✰ * º ❛ buzzfeed unsolved sentence starters. ❜
( part of the youtube starter series )
‘ i told you, it’s not as magical as it sounds. ’ ‘ oh boy, did he not like his box and he spent years in his box not liking his box. ’ ‘ you have a habit for citing movies as evidence. ’ ‘ kids kind of all look the same. ’ ‘ when babies are born, everyone goes, ‘oh, what a cute baby’ eh, it’s a baby either your baby’s ugly or normal. ’ ‘ i was a very ugly baby. ’ ‘ i have the mind of a detective. ’ ‘ you don’t have the mind of a detective, you just stumbled upon a good question for once that, you know, actually pertained to the story. ’ ‘ what do you have against pennsylvania? ’ ‘ it’s quite up there in pennsylvania, people to too much free time. you know what happens next. ’ ‘ how’d that turn out? do we have any pictures of that? ’ ‘ that’s not something you really tell someone in passing. ’ ‘ who sold his son? he sold his son! ’ ‘ anytime you have to say ‘it’s not incest, technically’ – that’s not great. ’ ‘ did you just realize something? what just happened? ’ ‘ did you not realize that until now? ’ ‘ did i just solve something? i may have just solved something! ’ ‘ the day you solve something, i’ll give you $500. ’ ‘ $500 real dollars? i could go with disneyland on that kind of money. that’ll last me a couple days maybe. ’ ‘ i’m not a sick-o, i’m just interested in– okay, maybe i’m a little weird. ’ ‘ i love this right off the bat. ’ ‘ i love it when serial killers have a fun little thing. i don’t approve of serial killers, but i think – if you’re gonna kill a bunch of people – you might as well have some fun with it. ’ ‘ they don’t make serial killer baseball cards though, do they? ’ ‘ everybody had an axe back in the day, huh? ’ ‘ sometimes, even the most beautiful places, hold the darkest secrets. ’ ‘ i’m gonna look up a slouch hat because that sounds like something i need. ’ ‘ this guy sounds like a villain from rocky and bullwinkle. ’ ‘ jazz it! honey, you gotta jazz it. i’m not gonna throw out this axe, so we better jazz it. ’ ‘ let’s see how many of these fuckers i can make dance. ’ ‘ i think, just, how about don’t kill people? ’ ‘ i thought we were here to get into the mind of a serial killer. ’ ‘ no, no, no, no. just a theory? it’s dumb. ’ ‘ he seems like a cool dude. ’ ‘ i think he just did it because he’s a badass. ’ ‘ what’s so funny about that? he has a bomb. ’ ‘ –you think james bond ever wore a clip-on bowtie? ’ ‘ it seems like a bad idea to make your get-rich-quick scheme to be to impersonate a criminal ’ ‘ which makes this, most likely, complete horseshit. ’ ‘ they just said ‘unidentified object or some stupid shit like that. ’ ‘ that’s interesting… if that’s true, that is interesting. ’ ‘ cool guy. coolest guy in history. nice sunglasses. wow! bourbon’s great. ’ ‘ and then he died? ’ ‘ and then he died. talk about a guy who appreciates a cliffhanger. ’ ‘ you don’t wanna make enemies of the deep state. ’ ‘ he’s kinda starting to sound like an idiot. ’ ‘ he’s a big dumb-dumb. ’ ‘ that’s a good point. i never thought about that! ’ ‘ in a lot of ways this dog is the real hero of this story, it seems like. ’ ‘ i’d like to have something happy about this story and the dog is a regular lassie. ’ ‘ oh. well, that’s a weird childhood. ’ ‘ i can’t say i feel exhilarated right now. ’ ‘ just try to picture one of the most famous people in the world trying to sneak into the tsa with a glued-on mustache and thinking that it’s gonna work out. i can’t believe he was even considering it. ’ ‘ that’s avalanche of ‘he-done-it’ right there. ’ ‘ oh boy… that’s uh… holy shit! is all i have to say. ’ ‘ from my knucklehead perspective, this looks very bad. ’ ‘ he dr. seuss’d his way out of a murder. ’ ‘ this episode is bumming me out. ’ ‘ you’re really hitting at their heart right now. keep going, keep going. maybe you’ll make a difference. ’ ‘ i don’t like this guy. ’ ‘ people were murdered… and this guy’s playing dress up? ’ ‘ i feel dirty. i feel like i need to take a shower and then a bath and then another shower. ’ ‘ i need a drink. ’ ‘ don’t cite the internet. ’ ‘ i mean, could you even detect ‘fruity garlic’ if it came down to it? ’ ‘ i’m… li– if i were to– what is– what? ’ ‘ shut up, you idiot. we’ve already decided! ’ ‘ so you think this was all an elaborate hooky scheme. ’ ‘ yeah, i don’t know, man. it’s just fucking weird. ’ ‘ well, i think this theory is bullshit, but… anyways. ’ ‘ it’s a real thing, pal. ’ ‘ the whole idea of hysteria is that you don’t realize it. you’re not like ‘yeah, we all participated in a mass hysteria, it was a real riot. man, she got fucked up. she was having a great time. what a fun hysteria that was.’ ’ ‘ …and you don’t believe this, because? ’ ‘ oo, this goes all the way to the top! i don’t know if we should be looking into this. some stones are best left unturned. ’ ‘ meanwhile, they’re playing hot potato with a poison syringe. ’ ‘ okay! you just shut your mouth. i’m done. ’ ‘ i mean… shut up, you’re– i can’t even– this is… i thought you were like, on the level on this one. ’ ‘ can you say, definitively, that she was not abducted? ’ ‘ that’s it? fuck you! that definitively did not happen. ’
( videos: one, two, three, four, five )
