Alrightie. Let’s start typing. Like the good old days.
Dear diary, it’s been a while again. I feel like I’ve written that sentence far too many times in the last 2-3 years. The reason? It’s because I was consistent with writing and creating and doodling and all those beautiful things in my younger years; up until university.
Soon as I started working, and letting life take its course, I gave up one of the most unnoticed de-stressors of mine, writing. Another underlying reason I may not want to admit is fear of imperfection. You see, English is not my first language, neither was I good at it during my school years. I hated composing essays of given topics I was not interested in yet little did I know, all of those were exercises to unleash or strengthen one’s ability to craft something out of indifference.
Alas, here I am today, sipping on a nice chai latte at 10pm in the world’s largest mall, alone and content, amazed not only by the size of this grand atrium and humans from all over the world, but also by this freedom and quiet power to choose my drink while comfortably typing on my laptop without having to worry about theft or calamities.
Not long ago, I was seated in this same café, a high school student, worrying about what will be like after graduation. Next thing I knew came university applications and before I could even savour hall lectures and research papers, came CVs and interviews. And just like that, I’m now a working adult, with a full-time job and full-time responsibility of making decisions from schedules to purchases. I’m no longer bound by what an institute requires of me rather, and unfortunately, bound by what I think others require of me. The pressures an adult faces no longer comes from school grades rather unclear societal expectations.
Thank God there is family. And though I must recognize that not all can agree with this statement, the circumstances I’m placed in prompts me to be grateful for my family’s unconditional love and unwavering support. My parents and brothers are still here with me in the same country, fully well, healthy and capable of working. And so it’s both empowering and humbling to witness all of this here and now.
Time flies, they say, and I can resonate with that. Nevertheless, I can also resonate with savouring every second like it’s the last. On the grand scheme of things, life’s been a finger snap. On the day-by-day, it feels like being stuck in rush hour traffic.
All in all, good is God all the time, and all the time, God is good.
May we always keep the faith. May we always find joy and hope. And may we always be secured in His Love.
At least for me, this has been the only way to be where I am now, at peace and with joy. Though I’m unhappy about abandoning my passion for writing, there’s always a place to start again. It’s February 1st and coincidentally, I felt the need to embark on this journey again. It’s freeing, satisfying and brings simply joys to the soul.
January was a good start to initiate plans like joining ballet class and signing up for Arabic tutors. Now is the month to put more effort into these areas and unlocking other avenues such as pursuing professional certifications and being financially literate.
Let’s go February!