"They're my family"

          In the end, Judai still doesn’t know anything about coffee or different flavors and textures, and simply picks the first thing he sees on the menu. A “FLAT WHITE,” which he hopes is better than the name, really. He supposes, though, that anything with a coffee flavor was going to taste horrible and his mission for now should just be to not spit it back out when he drank.

          “Do you really care about that?” he asks over his shoulder as he finds a table that’s private enough that they can actually talk. He knows there’s so much about everything that Johan probably wants to know ( and that probably didn’t coincide with what he was comfortable with to share ).

          Don’t they deserve this chance to clear the air, though? He couldn’t keep everything from Johan, let alone Yubel. Honestly, he can’t even remember exactly when Johan disappeared. Was that before or after their fusion? He might know, if it was after, but time was so distorted in his memory that he figures he’ll simply clarify if it comes up.

          “I’m not one for small talk, you know that.”

Quietly he followed to the other one to the table Judai had accept as good enough for them, while he just shrugged about the question he just got in return. 

“At least I didn’t expect to run in you at an area like this so.. maybe?” 

Did he really? Probably, but there were so many other things in his head he would like to ask. Probably needed to ask. But there was still this feeling that he didn’t even deserved most of those answers because of what he did all those years ago. One would eventually say that he didn’t do much beside leaving a place that only meant harm to him, but Johan knew better. Leaving might had been the only right thing for him to do, but still he left the other one behind. Something he never had wanted to even think about. It still happened. Maybe because there had been no other way. Maybe because he had been too afraid to search for another solution. 

In the end it brought them here and while Johan still wasn’t sure how much things had changed between them he probably couldn’t deny that statement. Seemed like at least some things hadn’t changed at all. 

“Yeah I know. I just.. I heard rumors about Academy. They’re true after all, are they?” 

Judai wanted to say it’s not okay, definitely not okay, because he hated this state of unbalance he was in, knowing all the things he’d done and feeling like there was a part of himself he couldn’t trust, moving three steps forwards and twenty back. It’s the reason he left. It’s the reason he hesitates every time he comes back around.

“This isn’t a simple mistake.” Judai mumbled, but it comes out weak, getting tired of arguing. Whatever he said Johan had something to counter it with, he would keep insisting. Johan wouldn’t give him what he wanted–anger, rejection–and Judai’s couldn’t say yet if this–forgiveness–was what he needed. Maybe it was, even if he couldn’t accept it quite yet.

He sighed, leaning properly in the hold the other had on him. His arms slipped around him tentatively, fingers curling over the back of his shirt, forehead slumping down against his shoulder. 

“And I’d probably do it again, if I had to.” He admitted quietly, because it’s true; there’s little Judai wouldn’t risk to keep Johan–all his friends really–safe. He huffed out a laugh, with a hint of dark humor to it. “Maybe with less casualties this time around.”

“I never said it was simple.” 

He couldn’t. Honestly. Because he still only knew the basics of what had happen in that time. He didn’t knew what exactly the mistakes Judai had made had been at all. So he was in no position to call them simple or big or anything like that. He just couldn’t. 

Having the other one leaning against him again did calm him down at least a bit. He still was somehow expecting that Judai would just run, but for now it seemed more unlikely than everything else. 

Still part of him wanted to make the other one promise not to risk his own life for him again. But he stayed quiet because honestly... he wouldn’t be able to keep that promise so he had no rights to expect it from his friend. 

“Let’s just hope we don’t end up in situations like that all too soon again, okay?” 

The color you fit most is Green!

Loyal, down to earth, and friendly, the green personality type lives a “live and let live” lifestyle. They are calming to be around and choose to listen and observe more than they speak. This type tends to be a shoulder to cry on in times of need, and they often take care of others before themselves.

When working, they see the big picture instead of little details. This makes them lose faith in their projects if they’re moving too slow or not achieving what they want, and they often jump from topic to topic without meaning to.

Green soulcolors are emotionally intelligent, and they pay attention to body language and verbal cues. If you’re lying, they’ll be the first to know. They are honest about themselves and their motives, being the most sincere color out there. However, they are less likely to give themselves credit and often brush off compliments.

This color is people oriented and loves to be friendly. They are also people pleasers and don’t like to stir up conflict, and they will often choose to go along with an idea they hate as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone. Since they are so loyal, they don’t tend to see the bad in those they care about, and it often gets them into trouble when dealing with toxic people.

FILL IN:

I like to be called: Lina

my favourite colour is: Red

gender: Female

one thing you should know about me: I have good days and bad days and if you try to interact with me on bad days you probably need a lot of patience because I tend to totally shut down at some point. 

one thing you should know about my muse: He’s thinking more about everyone else before thinking about himself and often tends to sacrifice himself for others.

first language: German

second language: English

HIGHLIGHT:

age range: under 13 | 14–17 | 18–22 | 23–25 | 26–29 | 30+ | 70+

am I okay with nsfw?: yes | no | sometimes

my favourite/most common thing to rp is: angst | fluff | smut | crack | action |other

oc friendly?: yes | no | depends

rp blog: does | doesn’t contain ooc posts

TAGGING:

Tagged by: @elementumhero

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true for your muse.

APPEARANCE:

I am 5'7" or taller

I wear glasses

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing

I have blonde hair  

I have brown(ish) eyes

I have short hair

My abs are at least somewhat defined

I have or have had braces

PERSONALITY:

I love meeting new people

People tell me that I’m funny

Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude with people I know well

I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it

There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY:

I can sing well

I can play an instrument 

I can do over 30 pushups without stopping

I’m a fast runner

I can draw well

I have a good memory

I’m good at doing math in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute

I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch

I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports

I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else

I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else

I have learned a new song in the past week

I work out at least once a week

I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months

I have drawn something in the past month

I enjoy writing

I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss

I have had alcohol

I have scored the winning goal in a sports game

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting

I have been at an overnight event

I have been in a taxi

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country

I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIPS:

I’m in a relationship

I have a crush on a celebrity

I have a crush on someone I know

I have been in at least 3 relationships

I have never been in a relationship

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush on someone for over a year

I have been in a relationship for at least a year

I have had feelings for a friend

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”

I live close to my school (it’s some kind of boarding school so ...yeah?)

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling

I live in the United States

There is snow right now where I live

I have hung out with a friend in the past month

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CD’s

I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT:

I have break-danced

I know a person named Jamie

I have had a teacher with the last name that’s hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair

I’m listening to one song on repeat right now

I have punched someone in the past week

I know someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone

I have eaten a pancake today

I know what I want to do with my life

Tagged by:  @elementumhero

Your Kindness

Your kindness is terrifying! You're so kind and innocent that you could get away with anything... No one would suspect you, and even if you were caught, you wouldn't get that bad of a punishment. To add onto that, who doesn't feel like they owe the people who are kind to them continually? Almost anything you ask for, people will feel more or less obligated to give in. Now, chances are you aren't using your kindness as a way of manipulation... But, this is what makes you terrifying and dangerous! No one knows what you're really capable of, and won't suspect you... If so inclined, you could get away with a lot. Not to mention that the kindest people are the best actors, aren't they? Hardly ever letting on that they're anything less than happy, that they get annoyed, all that?

It was a whisper but it still made Judai’s lips press together tightly, feeling somewhat ashamed. It’s true he couldn’t tell Johan what to do. He was just projecting his own feelings onto his friends, wanting someone to scream at him for all the things he’d done. Wanting someone to be angry at him.

None of his friends had done that, after coming back from the other dimension. Nor had they later. They kept standing beside him, something Judai was grateful for, but his insides churned, thinking ‘why aren’t you pissed off at me, why do you still trust me’.

“Well I can’t.” Judai’s voice cracked, coming out a little hoarse. “I can’t forgive myself. I can’t even trust myself some days anymore.” His hold on Johan slackened, arms falling limp at his sides, head bowed down. “I don’t understand how you can. ”

“And that’s okay.” he replied, voice calm, while he was still holding the other on, even though when the other one let go. “One day you’ll reach the point where you can. Until then it’s okay. Don’t force yourself to anything.” 

The time in the other dimension had left their scars on all of them,but maybe Judai was the one how suffered the most under it. Johan wanted to help him with that. 

@viomuses​ // meme