He WILL be turned on. I told mine of some past infidelity from years back and he was turned on.

10. Tell your husband you want to fuck your ex (and do it)

11. Tell your husband you want to feel another man fill your pussy with cum.

12. During foreplay, tell your husband you want to leave to go fuck someone you know. Have your husband take a pic of you to send to him right then.

13. Go to a hotel bar with your husband and flirt with guys. Try to get invited to his room.

14. Dance with guys and grind on them in front of your husband.

15. Have your husband tell a guy you’ve been flirting with that he wants him to fuck you.

16. Have drinks with your husband and a guy you want to fuck and tell the guy how you want to be fucked. Touch him, get close to him, guide his hands.

17. Get a guy’s number that you met with your hubby and secretly sext him in front of your hubby. Pro tip: Use the message app Kik.

18. Go on a girls night out and go home with a guy. Best if you have single friends. Make sure to dress slutty and have your husband watch you get ready. He’s hoping it turns into a late night.

19. Carry condoms in your purse and make sure your husband knows.

20. Sext other men and show your husband.

21. Have your husband take pics of you in your underwear for you to send to men.

22. Make a dating profile (Ashley Madison, Tinder, etc). This is a must do. Show hubby the guys you want to fuck.

23. Have your husband pay for lingerie your lover will enjoy. Say things like “Do you think he’d like to fuck me in this?”

24. Have your husband help you get ready for a solo date. Make sure to trim very well. Very little or no hair. Clean yet sooooo dirty :p

25. Go out and send updates and pics. Start clothed at a bar or restaurant with his hand on your hips or butt. Your hand on his crotch, etc. First kiss.

26. Go to his place and have your date send a pic of you bent over in your underwear. If it’s new underwear say something like “recognize the new panties you bought me? I found someone who will be the first to make them wet”

27. Send pics of his hand on your panties, rubbing your crotch. Suggestive pics. Don’t go full nude. Tease him.

28. Send pics of his face in your pussy.

28. Send a selfie with his dick in your mouth (very hot)

29. The pics stop as your hubby knows you are getting fucked.

30. Alternative: Live video or speakerphone your husband while you get fucked. Moan loud and beg for cock. Make sure to audibly tell your lover you are married and need to be fucked harder than your husband fucks you.

31. If you choose to send pics of the action, use low light. Tease him with it.

32. If no condom, scream for him to cum in your pussy.

33. If using a condom, use a new one each time you fuck and bring them all home to show your husband.

34. Tell your lover to make your panties soaking wet so you can show your husband.

35. Play with the idea of having your hubby eat your pussy after your date or kiss you after a blowjob. You might not think it, but when in the act both tend to find it very hot.

36. BONUS: Let your lover cum in your pussy and put your panties on immediately. Go home, lay on the bed, and spread your legs showing your husband your cum soaked panties.

37. Tell your husband every detail. You decide if your husband deserves a blow job, hand job, let him fuck you, or make him jerk off.

38. Make your husband use a condom to fuck you. Or don’t. Make him be your sloppy seconds.

39. MAKE HIM WATCH: It’s not going to be easy to find a guy who is okay with hubby watching. This is often best done if it’s someone you have been fucking so you and your lover are both comfortable. The three hottest moments of the first encounter hubby sees is watch your date slowly undress you, watching his cock enter you for the first time, and cum dripping out of you.

40. Introduce your lover: “Hubby, this is Mark. He knows how to fuck me and he’s going to show you how I like it.” Or “what do you want him to do to me?”

41. Have him sit outside the bedroom door and listen “Sorry, you can’t watch but we’ll let you listen”. Then make it loud!

42. Have hubby hold you while you get fucked.

43. Have your husband pull aside your panties while your lover eats your pussy.

44. Have your husband take off your panties for your lover.

45. Alternative: Make sure your panties are wet and put them on your husband’s head.

46. Or fuck with your panties on so they are wet and cum soaked. Visually, women look hot fucking with the panties pulled aside. Plus, you’ll get more cum in them for later tips.

47. Ride your lover’s cock so your hubby can see from behind. Great in video too.

48. Tell your husband he can’t touch himself. BONUS: strap him to a chair.

49. Look in your husband’s eyes as you’re fucked from behind.

50. Moan loud. Tell him how good you’re being fucked.

51. Wear your wedding ring and have your lover cum on it.

52. BONUS: Have your lover do something to you that your husband doesn’t: “Fuck my ass”, etc.

53. Have your hubby rent a hotel room and send him out for drinks when you have a “guest”. He’ll come back to you getting fucked.

***Other adventures:

54. Fuck several men. Make some more frequent but keep options. Fuck other men AT LEAST once a week. Your hubby will want to fuck you immediately, so be prepared for lots of sex.

55. Have your husband drive you to your lovers house.

56. Fuck your lover all night and call your husband to pick you up in the morning only to fuck your lover once more while he waits.

57. Kiss your lover as you leave and tell him you can’t wait to fuck again.

58. Tell your husband to thank your lover for fucking you.

59. Have your husband wait outside your lovers house while you fuck.

60. Tell your hubby to undress you for your lover.

61. Fuck your lover at home and leave your panties, a condom, or other memento on his side of the bed.

62. Fuck your lover on your wedding anniversary. Bonus if you’re wearing bridal lingerie. I planned this for a weekend getaway. My husband watched as I wore white panties that said “bride” on the back and white leggings for three rounds of fucking in our hotel room.

62. Fuck your lover on your husband’s side of the bed while he’s at work. Send pics and video.

63. Suck your lover’s cock and send a pic of the cum in your mouth to your husband.

64. Have your husband rent a room for you and your lover for the weekend. Count the number of times you cum and tell hubby. Must send pics!

65. Tell your husband he can’t fuck you until you’ve fucked X number of guys or X number of times.

66. Let your lover do things to you that you don’t do with your husband (cum in your ass, threesome with two guys). All the reason for private sessions without hubby.

67. Speaking of 3somes. Try two guys at once.

68. Wear panties with slutty messages (Return to Husband Full, Make a Mess My Hubby Will Clean It Up, Fuck Me Harder Than My Husband). Show this to men you’re flirting with in front of your hubby: Unzip and show message “what do you think of these?” I have some that say “my hubby won’t mind” at the top of the butt that I let guys see when in bars or a dance club.

***ADVANCED:

69. BIG BONUS AND VERY HOT. HE DOESN’T KNOW IT YET BUT THIS IS A BIG TURNON: When you come home with your panties full of cum, take them off, put on something sexy, and put the creamy panties on his head so your lover’s cum drips on him. Just do it. Nothing tells him you got well fucked like cum in your panties. VERY HOT.

70. Or…lay him on the ground while wearing the panties and rub your crotch on his face. Very very hot. He might just eat your pussy. I’m getting wet thinking about it.

71. Or…if using condoms, empty them in your panties and put them on his head.

72. When doing this, rub his cock and tell him how good you got fucked and tell him he needs to see and feel how good the cum was that was inside you. Tell him to feel your well used pussy.

73. When fucking in front of your hubby, make him wear your panties.

74. Blow your lover and swallow, but leave some on your lips. Tongue kiss your hubby.

***If your hubby REALLY deserves to be teased. You are in control and he WILL do what you say.

74. If your husband is watching, tell your lover to make a mess of your pussy because your husband will clean it up. Then sit on him when you’re done and let it leak all over him. His legs, chest, even his face.

75. BONUS: make him eat your pussy whether or not you used condoms. If you came home from a date, tell hubby to pull your panties aside and eat your pussy, especially if he cheated with X. Tell him how good you got fucked. Just tell him to do it and he will do it. YOU MAKE THE RULES.

76. Make a list of consequences. Checked a girl out: You get a Tinder date. Watched porn: you’re free to be a porn star with another man for the day. Flirted with a girl: You fuck five guys. One nighters, all weekend, your ex, someone you both know. Anyone you want and you make the rules. Even if he has to fly you somewhere to fuck someone all week. Updates and pics are required.

77. Spanking.

***Clearly there a humiliation factor that you both will get off to. Men knowing they are fucking his wife, you fucking men you both know. Maybe a friend knowing. Spanking (naughty boys deserve it). Your lover’s cum on hubby. Your lovers being told to show hubby how you like it. Have fun with this. It will make the experience stronger.

78. The hotwife 69. Get in the 69 position with your hubby but have your lover fuck you so your hubby has a great view just inches from your pussy.

79. ADVANCED: Strap-on play.

80. Wear a Hotwife anklet. Guaranteed to get attention of men in the know.

81. Have a friend spank your hubby. I have a friend who is a bit kinky and knows about our lifestyle. She felt my hubby needed punishment for flirting with a mutual friend years ago. I brought a guy home on girls night and she spanked my hubby, with my lovers belt, as I was getting fucked by my lover. I came out with the belt and handed it to her. After a while I came out with my soaking wet panties for him to wear and she sparked him. Of course you need a friend you can trust for this one.

I thought I would update the list of BDSM links and resources I posted a while ago, as some links were no longer working and I had several new ones to add, including a list of books. These should be particularly helpful to those who are new to BDSM and looking to explore D/s relationships, as the best way to go about that is to first read everything you can and then read even more! Not only will this allow you to educate yourself, help keep you safe and avoid any potential mistakes or regrets, but also the more you understand something, the less intimidating it will seem.

If you have anything to add, please don’t hesitate to let me know and I will update this list, in particular if there any books that a submissive might find helpful or informative, as most of the books I have read or included are intended for Dominants.

Note: For the sake of consistency and readability, I have used capitals throughout this document and have not used lower case when referring to submissives or slaves.

Websites:

Babygirls ‘n’ Daddy Doms: Website dedicated to littles, babygirls and Daddy Doms, with a lot of useful information on the subject.

Collarme: A free BDSM dating website and community, that is probably the most popular and a better option than the commercial alternatives.

DS Arts: Academy of DS Arts, fairly self explanatory.

Evil Monk: Ambrosio’s BDSM Website, featuring many useful articles.

Fetlife: An online BDSM community that I would highly recommend and which is perhaps best described as Facebook for the kinky, allowing users to create a profile, publish photos or writing and join interest groups where you can ask questions.

Kink Academy: An online resource with many educational and instructional videos on various aspects of BDSM, although users must pay a small fee to access all of the content.

Submissive Guide: As the name suggests, this is an online resource for submissives.

The Iron Gate: A general BDSM online resource, with many aticles, essays and even stories on the subject.

Dating and Relationships:

10 Principles For Healthy 24/7 D/s And M/s (Source: sexgeek.wordpress.com)

Difference of Dynamics in BDSM (Source: the-little-kitten.tumblr.com)

Finding Your Dominant (Source: asubmissivesjourney.com)

How To Find A Partner (Source: Jack Rinella / leathernews.com)

Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 1 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 2 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 3 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

So You Want Your Boyfriend To Dominate You (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)

So Your Girlfriend Wants You To Dominate Her (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)

The Unfortunate But Common Misconceptions About DD/lg Relationships (Source: a-lolitas-life.tumblr.com)

Play:

Consent Is Mandatory And Non-Negotiable (Source: fortheloveofasub.tumblr.com)

Food Play (Source: bdsmsadomasochism.tumblr.com)

How (and Why) To Go Down On Your Submissive (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)

Initial Steps Into Orgasm on Command Training (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Rules and Tasks for Building Confidence (Source: themostdangerousplaything.tumblr.com)

Tools of Consent in BDSM (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Training in D/s - Why? (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)

Training in D/s - How? (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)

Training in D/s - Thoughts And Concerns (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)

Wax Play (Source: bdsmsadomasochism.tumblr.com)

Safety:

Basics Of Safe, Sane And Consensual Power Exchange (Source: Molly Devon / the-iron-gate.com)

Common Sense (Source: Sean R. Powell / the-iron-gate.com)

Emotional Safety (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Offline/Online BDSM Safety Rules (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Ouch Is Not A Safe Word: Safe Words, Limits, and Scene Protocol (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Rules For Meeting Strangers (Source: Jack Rinella / leathernews.com)

Safewords and Safesigns 101 (Source: kinkology.tumblr.com)

S.S.C. VS R.A.C.K. (Source: Justin Medlin / the-iron-gate.com)

Checklists, Communication and Negotiation:

BDSM Play Partner Check List (Source: Sovereign House / the-iron-gate.com)

BDSM Scene Negotiations (Source: daddyvinnie.tumblr.com)

Can I Get That In Writing: Basics of Negotiations (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Communication (Source: submissivesupportgroup.tumblr.com)

If I Ever See Another Checklist I Will Scream: An Extremely Thorough Play Checklist (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Negotiation Forms (Source: Jay Wiseman, SM 101: A Realistic Introduction / greenerypress.com)

What Are Negotiations Good For? (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Sub Drop and Aftercare:

Aftercare for submissives (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Aftercare for Dominants (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Aftercare for Switches (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Emergency Self-Administered Aftercare (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Sub Drop (Source: David Williams / subshelpingsubs.tripod.com)

Sub Drop and Aftercare (Source: desires-of-a-domimant-man.tumblr.com)

Dominance and Dominants:

7 Fundamental Characteristics of A Daddy Dominant (Source: sunnymegatron.com)

A Dominant is NOT… (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Advice to a Novice Dom (Source: Washington Sexuality University / the-iron-gate.com)

Advice to a Novice Dominant (Source: hisdarlinggirl.tumblr.com)

An Open Letter To A Novice Dom (Source: evilmonk.org)

Qualities of A Successful Dominant (Source: Polly Peachum / the-iron-gate.com)

Daddy Doms: They’re Not What You Think (Source: edenfantasys.com)

Domination for Nice Guys (Source: Franklin Veaux / the-iron-gate.com)

How To Spot A Non Dominant (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Learning To Be A Dom (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 1 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 2 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts - Part One: Dominants (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

The Dominant (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

What Is A Daddy Dom? (Source: babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com)

What Makes A Good Dominant (Source: Kim Debron / kimdebron.tripod.com)

What Should A Dominant Be (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Submission and Submissives:

10 Considerations For Inexperienced Subs (Source: fortheloveofasub.tumblr.com)

A Submissive Bill of Rights (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

A Submissive’s Creed (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

A Submissive’s Ethics (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Introduction To Submission (Source: Kim Debron / kimdebron.tripod.com)

Learning to Trust Your Instincts (Source: bewildbetruebekinkybeyou.tumblr.com)

Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts- Part 2: Submissives/Slaves (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Some Rules For The Submissive (Source: daddylookingforhisbaby.tumblr.com)

Submissive Owner’s Manual (Source: youmadememe.tumblr.com)

Ten Tips For The Novice, Heterosexual submissive Woman (Source: Jay Wiseman / the-iron-gate.com)

Warning Signs for Submissives (Source: RC Bauer / the-iron-gate.com)

What Is A Babygirl? (Source: babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com)

Books:

BDSM: The Naked Truth by Dr Charley Ferrer

Dear Raven and Joshua: Questions and Answers About Master/Slave Relationships by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera

Devil in the Details I: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - The Master, The Slave, The Power by LT Morrison

Devil in the Details II: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - Mastery Refine: The Issues, The Skills by LT Morrison

Devil in the Details III: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - Sustainable Structure and Traning by LT Morrison

Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by William Brame, Gloria Brame and Jon Jacobs

Living M/s: A Book for Masters, slaves and Their Relationships by Dan and Dawn Williams

Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice by Robert Rubel

Master/slave Relations: Communications 401 by Robert Rubel

Master/slave Relations: Solutions 402, Living in Harmony by Robert Rubel

Protocols: A Variety of Views by Robert Rubel

Real Service by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Phillp Miller and Molly Devon

SM101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman

The Control Book by Peter Masters

The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren

The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.

The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.

The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino

This Curious Human Phenomenon: An Exploration of Some Uncommonly Explored Aspects of BDSM by Peter Masters

All you faithful readers know I’m a big fan of knocking on a girl’s back door.   It feels great.   It’s naughty.   What’s not to like about it?

Nothing… for the guy.

For the girl, anal can often be traumatic.   I’ve posted a bunch of times on how to prepare for anal sex.   You can type “anal” in my search bar and get a ton of info.  But let me highlight some things:

Anal sex requires preparation to keep it from being messy.

Anal sex requires relaxation and trust.  If the girl isn’t relaxed… if she tenses up… that’s when it hurts.

Anal sex requires a lot of lube.   LOTS of lube.

Anal sex requires you to begin small.   A finger in the ass.  Then two fingers.  Then your cock.

Anal sex requires you to start slow.   Slide it in and pump with short, slow strokes.

Anal sex requires foreplay.  Because again, a woman needs to be really relaxed and into it before her ass will open.   

What I haven’t written about in much detail is good positions for anal.  I’ve said, “If it hurts, try the woman on top.”  But beyond that, nothing much.  That changes with this post.  

I want to share with you ten positions that can be great for anal.  They’re great for a variety of reasons: intimacy, pleasure for him, pleasure for her, comfort, etc.   I’ll spell out the benefits of each one.  They are listed in no particular order.  But if you read the articles about preparing for anal that I have written and then learn these ten positions, I guarantee you that you can comfortably (and erotically!) add this very enjoyable aspect to your sex life.  

______________________________

THE REVERSE COWGIRL RUMP RIDER

He lies on his back, legs together.  She straddles him, facing away and bounces with his dong-a-long in her bonk-a-donk.

This position is great for her, not only because it lets her control how deep and fast her ass is being fucked, but also because it provides a great angle.  He’s going straight in, with a slight upward press.  Should be comfortable.

It’s a great position for him because of the view - her bulbous back pillows being split by his love meat.   

______________________________

THE SPHINCTER SPOON

The key to this spooning technique is that the girl pulls her legs up close to her chest, maybe using her arms behind her knees to hold them.  When the legs are pulled up like that, the external spincter muscle (i.e. the asshole) loosens some.   

When the guy slides in, he goes as deep as possible.  But motion is limited.  

This position is all about intimacy.   There is a ton of body contact.  He can whisper in her ear or kiss her neck.   Guys, you also can play with her nipples or even reach between her legs and rub gently.  

This is a great starter position for the first anal of the night, precisely because there isn’t much motion.   It lets her slowly relax her booty.

______________________________

THE SUPER SODOMY SIDE SLIDE

In this position, the girl lies facedown, then pulls one leg up some.  So her one leg is straight down.  With her other leg, she’s pulled her knee up close to even with her waist.  This tilts her slightly onto her side.  The guy then straddles the one leg that is straight down.  He spreads her cheeks, and slides in.   

What makes this position great for her is how relaxing it is.   He can rub her back while he’s fucking her ass.  It also doesn’t allow for very deep penetration.   

For him there are two pleasures.  First, as he pumps, his scrotum is going to be rubbing against the smooth skin on the back of her leg.  It feels amazing.  Secondly, each time he thrusts in, her one butt cheek - the one of the leg that is straight out - is going to hit him right in what is sometimes called the “inguinal canal” area, where the guy’s leg meets his torso.  The firm but soft tush pressing in there… fuck!  Feel so good!

Guys, an added little treat for her…  She she first gets in this position, get down there, slide a finger in her vajayjay, palm facing down, curling the finger slightly.  That will place your fingertip on her g-spot.  While you work the finger in and out, let your tongue press on her asshole, just causing it to spread a little.  She’ll love it.   

______________________________

THE DALLYING IN HER DERRIERE

This is a lovely, slow, lazy way to pump her rump.   You are on her side.   She is on her back, with her legs hitched over you.  She can keep them together or spread them apart, depending on what she finds more comfortable.   

This is also a very intimate position, as it allows you to see each other’s faces.   Motion is limited, as her legs hooked over him prevent him from pumping too hard.   He can play with her chest or her clit.  She can reach down and rub his balls while he fucks her.    

____________________________

THE ASS-N-CLITTY

Another variation of women-on top.  The girl straddles the guy, cowgirl style, facing him, her knees wide apart.   She puts his hotdog in her buns, then leans back, using her hands for support.   And she bounces and bounces and bounces.  

The plus for her is that she gets to control tempo and depth.   And again, it’s a great angle - straight up her dark tunnel.  

In addition, in that position her guy has clear access to her clitty-cat.   He can pet it.  Guys, in this position, I recommend using your thumb.  Lick it so it’s slick.  Then press it down on top of her clit and roll it, like a pea bring rolled under your finger.

Or you can take a finger and curl it in, making a “come here” motion.  That puts your finger on her g-spot.  Again, roll it around like a pea under your fingertip.     

For guys, not only do you have an amazing view, but it actually is a very tight fit.  With her knees apart like that, her glute muscles get pushed together.  Thus, your shaft is cradled in soft butt cheek.  Feels amazing.

True story.   I have had a girlfriend squirt all over my abs in this position while I was in her ass.  

____________________________

THE CATHOLIC BIRTH CONTROL

You wouldn’t think missionary position would be great for anal, but it really, really is.   However, you probably need to have her hips tilted up.   You can do this simply by placing a few pillows under her hips.   

This is another position aimed at intimacy.  The couple can kiss and caress even as he’s tapping her tushie.   

This position also allows for only shallow penetration, thus it’s great for a girl who, try as she might, believes she can only take the tip.  It’s also great for a guy who is well endowed, as maybe only the first two or three inches will get in.

Guys, be careful in this position.   It’s easy to slip out.  And what can really hurt a girl is when you slip out and then don’t aim carefully when you slide back in.  It forces her anus to stretch in funny ways!   No bueno.   

____________________________

THE HERO, POOTER-POUNDER STYLE

In the kamasutra, “the Hero” position is woman on her back, with her legs pulled up to the degree that her pelvis tilts up.   This can be done a variety of ways.  She can grab under he knees and pull them back.  He can grab her ankles and push them back.   The point is, her legs are in the air, spread apart, and her hips are tilted up.  This gives him a straight shot to her pooter-palace!

After six positions which were more gentle, we now get to the ones which will be a bit harder.   Thus, it requires a bit more experience.  These are anal positions you might try after you have being doing one of the first six for awhile.  So your rump is all relaxed and ready for a good ramming.  ;) 

For the girls, the fun part of this position is that as well as any of them, you have access to your sugared almond.   While your man drills your dumper, rub that thing like you are a DJ and it’s god-damned New Years Eve.  You might cum.  

Guys, you need to understand that with her hips tilted and legs spread, you could go really, really deep.  That’s great, if she says it’s great.  If not, then this is a position where you have to exercise self control and only use the first four inches or so.    

__________________________________

THE DOGGY IN THE DONK

I don’t want to exaggerate here, so I’ll say it carefully.  This is the biggest fantasy of every man on earth.    There is nothing like getting a hot girl face down, ass up, and smashing her onion.   

What does this give to the guys?   The best site on earth.  When you can see your cock sliding in and out, wedged between those breathtaking cheeks… when that booty meet shakes with each thrust, a slight ripple working through each one… wow.  I have a tear in my eye just thinking about it.   

In addition to the view, if the girl has warmed up to anal and can handle it, this is the position in which the guy can go his hardest.  The angle of his cock in her ass, especially if she puts her chest down on the bed, is such that it is a very, very smooth fit.   Her rectum is in its natural position.   So he can grab her hips and pound away.

For the girl, doggystyle anal can be either heaven or purgatory.   He’s going to be deep in your ass.   But in this position, he stimulates some of the nerves that are actually located in the vaginal wall.    If a girl is going to cum during anal, this position will probably be it.  While the guy is reaming her from behind, she’ll reach down and play with her clit.   If she can cum this way, it will be so intense her back might break.   

__________________________________

THE BEST LAP DANCE EVER

This is yet another woman on top position.   The man sits in a chair.  Guys, use a kitchen chair, not a big ass recliner.  It gives you more range of motion.   The woman come and sits on his lap, with his man-meat in her moneymaker.  

There are two variations to this. The woman can put her legs between his legs.  If she does this, she can put her hands on his knees and bounce.  Or the woman can put her legs outside his.   Unless she has really long legs, she might not be able to bounce as well.  But she can grind and rock.    It’s a amazing sensation when you grind in that position, ladies!  It’s like you are trying to break our cock off inside your can.   

Guys, if she goes with her legs outside yours, why not reach around  and flick her on-off switch lightly.   It’s ether that your you make it rain!  

_________________________________

THE 3AM AT DANIEL’S HOUSE

This is a variation on doggystyle - doing it while standing, with the woman bent over something.  It’s one of my favorites, hence the name.  (Back off!  When you get your own blog, you can name sex positions after yourself too!)

It’s a really comfortable position for the woman.   She’s braced on a chair or couch.  She might even be able to rest on it.   A variation is if she picks up one leg and rests her knee on the object.  A good example of that is a bathroom counter.  She leans over it and puts one knee up on it while I explore her third-entry.   

It’s great for the guy for the same reason doggystyle is.  It’s a nice view.  He can grab the hips and go hard.   Because it’s a comfortable position, it’s also great for prolonged anal.   There’s no need to pound out your nut in 30 seconds.  Get her in this position and spend a good 20 minutes working her bubble over.   

This position can also be very pleasurable for the woman too.  There is a muscle cluster that starts in your lower back, runs through the glutes, and down the back of the legs to the heel.  That’s why if you walk funny in a bad shoe, it can hurt your back.  It’s the longest muscle cluster in the human body.  When a girl is bent over like this, that muscle cluster is tight.   And so as she tenses her anus slightly (which is natural to do as your ass is being fucked), she’ll feel that through her entire lower body.   And guys, if you can reach around and play with her clit and make her cum in this position, she can collapse.  The shudder it sends through her legs literally floors her.  

_______________________________________

And there you have it, faithful readers.   Is this every anal position I know.  Please!  I’m Daniel Fucking Davis.   This is the tip of the iceberg.   But hopefully if you like these, you can put your own spins and variances on them, and have plenty of variety to your hot, hot booty sex!

Now, if you like this, please reblog!   Cause let’s face it.  This is good advice.  

—- work in progress —-

—- last update 08/5/16 —-

if there’s a page or site you think should be on this list please drop me a message

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The following is a list of things that you should be doing. Not everything will apply in every case, and there may be things not on the list that work for you.

1. You must absolutely take total control of his orgasms!

You must get him to wear a chastity device of some kind.

You should put it on him yourself and only you should hold the key.

Let him out at your discretion only and only for teasing or release.

2. Control your own feelings of guilt.

He should never be permitted to have any kind of orgasm without your permission.

If you feel he deserves an orgasm… Ruin it!

Remember, you can ruin several orgasms a day, but he can only have one full one.

Full orgasms should be for very special occasions (no more than 3 or 4 per year).

3. You must get into his head!

Learn his fantasies and what turns him on.

Tease him with your words whenever possible.

Find out what humiliates him.

Use his humiliation whenever possible.

4. You must keep him sexually aroused as much as possible.

Talk sexy to him.

Tell him you are going to make him do something humiliating.

Fondle him, or let him fondle you.

Send him text messages with orders to do something sexual.

Make him give you orgasms frequently.

5. Make him do something humiliating.

Make him wear a butt-plug for a time.

Make him be naked when you are not.

Make him masturbate for you.

Always, ALWAYS make him eat his own cum no matter where it is deposited.

6. Punish him whenever he displeases you.

Don’t let him get away with anything!

Spank, paddle, or whip him.

Humiliate him in some way.

Put Bengay or Icy-Hot on his cock, balls, or anus.

Make him do anything he hates.

7. No matter what you are doing, or where you are, find ways to tease him.

Fondle him through his pants in public (or in private).

Whisper sexy or humiliating things in his ear.

What is hotwifing and how can hotwifing save marriages? Contrary to pornography lore, hotwifing, hot wife or hotwife is not a physical description, it is a powerful emotionally supportive state of marriage. Any woman can be a hotwife regardless of their physical attributes. To define, a hotwife is a married woman in a strong committed marriage who makes herself sexually available to other men for hotwife dates either with or without her husband present. She does this with her husband’s full knowledge and consent. In hotwifing the husband yields the traditional role of sexual dominance to his wife. The husband always remains willingly and faithfully monogamous to his hotwife which is referred to as a stag husband. All of his sexual desires are focused on his wife having sex with other men and all of his pleasures are derived in the intimacy his hotwife provides him. Hotwives may wear very sexy clothing, usually purchased for them by their stag husbands and flirt outrageously with other men in order to achieve the hotwife date. Hotwives may openly display hotwife jewelry that lets men know they are married and available. She may desire her husbands help in arranging her dates. In any case the husband cedes the decision as to whom his hotwife has sex with. Hotwifing is not about humiliation or denigration, it is rather a form of loving emotional control both psychologically and physically. The hotwife always balances her husbands physical needs and wants and her psychological control of him in her role as the hotwife. A stag husband may desire to watch, participate or happily await the return of his hotwife from her date so that she can share all the details of it with him. The stag husband is given secondary, but equal, sexual importance. The hotwife builds and caresses his ego through her dominance and she never forgets to give her husband sexual satisfaction. So how can all of that save your marriage?

For couples that have experienced infidelity like we did, hotwifing allows them to renew their vows of commitment to each other and start their marriage from a new point together rather than apart. Most importantly it leaves the past in the past because in the new vows the couple commits to focusing exclusively on the future and each other.

Hotwifing gives women the ability to fulfill their wildest sexual fantasies with the encouragement of their husbands. Research has shown that many couples have hotwifing fantasies, but most of them are unable to express themselves because they fear what their partner might think of them. This single misunderstanding of sexual desire is one of the leading causes of the high divorce rate. For a woman one of the many potential benefits of hotwifing in a marriage is the open and uninhibited fulfillment all her sexual desires within the realm of real and honest marital commitment from her husband. It is really simple, stag husbands won’t cheat because they have no need or desire to. For men it boosts their understanding of female sexuality and it frees them of jealousy, which is the number one poison to relationships. Imagine a life free of jealousy and you will find true happiness and peaceful harmony in balance with unlimited love for one another.

Hotwifing empowers wives with freedom. The wife gets the freedom to enjoy the full experiences of sex. Women often desire and routinely fantasize about having sex with men other than their husbands. In the old taboo society they rarely got that chance because of deep seeded jealousy. When a man freely encourages his wife to enjoy the sexual pleasures of other men, he is undeniably giving her his heart and soul. He is directly displaying trust in their marriage. The husband enjoys the ability to control his normal feelings of jealousy so his wife can experience a new kind of intimacy free of guilt. This can be of great spiritual and emotional comfort to both the husband and wife.

Hotwifing frees wives from the jealousy of their husbands. It is a proven fact that jealousy is one of the major reasons many relationships fail. Insecurity is a leading contributing factor in disagreements and breakups that result in divorce. Hotwifing can help to rid the man of his feelings of jealousy, and when he gives his wife the freedom to be who she wants to be, she knows her husband has her best interests at heart, which helps her to increase her trust in him. Hotwifing creates trust and communication within relationships. Solid relationships are built upon trust and open communication. If you want to be in a happy, lasting relationship, you must ensure that you understand each other and also give each other the chance and freedom to be yourselves. These kinds of open and honest conversations increase trust and communication between the couple and bring them closer together. 

Hotwifing makes wives feel beautiful and desired. As a man, you will feel that you actually have the hottest woman on earth, and it’s every man’s desire to have a woman who is another man’s dream. Hotwifing gives men the perfect chance to appreciate how beautiful and desirable his woman is, which typically serves to increase both his love and respect for her. Ultimately hotwifing can help a mans libido. In some instances it has been known to assist a husband to overcome some forms of E.D.

Hotwifing boosts marital confidence. It gives women a real chance to express themselves to their husbands. When a woman knows that she has the support of her husband to do whatever she desires, she feels incredibly self confident about herself, which helps to change her perception of the traditional societal roles of husbands and wives

Hotwifing increases intimacy by giving both the husband and wife the perfect chance to gain important knowledge about themselves and each other that can help increase the intimacy of their connection. The new adventures and the wide variety of options dramatically deepen a couple’s marital bond making it strong, confident and trustworthy.

Hotwifing provides a greater sense of sexual confidence and satisfaction for both husband and wife. Hotwifing actually saves marriages. Yes you heard that right, it can save a marriage. I can tell you without hesitation that it saved mine even if it took my husband nearly 20 years to realize it. Hotwifing creates a perfect platform for couples to attain both mental and physical satisfaction. The wife is able to have sex with men she desires, which quenches her thirst that in a traditional monogamous marriages might otherwise lead her to affairs and betrayals.

Even after feeling the sting of betrayal couples can use hotwifing to regain trust, because hotwifing requires 100 percent honesty from both husband and wife. Honesty is the one element of hotwing that is non negotiable. Gone are the days of living secret lies and affairs. Women have said that while they knew their husband thought they were beautiful, being desired by other men was even more validating to them. “Your husband is supposed to think you’re beautiful.” When wives feel they are no longer perceived as beautiful they can become depressed and cheat to make themselves feel wanted again. Couples that can together successfully negotiate the absolute intimacy and unique boundaries provided by hotwifing can easily save even the most troubled, stale and dissatisfied marriage. It gives couples a new freedom to describe to each other their most base, deepest secrets and sexual desires. Couples say that after the wife has sex with other men, their own sex lives were newly fueled, and the couple had sex the way they did when they first started dating.

Scientifically the fuel to this fire may be found in the neurochemistry and biology of sperm competition. Hotwifing couples essentially subvert mechanisms intended to prevent illicit pregnancies, co-opting our basic biological processes to serve a role in fanning the flames of the marriage long past the time they might have normally subsided into a relationship where sex is ok on occasion but primarily viewed as not necessary by one or both. Sex at 40, 50, 60, 70 and beyond can take on new exciting prospects that can be of well documented health benefits for the couple. Research has shown that older couples with a healthy and frequent sex life are often happier and tend to live longer more fulfilling lives. Overall the positive effects of hotwifing in marriage are far greater than many people could possibly imagine.

Hotwifing is no longer a dirty little “secret” confined to swingers clubs by adventurous 30 somethings. It is rapidly becoming a mainstream norm for mature couples to help rescue their failing marriages and keep them forever secure.

#IAMHOTWIFE

All you faithful readers know I’m a big fan of knocking on a girl’s back door.   It feels great.   It’s naughty.   What’s not to like about it?

Nothing… for the guy.

For the girl, anal can often be traumatic.   I’ve posted a bunch of times on how to prepare for anal sex.   You can type “anal” in my search bar and get a ton of info.  But let me highlight some things:

Anal sex requires preparation to keep it from being messy.

Anal sex requires relaxation and trust.  If the girl isn’t relaxed… if she tenses up… that’s when it hurts.

Anal sex requires a lot of lube.   LOTS of lube.

Anal sex requires you to begin small.   A finger in the ass.  Then two fingers.  Then your cock.

Anal sex requires you to start slow.   Slide it in and pump with short, slow strokes.

Anal sex requires foreplay.  Because again, a woman needs to be really relaxed and into it before her ass will open.   

What I haven’t written about in much detail is good positions for anal.  I’ve said, “If it hurts, try the woman on top.”  But beyond that, nothing much.  That changes with this post.  

I want to share with you ten positions that can be great for anal.  They’re great for a variety of reasons: intimacy, pleasure for him, pleasure for her, comfort, etc.   I’ll spell out the benefits of each one.  They are listed in no particular order.  But if you read the articles about preparing for anal that I have written and then learn these ten positions, I guarantee you that you can comfortably (and erotically!) add this very enjoyable aspect to your sex life.  

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THE REVERSE COWGIRL RUMP RIDER

He lies on his back, legs together.  She straddles him, facing away and bounces with his dong-a-long in her bonk-a-donk.

This position is great for her, not only because it lets her control how deep and fast her ass is being fucked, but also because it provides a great angle.  He’s going straight in, with a slight upward press.  Should be comfortable.

It’s a great position for him because of the view - her bulbous back pillows being split by his love meat.   

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THE SPHINCTER SPOON

The key to this spooning technique is that the girl pulls her legs up close to her chest, maybe using her arms behind her knees to hold them.  When the legs are pulled up like that, the external spincter muscle (i.e. the asshole) loosens some.   

When the guy slides in, he goes as deep as possible.  But motion is limited.  

This position is all about intimacy.   There is a ton of body contact.  He can whisper in her ear or kiss her neck.   Guys, you also can play with her nipples or even reach between her legs and rub gently.  

This is a great starter position for the first anal of the night, precisely because there isn’t much motion.   It lets her slowly relax her booty.

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THE SUPER SODOMY SIDE SLIDE

In this position, the girl lies facedown, then pulls one leg up some.  So her one leg is straight down.  With her other leg, she’s pulled her knee up close to even with her waist.  This tilts her slightly onto her side.  The guy then straddles the one leg that is straight down.  He spreads her cheeks, and slides in.   

What makes this position great for her is how relaxing it is.   He can rub her back while he’s fucking her ass.  It also doesn’t allow for very deep penetration.   

For him there are two pleasures.  First, as he pumps, his scrotum is going to be rubbing against the smooth skin on the back of her leg.  It feels amazing.  Secondly, each time he thrusts in, her one butt cheek - the one of the leg that is straight out - is going to hit him right in what is sometimes called the “inguinal canal” area, where the guy’s leg meets his torso.  The firm but soft tush pressing in there… fuck!  Feel so good!

Guys, an added little treat for her…  She she first gets in this position, get down there, slide a finger in her vajayjay, palm facing down, curling the finger slightly.  That will place your fingertip on her g-spot.  While you work the finger in and out, let your tongue press on her asshole, just causing it to spread a little.  She’ll love it.   

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THE DALLYING IN HER DERRIERE

This is a lovely, slow, lazy way to pump her rump.   You are on her side.   She is on her back, with her legs hitched over you.  She can keep them together or spread them apart, depending on what she finds more comfortable.   

This is also a very intimate position, as it allows you to see each other’s faces.   Motion is limited, as her legs hooked over him prevent him from pumping too hard.   He can play with her chest or her clit.  She can reach down and rub his balls while he fucks her.    

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THE ASS-N-CLITTY

Another variation of women-on top.  The girl straddles the guy, cowgirl style, facing him, her knees wide apart.   She puts his hotdog in her buns, then leans back, using her hands for support.   And she bounces and bounces and bounces.  

The plus for her is that she gets to control tempo and depth.   And again, it’s a great angle - straight up her dark tunnel.  

In addition, in that position her guy has clear access to her clitty-cat.   He can pet it.  Guys, in this position, I recommend using your thumb.  Lick it so it’s slick.  Then press it down on top of her clit and roll it, like a pea bring rolled under your finger.

Or you can take a finger and curl it in, making a “come here” motion.  That puts your finger on her g-spot.  Again, roll it around like a pea under your fingertip.     

For guys, not only do you have an amazing view, but it actually is a very tight fit.  With her knees apart like that, her glute muscles get pushed together.  Thus, your shaft is cradled in soft butt cheek.  Feels amazing.

True story.   I have had a girlfriend squirt all over my abs in this position while I was in her ass.  

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THE CATHOLIC BIRTH CONTROL

You wouldn’t think missionary position would be great for anal, but it really, really is.   However, you probably need to have her hips tilted up.   You can do this simply by placing a few pillows under her hips.   

This is another position aimed at intimacy.  The couple can kiss and caress even as he’s tapping her tushie.   

This position also allows for only shallow penetration, thus it’s great for a girl who, try as she might, believes she can only take the tip.  It’s also great for a guy who is well endowed, as maybe only the first two or three inches will get in.

Guys, be careful in this position.   It’s easy to slip out.  And what can really hurt a girl is when you slip out and then don’t aim carefully when you slide back in.  It forces her anus to stretch in funny ways!   No bueno.   

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THE HERO, POOTER-POUNDER STYLE

In the kamasutra, “the Hero” position is woman on her back, with her legs pulled up to the degree that her pelvis tilts up.   This can be done a variety of ways.  She can grab under he knees and pull them back.  He can grab her ankles and push them back.   The point is, her legs are in the air, spread apart, and her hips are tilted up.  This gives him a straight shot to her pooter-palace!

After six positions which were more gentle, we now get to the ones which will be a bit harder.   Thus, it requires a bit more experience.  These are anal positions you might try after you have being doing one of the first six for awhile.  So your rump is all relaxed and ready for a good ramming.  ;) 

For the girls, the fun part of this position is that as well as any of them, you have access to your sugared almond.   While your man drills your dumper, rub that thing like you are a DJ and it’s god-damned New Years Eve.  You might cum.  

Guys, you need to understand that with her hips tilted and legs spread, you could go really, really deep.  That’s great, if she says it’s great.  If not, then this is a position where you have to exercise self control and only use the first four inches or so.    

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THE DOGGY IN THE DONK

I don’t want to exaggerate here, so I’ll say it carefully.  This is the biggest fantasy of every man on earth.    There is nothing like getting a hot girl face down, ass up, and smashing her onion.   

What does this give to the guys?   The best site on earth.  When you can see your cock sliding in and out, wedged between those breathtaking cheeks… when that booty meet shakes with each thrust, a slight ripple working through each one… wow.  I have a tear in my eye just thinking about it.   

In addition to the view, if the girl has warmed up to anal and can handle it, this is the position in which the guy can go his hardest.  The angle of his cock in her ass, especially if she puts her chest down on the bed, is such that it is a very, very smooth fit.   Her rectum is in its natural position.   So he can grab her hips and pound away.

For the girl, doggystyle anal can be either heaven or purgatory.   He’s going to be deep in your ass.   But in this position, he stimulates some of the nerves that are actually located in the vaginal wall.    If a girl is going to cum during anal, this position will probably be it.  While the guy is reaming her from behind, she’ll reach down and play with her clit.   If she can cum this way, it will be so intense her back might break.   

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THE BEST LAP DANCE EVER

This is yet another woman on top position.   The man sits in a chair.  Guys, use a kitchen chair, not a big ass recliner.  It gives you more range of motion.   The woman come and sits on his lap, with his man-meat in her moneymaker.  

There are two variations to this. The woman can put her legs between his legs.  If she does this, she can put her hands on his knees and bounce.  Or the woman can put her legs outside his.   Unless she has really long legs, she might not be able to bounce as well.  But she can grind and rock.    It’s a amazing sensation when you grind in that position, ladies!  It’s like you are trying to break our cock off inside your can.   

Guys, if she goes with her legs outside yours, why not reach around  and flick her on-off switch lightly.   It’s ether that your you make it rain!  

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THE 3AM AT DANIEL’S HOUSE

This is a variation on doggystyle - doing it while standing, with the woman bent over something.  It’s one of my favorites, hence the name.  (Back off!  When you get your own blog, you can name sex positions after yourself too!)

It’s a really comfortable position for the woman.   She’s braced on a chair or couch.  She might even be able to rest on it.   A variation is if she picks up one leg and rests her knee on the object.  A good example of that is a bathroom counter.  She leans over it and puts one knee up on it while I explore her third-entry.   

It’s great for the guy for the same reason doggystyle is.  It’s a nice view.  He can grab the hips and go hard.   Because it’s a comfortable position, it’s also great for prolonged anal.   There’s no need to pound out your nut in 30 seconds.  Get her in this position and spend a good 20 minutes working her bubble over.   

This position can also be very pleasurable for the woman too.  There is a muscle cluster that starts in your lower back, runs through the glutes, and down the back of the legs to the heel.  That’s why if you walk funny in a bad shoe, it can hurt your back.  It’s the longest muscle cluster in the human body.  When a girl is bent over like this, that muscle cluster is tight.   And so as she tenses her anus slightly (which is natural to do as your ass is being fucked), she’ll feel that through her entire lower body.   And guys, if you can reach around and play with her clit and make her cum in this position, she can collapse.  The shudder it sends through her legs literally floors her.  

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And there you have it, faithful readers.   Is this every anal position I know.  Please!  I’m Daniel Fucking Davis.   This is the tip of the iceberg.   But hopefully if you like these, you can put your own spins and variances on them, and have plenty of variety to your hot, hot booty sex!

Now, if you like this, please reblog!   Cause let’s face it.  This is good advice.