Banished

                                Vengeance is an idiots game 

“Did she hurt you?”

“Oh, but she doesn’t do it every day – just once or twice a week.”

“We all got to work out our own problems.”

“Ow! You got my finger!“

“Well, why don’t you get your finger out of the way!“

“Now lookit, [name], you ain’t using your head. Think you didn’t have any brains at all.”

“Oh, you just won’t listen, that’s all.“

“Well, your head ain’t made of straw, you know.“

“She ain’t nothing to be afraid of. Have a little courage, that’s all.”

“Help! Help me, [name!] Get me out of here! Help!”

“Some day they’re going to erect a statue to me in this town, and –”

“Here, here – can’t work on an empty stomach.“

“You always get yourself into a fret over nothing.“

“Now, you just help us out today, and find yourself a place where you won’t get into any trouble.“

“If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow, why, oh, why can’t I?”

“You mean she bit you?“

“That dog’s a menace to the community.”

“I’m the one that ought to be punished.“

“Unless you want to go against the law.“

“Now you’re seeing reason.“

“You wicked old witch!“

“I’ve been dying to tell you what I thought of you!  And now – well, being a Christian woman, I can’t say it!“

“You came back! Oh, I’m so glad!“

“Well, well, well – house guests, huh?  And who might you be?”

“No, no – now don’t tell me.”

“Let’s see – you’re – you’re traveling in disguise. No, that’s not right.  I – you’re – you’re going on a visit.  No, I’m wrong. That’s…You’re – running away.“

“I thought you were going along with me.“

“Poor little kid, I hope she gets home all right.”

“Everybody in the storm cellar!“

“I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.“

Night at the Museum

❝ I told you, I don’t like to be manhandled!❞ ❝ Oh. That’s problematic.❞ ❝ Look, we’re men. We fight, okay? That’s what we do!❞ ❝ Hey teeny, how does that sound?❞ ❝ Don’t be a kiss-ass.❞  ❝ Control your young, please.❞ ❝ Take a look. Do they look happy?❞   ❝ I cannot tolerate this type of chaos❞  ❝ Don’t make eye contact!❞  ❝ Yeah. Keep shootin’. Nothing’s gonna happen.❞  ❝ You rock! I am a big fan.❞ ❝ This is not worth $11.50 an hour!❞ ❝ Good Lord, ___ ! Why are you slapping a monkey?❞  ❝ Don’t let anything in or out.❞  ❝ Do you have any idea what I’ve been through tonight?❞ ❝ I thought you liked surprises!❞  ❝ He was our fourth president, right?❞  ❝ Terrible people skills…❞  ❝ You really think he’s the one?❞  ❝ I did not sign up for this.❞  ❝ I just need a regular job that is not life-threatening and pays my bills.❞ 

Battle of the Smithsonian

❝ Never send a boy to do a woman’s job.❞ ❝ Sorry. Last time I checked, I thought we lived in a free country, so…❞ ❝ I take it you have a plan?❞  ❝ Act first, think later- ❞  ❝ That is not my name.❞  ❝ In case you weren’t listening, I’m not one to shy away from danger.❞ ❝ I literally didn’t understand a word you just said.❞  ❝ Sometimes it’s more noble to tell a small lie than deliver a painful truth.❞ ❝ What’s a flapjack?❞  ❝ Oh, God! I want to kill you right now!❞  ❝ Yeah, but that sounds made-up, even for you.❞  ❝ Oh, you’re just so adorable, even when you’re threatening me. I can’t take you seriously.❞ ❝ I will always be famous for my biggest failure.❞  ❝ You’re not evil, you’re asthmatic.❞  ❝ I am an inventor, I invent things.❞  ❝ Sorry, I don’t mean to stare. You just look very familiar.❞  ❝ What… is that thing?❞ ❝ Did you just make a decision to possibly end your life earlier than you were expecting?❞  ❝ Okay, thats’ actually crazy.❞  ❝ Don’t worry, I got this handled.❞ ❝ You just seem… vaguely grouchy.❞ ❝ Don’t touch the hair!❞ ❝ My hair is considered currency in certain parts of Europe.❞  ❝ I see that you’re genuinely slightly bothered.❞  ❝ What are you staring at?❞  ❝ Put your hands in your pockets, bring your attitude way down, and also be nice to people.❞

Secret of the Tomb

Put a number from 1-30 in my inbox, (without peeking at the image) for a drabble or a thread starter inspired by the corresponding image. Please specify M/F, M/M, or F/F along with which muses.

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…Okay, he had to admit that this probably did look like a precarious situation.  He was being followed by three men, all keeping their distance from him for the time being at least. Louis knew he was being lead somewhere, and he wasn’t about to play into their hands.

hey! watch it, mister!

they’ve lost their land, but they’ve gained access to heaven.

there is a great deal of difference between an innocent and a savage.

strange place for a decent fella to visit, if you don’t mind me saying.

who said i was a decent fella?

i’m looking for an old friend.

those you do find are ‘bout as sociable as an ulcerated back tooth.

i’m a married man, i’m afraid.

you aren’t very talkative, are you?

don’t make me kill you.

do i look like i need saving?

i was… i was doing something stupid.

you should’ve left me there to die.

thank you. for saving my life, i mean.

back in the land of the living, i see?

i suspect you’ve stolen more horses than you’ve broken.

first impressions are hard to erase.

you’ll get no complaints from me.

how about a cold drink?

keep your eyes peeled for anything suspicious.

with your trigger itch and my feminine intuition, we should make quite a team.

luck doesn’t really come into it.

apart from a few extra scars, it’ll be as nothing happened.

i understand that a city dweller such as yourself likes to have some exotic secrets so us country folk are impressed.

you’re looking much better. considering you were almost buzzard food a couple days ago.

have you needlessly risked your life since we last spoke?

perhaps there’s hope for you yet.

oh, don’t be so deliberately enigmatic.

it’s an unusual start to a friendship.

i didn’t realise we were friends, ___?

don’t go waking snakes.

❛  it was the best time. it was an innocent time.  ❜

❛  are we doing it correctly  ?  ❜

❛  who am i talking about  ?  you  ?  ❜

❛  my neighbour was arrested by the fbi for being a cannibal.  ❜

❛  the fbi was swarming our lobby and arrested this guy at a six am raid.  ❜

❛  no, he never said to me in the elevator  ‘ guess what : i might be a cannibal. ’  ❜

❛  he was quiet but he was so hungry.  ❜

❛  we’ve all been there.  ❜

❛  i really want that to be a lie.  ❜

❛  florida is the costco of upsetting people.  ❜

❛  it was like comic con but alcoholic.  ❜

❛  so, i put it in the refrigerator. i took the hat and i put it in the fridge.  ❜

❛  that is an interesting way to look at it.  ❜

❛  this guy touched my car and i’m gonna nail him.  ❜

❛  the mud on the carpet  ?  oh, that’s mine  ?  alright.  ❜

❛  we’re a little different as people.  ❜

❛  there’s always like five of his friends that he calls ‘ the homies ’ sleeping on the floor.  ❜

❛  these are like XXXL shirt and jacket with spongebob squarepants pajama bottoms.  ❜

❛  i must be the best person you know.  ❜

❛  you’re amongst weird company.  ❜

❛  at best, prom is like a wedding.  ❜

❛  i’ve never met anyone who had a good prom.  ❜

❛  you bought a limo  ?  ❜

❛  i’ve been nervous for 35 years.  ❜

❛  they have a room for giraffes.  ❜

❛  no  !  camels, not giraffes  !  ❜

❛  i’m just gonna sit here and eat popcorn.  ❜

❛  this is your day to stroke each other off  !  ❜

❛  warren, warren, warren. that’s a weird name.  ❜

❛  we got high in my room.  ❜

❛  i would much rather eat potato chips on the sidewalk.  ❜

❛  i get scared at outdoor concerts.  ❜

❛  i eat the mushrooms. i eat them all and i start hallucinating, as one does.  ❜

❛  i watched a woman eat a hot dog over a garbage can and i stared at her like she was the mona lisa.  ❜

❛  why don’t you have a seat  ?  everything’s gonna be fine.  ❜

❛  i discard people when i don’t need them.  ❜

❛  much like tantric sex, it’s the same mess at the end.  ❜

❛  give me a vial of your urin and i’ll do it.  ❜

❛  oh, look. we actually did it.  ❜

❛  the penis is triangle shaped.  ❜

❛  do not do that. because you could get hurt or worse.  ❜

❛  it’s called ‘ violins against violence. ’  ❜

❛  but didn’t you listen to our whole philosophy thing  ?  ❜

❛  i know but it’s bullshit.  ❜

❛  oh, no. that was so long ago. who knows what happened in that dark tunnel.  ❜

❛  nope, there is no right way to say this.  ❜

❛  if you’re an adult male who sees no flaws in his father you are an insane person.  ❜

❛  listen to me. we’re going to win. this is going to be fantastic.  ❜

❛  is it me  ?  ❜

❛  i’m not mad at you about the marker. i’m not mad about the marker.  ❜

❛  if i’m mad at anyone, it’s the dog.  ❜