After almost 6 years I've gained access to this old account. Wowowow! Probably never coming back but hey yall!

The worst part is the only thing i can think is i wish he would have killed me.

After this there is no reason.

I have never meant as much to someone as they meant to me. This isnt just a "depressed thought" its a literal fact. Its been very very clear to the point theyve almost said exactly that. I cut people off and theyre just fine with it. I get my heart torn into shreds and theyre perfectly okay. Im not even my best friends best friend for fucks sake. I literally try my hardest to be someone that everyone needs but theres always someone even better in their lives and honestly no one seems to get anything going on with me. They get some of it but not the biggest parts. Its honestly exhausting and i dont see any real reason to keep going on like this. The thoughts come every single day now and i cant think of a time that its ever been this bad. Im close to calling it quits.

Even my good choices turn out bad.

Recently reconnected with an ex and all i can think about is how fucking bomb the sex was with her.

I have one actual friend. Anyone else wanna join this small club. Dont be shy. Desperately in need of more people to talk to

Yall can sit and talk about how nice romance and stuff is but when youre someone who has never once felt like you could just take your clothes off in front of someone and bam theyre all over you and wanting you...all that romance seems stupid.

80% of the reason for my dysphoria is that i wasnt born a natural guy so i feel like my sex life sucks. I just want to do it with a girl whos into trying new things and different positions even though i aint got a dick.

Im going to ruin something good because of how bad she fucked me up.